Stay-At-Home-Mother but not Housekeeper

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand why this is controversial. I don't like to clean. It's not that I can't do - I don't want to do it. And we make enough money so I don't have to. So we outsource it and I can focus on the kids. When my kids are older they will have chores, just like I do as an adult. But I hardly thinks it's a life skill to know how to clean your house. It's not rocket science. Plus, I think i's rather teach my kids how to make enough money that they don't have to clean either.

[Anonymous]

This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

Yikes. I appreciate your honesty, but if that isn't a transactional arrangement right there I don't know what is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

Yikes. I appreciate your honesty, but if that isn't a transactional arrangement right there I don't know what is.

Oh my god. It takes all kinds, but I really really hope that if my daughter gets married and has kids and stays home for a while that keeping her husband well-stocked with blowjobs and wild sex at his demand are not part of the terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

Yikes. I appreciate your honesty, but if that isn't a transactional arrangement right there I don't know what is.

Oh my god. It takes all kinds, but I really really hope that if my daughter gets married and has kids and stays home for a while that keeping her husband well-stocked with blowjobs and wild sex at his demand are not part of the terms.

Yeah, we can see how well always having a headache but having lots of time for wine with Mommy friends will go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why this is controversial. I don't like to clean. It's not that I can't do - I don't want to do it. And we make enough money so I don't have to. So we outsource it and I can focus on the kids. When my kids are older they will have chores, just like I do as an adult. But I hardly thinks it's a life skill to know how to clean your house. It's not rocket science. Plus, I think i's rather teach my kids how to make enough money that they don't have to clean either.

And how, exactly are you teaching your kids to be so entitled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

Yikes. I appreciate your honesty, but if that isn't a transactional arrangement right there I don't know what is.

Oh my god. It takes all kinds, but I really really hope that if my daughter gets married and has kids and stays home for a while that keeping her husband well-stocked with blowjobs and wild sex at his demand are not part of the terms.

Yeah, we can see how well always having a headache but having lots of time for wine with Mommy friends will go.

Huh? English next time please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to be an absolute sex kitten in the bedroom.

My husband and I have awesome sex when we both feel like it (which is regularly, so great for both of us!) and we both have interesting/lucrative careers. I'm so glad my ability to give him a mind-blowing orgasm is some fucked up quid pro quo arrangement. To quote our former FBI director, the thought of that makes me feel mildly nauseous.

[Anonymous]

Some of you all are confusing what it means to have a compatible marriage with what it means to be a SAHM.

Taking care of little ones is rewarding and well worth it but childcare isn't "sexy"....and thinking that a man "let's" his wife SAH because of the services that she provides in the bedroom is sort of laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why this is controversial. I don't like to clean. It's not that I can't do - I don't want to do it. And we make enough money so I don't have to. So we outsource it and I can focus on the kids. When my kids are older they will have chores, just like I do as an adult. But I hardly thinks it's a life skill to know how to clean your house. It's not rocket science. Plus, I think i's rather teach my kids how to make enough money that they don't have to clean either.

And how, exactly are you teaching your kids to be so entitled?

We have limitless money thanks to my trust and you can bet your ass my kids know how to clean. "Focusing on the kids" means teaching them to be responsible citizens and team members, in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all are confusing what it means to have a compatible marriage with what it means to be a SAHM.

Taking care of little ones is rewarding and well worth it but childcare isn't "sexy"....and thinking that a man "let's" his wife SAH because of the services that she provides in the bedroom is sort of laughable.

Right? I mean- I know my blow jobs are awesome but that's now why I'm "allowed" to sah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all are confusing what it means to have a compatible marriage with what it means to be a SAHM.

Taking care of little ones is rewarding and well worth it but childcare isn't "sexy"....and thinking that a man "let's" his wife SAH because of the services that she provides in the bedroom is sort of laughable.

Right? I mean- I know my blow jobs are awesome but that's now why I'm "allowed" to sah.

One PP definitely insinuated that her "sex kitten" moves made her husband more amenable to her staying home. So yeah, in that case PP is "allowed" to stay home in part because of a certain arrangement they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my current arrangement and has been for 19 months. It works. My advice is to outsource as much as possible at first, you can decide later if you want to absorb those responsibilities. Oh, and it helps to trade sex for a certain lifestyle.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have always split the household chores equally. I want this to change when I stop working after our child is born - I want to do less. We have a cleaning service that comes in once a week and do a lot of ordering of supplies online.

Basically, I want to do only what a good nanny would do in terms of spending all the baby's waking hours engaged with her and her napping hours either napping myself or doing her chores (baby's laundry, food prep, etc). I want to do classes with my child, go on play dates and not think about the house at all.

Is this possible? DH is all for it right now but...

yes many SAHM also have a housekeeper come 2-5 days a week to do laundry, cleaning, organizing, filing, put things away, food prep, errands.
so one person is tending to the children and the other to the home. works this way until fulltime school starts really.

Enjoy your young child/children! The days are long but the years are short!

Um, I would say that quite a few SAHMs have a weekly or biweekly housekeeper. A small handful may have a housekeeper 3-5 times a week (I have actually never seen that myself). But the vast majority of SAHMs do their own housework. They might get a sitter for their kids every now and then but I've never met a SAHM with a nanny.

+1 it never occurred to me to even get a housekeeper while I stayed home bc I felt that that was part of my job, along with taking care of kids, cooking, etc
However, we did live in another state where nannies are nonexistent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all are confusing what it means to have a compatible marriage with what it means to be a SAHM.

Taking care of little ones is rewarding and well worth it but childcare isn't "sexy"....and thinking that a man "let's" his wife SAH because of the services that she provides in the bedroom is sort of laughable.

Right? I mean- I know my blow jobs are awesome but that's now why I'm "allowed" to sah.

One PP definitely insinuated that her "sex kitten" moves made her husband more amenable to her staying home. So yeah, in that case PP is "allowed" to stay home in part because of a certain arrangement they have.

Yeah, I think that the PP is kind of...full of it.