Bathroom at school: teacher said no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And my daughter peed her pants. She asked to use the bathroom and wasn't allowed. She tried holding it but wound up peeing her pants. Why do teachers do this? I called the school to make sure my daughter told the truth, spoke to the teacher and was told that there are two bathroom breaks per day and if they need to go when it's not a bathroom break then they must declare that it's an emergency. Unbelievable.

Our kids had the same experience in kindergarten. When we approach the teacher she lied straight to our face to cover up her behind. We trust our boys when they told us fheir teacher did not allow them to fuse the bathroom.
That's plain abuse. If we all unite and complain to the school board there's a chance school staff won't do it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And my daughter peed her pants. She asked to use the bathroom and wasn't allowed. She tried holding it but wound up peeing her pants. Why do teachers do this? I called the school to make sure my daughter told the truth, spoke to the teacher and was told that there are two bathroom breaks per day and if they need to go when it's not a bathroom break then they must declare that it's an emergency. Unbelievable.

Our kids had the same experience in kindergarten. When we approach the teacher she lied straight to our face to cover up her behind. We trust our boys when they told us fheir teacher did not allow them to fuse the bathroom.
That's plain abuse. If we all unite and complain to the school board there's a chance school staff won't do it anymore.

Any pediatrician would probably be willing to write a note that your child must use the restroom as needed, as holding too long can cause a lot of problems. Wouldn't the school love it if they got a classroom's worth of medical notes requiring access to the bathroom? Then they would really need to reevaluate their policies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the principal and counselor involved because that is appalling. If they don't take action I would write to the Superintendent and CC the principal.

And also maybe Child Protective Services.

Please, dear god, do not bother CPS with s**t like this. Yes, it's wrong that the teacher isn't allowing bathroom freedom, please don't conflate it with abuse. CPS has real problems to deal with...they aren't your personal parenting police.

It IS ABUSE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And my daughter peed her pants. She asked to use the bathroom and wasn't allowed. She tried holding it but wound up peeing her pants. Why do teachers do this? I called the school to make sure my daughter told the truth, spoke to the teacher and was told that there are two bathroom breaks per day and if they need to go when it's not a bathroom break then they must declare that it's an emergency. Unbelievable.

Our kids had the same experience in kindergarten. When we approach the teacher she lied straight to our face to cover up her behind. We trust our boys when they told us fheir teacher did not allow them to fuse the bathroom.
That's plain abuse. If we all unite and complain to the school board there's a chance school staff won't do it anymore.

Any pediatrician would probably be willing to write a note that your child must use the restroom as needed, as holding too long can cause a lot of problems. Wouldn't the school love it if they got a classroom's worth of medical notes requiring access to the bathroom? Then they would really need to reevaluate their policies!

IT Is time for school board members, principals and teachers to reevaluate bathroom use policies and put themselves in the children shoes. I'd like to see school staff wetting their pants in front of everyone.

[Anonymous]

Interesting point- teachers are unable to use the bathroom while teaching class and must learn to use the bathroom during breaks. This is true of most professions. I expect my children to be able to not go to the bathroom for at least an hour unless it is an emergency. I ask this of them every time we go on a road trip. If we are driving to New York, I expect to take one break during the trip unless there is an emergency. If we go on trips under two hours, I never plan a stop and they are fine. This has never been a problem with my two elementary kids. They realize that you can't always go right away. On an airplane you are not allowed to go at the beginning and end of the flight. Can your children hold it then? Yes, kids have emergencies and should be allowed to go then. But no, during instruction, children should be able to wait until an appropriate time to go. Teach your children this so they can grow up and know how to function in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've taught my daughter that she's to ask, and if she's told no, to wait until she can't wait anymore and then to just get up and walk out, and I will back her up on that decision to the school.

But I also have the doctor write a note each year saying she is always to be excused to use the bathroom whenever she asks for medical reasons. She knows not to abuse that, and never has.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've taught my daughter that she's to ask, and if she's told no, to wait until she can't wait anymore and then to just get up and walk out, and I will back her up on that decision to the school.

