Stay-At-Home-Mother but not Housekeeper

[Anonymous]

DH and I have always split the household chores equally. I want this to change when I stop working after our child is born - I want to do less. We have a cleaning service that comes in once a week and do a lot of ordering of supplies online.

Basically, I want to do only what a good nanny would do in terms of spending all the baby's waking hours engaged with her and her napping hours either napping myself or doing her chores (baby's laundry, food prep, etc). I want to do classes with my child, go on play dates and not think about the house at all.

Is this possible? DH is all for it right now but...

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

You're not a nanny. I assume you would like to believe you are an equal member of your household and not your husband's employee.

[Anonymous]

So you want him to earn all the money and do all the household chores? Let us know how that goes.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the question to us. Discuss it with your husband. Report back to us. This is not a group decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have always split the household chores equally. I want this to change when I stop working after our child is born - I want to do less. We have a cleaning service that comes in once a week and do a lot of ordering of supplies online.

Basically, I want to do only what a good nanny would do in terms of spending all the baby's waking hours engaged with her and her napping hours either napping myself or doing her chores (baby's laundry, food prep, etc). I want to do classes with my child, go on play dates and not think about the house at all.

Is this possible? DH is all for it right now but...

You are not a nanny. You are a mother. Repeat it a few times and it will sink in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the question to us. Discuss it with your husband. Report back to us. This is not a group decision.

I did and he agrees 100% but I am not sure if either of us know what is involved. My job will be the care and teaching of our child. We can afford to outsource a bit more if needed.

[Anonymous]

I want a million dollars but I don't want to work. See how ridiculous that sounds? Your plan won't work and you sound lazy. "I want to do all of the fun Mom things, but none of the hard work mom things!"

[Anonymous]

I know a woman who does this but she is very wealthy. She has a full time housekeeper who also acts as house manager as well as a personal chef who comes in once a week and makes five dinners for the couple and a few dishes for their now toddler. The woman says she does less "housework" than she did when she was single.

[Anonymous]

You are not going to want poopy laundry to be laying around, dirty bottles in the sink, baby food smashed in the carpet and the million other messes that a baby makes just sitting there waiting for the weekly cleaning help to arrive and tidy up.

If you stay home, you will be cleaning A LOT. Comes with the territory. If you would prefer to hire someone to do normal housecleaning (floors, bathrooms, etc) that's up to you. But don't think that you won't be cleaning because you will be.

[Anonymous]

I think it's possible with only one child.

You and your DH will need to lower your expectations regarding home chores.

We (DH and I) kind of did this until DC was in preschool (3) and then I did a bit more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want a million dollars but I don't want to work. See how ridiculous that sounds? Your plan won't work and you sound lazy. "I want to do all of the fun Mom things, but none of the hard work mom things!"

I don't think narration, reading, singing and engaging a baby all day is necessarily the "fun Mom things". I am not even sure I am going to like nursing. I am staying home for our child not to take care of our house.

I understand I could be very naive and dead wrong about how this is going to work out. Thanks for the responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the question to us. Discuss it with your husband. Report back to us. This is not a group decision.

I did and he agrees 100% but I am not sure if either of us know what is involved. My job will be the care and teaching of our child. We can afford to outsource a bit more if needed.

Oh man. Well, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not going to want poopy laundry to be laying around, dirty bottles in the sink, baby food smashed in the carpet and the million other messes that a baby makes just sitting there waiting for the weekly cleaning help to arrive and tidy up.

If you stay home, you will be cleaning A LOT. Comes with the territory. If you would prefer to hire someone to do normal housecleaning (floors, bathrooms, etc) that's up to you. But don't think that you won't be cleaning because you will be.

OP here and I will do everything regarding the care and cleaning/laundry for the baby. I meant general household chores like cleaning bathrooms and washing floors.

[Anonymous]

If you have the money, go for it.
I hope you're not thinking of having your husband do more... but that you're considering hiring a live-in housekeeper.