Advising men and women to stay with cheating spouses, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look the couples who are open to overlooking a spouse who has dalliances know they are opening themselves to potential STIs and such. Do you think they havent considered that and decided it is still worth it to them? Why do you care so much about the level of sexual health risk they introduce to their marriage? Mind your business and let them tend to theirs.

New poster here. I divorced a cheating husband too. I'm very lucky I didn't get AIDS or Herpes, given the people my ex-husband was messing around with. Very high risk, in DC, which has the highest rates of HIV infection in the nation.

I know two women who just got herpes from recently divorced men in the DC area. I don't know the herpes rate in DC, but the city leads the nation in HIV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. On top of that, 1-in-6 Americans has genital herpes.

I think that your lecture to the PP is ridiculous. She brings up very valid points.

No you and PP are ridiculous. Why lecture folks about how they are opening themselves to STIs and such LIKE THESE FOLKS DON'T KNOW THAT ALREADY? Obviously they have decided they don't give a fuck so I am all this ^^^^^^^ is not new information to them OR something they have decided they arent willing to risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look the couples who are open to overlooking a spouse who has dalliances know they are opening themselves to potential STIs and such. Do you think they havent considered that and decided it is still worth it to them? Why do you care so much about the level of sexual health risk they introduce to their marriage? Mind your business and let them tend to theirs.

New poster here. I divorced a cheating husband too. I'm very lucky I didn't get AIDS or Herpes, given the people my ex-husband was messing around with. Very high risk, in DC, which has the highest rates of HIV infection in the nation.

I know two women who just got herpes from recently divorced men in the DC area. I don't know the herpes rate in DC, but the city leads the nation in HIV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. On top of that, 1-in-6 Americans has genital herpes.

I think that your lecture to the PP is ridiculous. She brings up very valid points.

No you and PP are ridiculous. Why lecture folks about how they are opening themselves to STIs and such LIKE THESE FOLKS DON'T KNOW THAT ALREADY? Obviously they have decided they don't give a fuck so I am all this ^^^^^^^ is not new information to them OR something they have decided they arent willing to risk.

Why are you so angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look the couples who are open to overlooking a spouse who has dalliances know they are opening themselves to potential STIs and such. Do you think they havent considered that and decided it is still worth it to them? Why do you care so much about the level of sexual health risk they introduce to their marriage? Mind your business and let them tend to theirs.

New poster here. I divorced a cheating husband too. I'm very lucky I didn't get AIDS or Herpes, given the people my ex-husband was messing around with. Very high risk, in DC, which has the highest rates of HIV infection in the nation.

I know two women who just got herpes from recently divorced men in the DC area. I don't know the herpes rate in DC, but the city leads the nation in HIV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. On top of that, 1-in-6 Americans has genital herpes.

I think that your lecture to the PP is ridiculous. She brings up very valid points.

No you and PP are ridiculous. Why lecture folks about how they are opening themselves to STIs and such LIKE THESE FOLKS DON'T KNOW THAT ALREADY? Obviously they have decided they don't give a fuck so I am all this ^^^^^^^ is not new information to them OR something they have decided they arent willing to risk.

Why are you so angry?


Better than being stupid. But actually, I just don't care if married couples want to give each other the clap or herpes in exchange for staying married and keeping their fancy houses or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look the couples who are open to overlooking a spouse who has dalliances know they are opening themselves to potential STIs and such. Do you think they havent considered that and decided it is still worth it to them? Why do you care so much about the level of sexual health risk they introduce to their marriage? Mind your business and let them tend to theirs.

New poster here. I divorced a cheating husband too. I'm very lucky I didn't get AIDS or Herpes, given the people my ex-husband was messing around with. Very high risk, in DC, which has the highest rates of HIV infection in the nation.

I know two women who just got herpes from recently divorced men in the DC area. I don't know the herpes rate in DC, but the city leads the nation in HIV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. On top of that, 1-in-6 Americans has genital herpes.

I think that your lecture to the PP is ridiculous. She brings up very valid points.

No you and PP are ridiculous. Why lecture folks about how they are opening themselves to STIs and such LIKE THESE FOLKS DON'T KNOW THAT ALREADY? Obviously they have decided they don't give a fuck so I am all this ^^^^^^^ is not new information to them OR something they have decided they arent willing to risk.

Calm down geez. We get it you are okay with your husband cheating and you are okay with the risk of STDs. You have accepted your reality and you have made your peace with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would find it completely ridiculous that I would be expected to break up my nice life, my financial footing, my social fabric, my kid's stable lifestyle and my amiable relationship with my husband just because one or both of us make occasionally swap bodily fluids with someone else. Sexual extracurriculars do not threaten spousal status as long as they are treated as diversions.

Make sure you pass on these same home lessons to your children. Your daughter will be with a cheating husband and your response will be "hunny he pays the bills, your nice lifestyle, you have kids .. so what if he is cheating. 1
Or 2 STDs won't kill you..now suck it up, suppress your emotions and stay with him.
You are fortunate to marry such a wonderful man ".
The ideal recipient for the greatest mother of year award

You don't get to tell other people how to feel. I wouldn't feel any particular emotion to suppress. What you don't understand is that for some people, there are wives (and husbands), and then there are nonwives (and nonhusbands). One does not infringe on the other. I've said it upthread - don't presume to know what other marriages are like, and what other people have promised to each other. I would be much angrier with my DH if he spent money without permission or started ignoring the children or became an asshole otherwise. That would be actual dereliction of duty. But one can be a perfectly dutiful spouse, and occasionally get your jollies elsewhere. And because DH and I come from the same culture, we both understand: marriage is for life, being a parent is for life, building a foundation together and uniting families is for life. A fuck or two...is a blip. For both.

What culture? What if it happened with the same person for a year or years?

Soudns like BS.