But I also have the doctor write a note each year saying she is always to be excused to use the bathroom whenever she asks for medical reasons. She knows not to abuse that, and never has.

This.

I'm the op and I told my daughter the same thing. Leave the room and use the toilet if you need to, even if told no. The teacher has made my daughter so nervous that I guess she's afraid of her. The teacher said my daughter can go when she asks from now on. She is not happy with me but I don't really care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the principal and counselor involved because that is appalling. If they don't take action I would write to the Superintendent and CC the principal.

And also maybe Child Protective Services.

Please, dear god, do not bother CPS with s**t like this. Yes, it's wrong that the teacher isn't allowing bathroom freedom, please don't conflate it with abuse. CPS has real problems to deal with...they aren't your personal parenting police.

Actually, it technically is abuse: restricting access to food, water, and bathroom is abuse. Bladders and bowels don't always cooperate with schedules.

But I do agree that CPS is the wrong resource here - it should be OSSE if there is a persistent problem that the school won't or can't address.

I can totally understand that teachers have their hands full and don't want to open the door for even more to pay attention to, but that responsibility can't be shifted to children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting point- teachers are unable to use the bathroom while teaching class and must learn to use the bathroom during breaks. This is true of most professions. I expect my children to be able to not go to the bathroom for at least an hour unless it is an emergency. I ask this of them every time we go on a road trip. If we are driving to New York, I expect to take one break during the trip unless there is an emergency. If we go on trips under two hours, I never plan a stop and they are fine. This has never been a problem with my two elementary kids. They realize that you can't always go right away. On an airplane you are not allowed to go at the beginning and end of the flight. Can your children hold it then? Yes, kids have emergencies and should be allowed to go then. But no, during instruction, children should be able to wait until an appropriate time to go. Teach your children this so they can grow up and know how to function in society.

You sound like fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole conversation is so weird to me. I teach at a middle school and I'm used to kids lying about having to use the bathroom but I still let them go. *shrug* They're usually back in about 3 minutes. For whatever reason, they need a break, so I let them take it. The few times I've had kids abuse my liberal policy, I just give THAT kid more restrictions (i.e. - I'm only signing 2 bathroom passes for you this week so you better find another time to go).

As the parent of two young kids, I know that they don't always go to the bathroom until it gets SO urgent they cannot wait. I would think that every elementary teacher would know that this is something that little kids have trouble with and be a little more liberal in their policy. If it's a bad time for my daughter to go to the bathroom, I usually just ask "is it an emergency or can it wait" and she'll be able to tell me which it is. Are that many 2nd graders lying about having to use the restroom that it results in a sweeping policy for the whole school that bathroom use is restricted?

I don't get upset about much when it comes to my kids and the authority figures they deal with because I like for them to learn how to navigate these waters by themselves but peeing yourself in class is just humiliating and this would be something that would set me off - particularly if it happened more than once.

This is the way to go. Why make a policy that assumes the worst intentions of every kid? Assume the kid needs to go when they say they need to go. Start out with the bathroom visits framed in a more positive sense, as a privilege. Only if student is abusing that privilege do you take it away, add restrictions.

My kid has restrictions b/c he abused the bathroom policy and I appluad the teacher for doing that. He has 3 free passes. Since implementing this he has learned to control himself and will come home with all 3 passes unused for the day. The teacher has never denied a student a bathroom break. OP, I'm sorry that your kid had a bad experience. I'm glad you spoke with the teacher. Did you also speak with the principal (I may have missed that update)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've taught my daughter that she's to ask, and if she's told no, to wait until she can't wait anymore and then to just get up and walk out, and I will back her up on that decision to the school.

But I also have the doctor write a note each year saying she is always to be excused to use the bathroom whenever she asks for medical reasons. She knows not to abuse that, and never has.

This.

I'm the op and I told my daughter the same thing. Leave the room and use the toilet if you need to, even if told no. The teacher has made my daughter so nervous that I guess she's afraid of her. The teacher said my daughter can go when she asks from now on. She is not happy with me but I don't really care.

It's usually a good policy to not care whether an asshole isn't happy with you and the teacher definitely fits the bill.

[Anonymous]

I would be outraged if my child was denied a bathroom break. I honestly have never heard of this policy though. What county are you all in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting point- teachers are unable to use the bathroom while teaching class and must learn to use the bathroom during breaks. This is true of most professions. I expect my children to be able to not go to the bathroom for at least an hour unless it is an emergency. I ask this of them every time we go on a road trip. If we are driving to New York, I expect to take one break during the trip unless there is an emergency. If we go on trips under two hours, I never plan a stop and they are fine. This has never been a problem with my two elementary kids. They realize that you can't always go right away. On an airplane you are not allowed to go at the beginning and end of the flight. Can your children hold it then? Yes, kids have emergencies and should be allowed to go then. But no, during instruction, children should be able to wait until an appropriate time to go. Teach your children this so they can grow up and know how to function in society.

Many small children are still learning to read the signs and regulate their body functions. And every time they have a growth spurt, that control can get thrown off as their bodies adjust. Are you seriously comparing an adult to a 6-year-old in terms of thinking ahead and toileting?

Also, any adult who asks for accommodations in the workplace is in a much stronger place to advocate for herself. I don't believe for a minute that a teacher who needed to pee during class would be told "no."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole conversation is so weird to me. I teach at a middle school and I'm used to kids lying about having to use the bathroom but I still let them go. *shrug* They're usually back in about 3 minutes. For whatever reason, they need a break, so I let them take it. The few times I've had kids abuse my liberal policy, I just give THAT kid more restrictions (i.e. - I'm only signing 2 bathroom passes for you this week so you better find another time to go).

As the parent of two young kids, I know that they don't always go to the bathroom until it gets SO urgent they cannot wait. I would think that every elementary teacher would know that this is something that little kids have trouble with and be a little more liberal in their policy. If it's a bad time for my daughter to go to the bathroom, I usually just ask "is it an emergency or can it wait" and she'll be able to tell me which it is. Are that many 2nd graders lying about having to use the restroom that it results in a sweeping policy for the whole school that bathroom use is restricted?

I don't get upset about much when it comes to my kids and the authority figures they deal with because I like for them to learn how to navigate these waters by themselves but peeing yourself in class is just humiliating and this would be something that would set me off - particularly if it happened more than once.

This is the way to go. Why make a policy that assumes the worst intentions of every kid? Assume the kid needs to go when they say they need to go. Start out with the bathroom visits framed in a more positive sense, as a privilege. Only if student is abusing that privilege do you take it away, add restrictions.

My kid has restrictions b/c he abused the bathroom policy and I appluad the teacher for doing that. He has 3 free passes. Since implementing this he has learned to control himself and will come home with all 3 passes unused for the day. The teacher has never denied a student a bathroom break. OP, I'm sorry that your kid had a bad experience. I'm glad you spoke with the teacher. Did you also speak with the principal (I may have missed that update)?

My DC also "abuses" the bathroom policy and I'm fine with it. Her teacher is a shrew and my DD is miserable. If she needs a few breaks from that environment during the day, I'm totally fine with that. The very idea that the bathroom is a more pleasant place than a classroom is just sad....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the principal and counselor involved because that is appalling. If they don't take action I would write to the Superintendent and CC the principal.

And also maybe Child Protective Services.

Please, dear god, do not bother CPS with s**t like this. Yes, it's wrong that the teacher isn't allowing bathroom freedom, please don't conflate it with abuse. CPS has real problems to deal with...they aren't your personal parenting police.

Actually, it technically is abuse: restricting access to food, water, and bathroom is abuse. Bladders and bowels don't always cooperate with schedules.

But I do agree that CPS is the wrong resource here - it should be OSSE if there is a persistent problem that the school won't or can't address.

I can totally understand that teachers have their hands full and don't want to open the door for even more to pay attention to, but that responsibility can't be shifted to children.

So technically any teacher who doesn't allow eating in the class during instruction is abusive?