Male salary/ income is a deal breaker to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not consider myself to be a high earner (a lawyer earning 110k, its the least Ive made in my career thus far, I am totally mommy-tracked myself into a very family-friendly gig).


But I cannot honestly imagine being married to someone who earns less than me.

Yes, I realize my way of thinking is crazy---that 110k is a "low" salary" -- but I am being honest here. I would not respect a man who earned less than me given how much more I could be earning if I was not the primary caregiver to my kiddos.

I am the person at every field trip, at every 3pm "concert" and doing emergency your kiddo had an accident at school please come to and change him type asks. If I went full-throttle, I could easily earn 250+.

So, any spouse of mine would by definition need to be a high earner since I expect a lot from myself and my spouse.

I am re-reading this and recognize how entitled and crazy this sounds to a normal person.

I do not lack perspective. I was born and raised poor in this country (poor). Family of 5 sharing one bedroom and one bathroom, government cheese, poor. I would never want that for my kids. So I work my a@@ off and expect the same from my DH.

Happily married 15 years.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Basically ladies you find a man who treats you and your kids like royalty he only wants to be with you no other women yet he works at burger king . but says he wants to find something better.does he have a chance with you?

Honestly, not at my age. When I as in high school or college if this was a co-worker ...maybe. In my late 30's with kids if the person is the same age and working as a cashier or cook, no. I would agree with the PP that said talk is cheap and I would wonder why the person hasn't already taken steps to find something better. It isn't the salary because there are jobs like teacher, fireman, police officer, working in the military that don't pay the big money but would be acceptable careers assuming I could deal with the demands of having my significant other in those jobs. I earned more than DH when we were dating but he was in a career where his salary would go up, he is a hard worker, he is good about living within his means and saving money, and he didn't expect me to support him.

Unemployed is a no. It's hard enough when you are in a serious relationship and there is a stretch of unemployment. But atleast then you know how good it can be and hope to get back to that. In general I think men deal within employment worse than woman. In early dating you set yourself up for the person possibly moving where he can get a job, potentially being depressed or acting crazy due to his insecurity of not being employed or being perfectly fine with unemployment and looking for a sugar mamma.

[Anonymous]

It would depend on how long the guy has been unemployed.

I have dated guys in the past who didn't have jobs and it was rarely fun. The guys usually ended up mooching off of me big time.

So yes, a guy needs to be able to support himself.

He doesn't have to be rich, just self supporting.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time, when a guy is trying to figure out why he can't get women, it's because he:

1) Has a personality issue. Too angry, too self-centered, too insecure, no confidence, mommy's boy, etc

2) He keeps aiming out of his league. That woman who is an 8-9-10 looks wise is not going to date a guy who is a 3-4-5 looks wise unless he has high-status (like money). But a woman who is looks 3-4-5, will date you for exactly who you are.

So OP, ask yourself:
1) Have you taken care of your baggage and issues? Therapy, self-help, introspection, etc
2) Do you keep going after women who are out of your league?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well OP all is fair in love and war, and generally, an unemployed man or a man who has a burger king like job is not going to be attractive to a high-earning woman. That's just the way it is, women have the freedom to date/marry whomever they want to. There are no tricks or smooth talk that can get around this. Living in the DC area,you probably see a lot of successful women, and think that since there are so many of them why can't I just have one, but women have choices.

OP here. So the law of attraction is dictated by financial status?i seen an actress who usually dated high paid entertainers state she just wants a "regular guy" she could care less if they worked at burger king.so i dont think your statement of high earning woman holds much weight for every female.

Please identify for me one actress who has either dated a guy who worked at burger king, or has said she'd be happy to date a guy who works at Burger King. And then go introduce yourself to her, I'm sure she'd be thrilled and you'd be very happy together.

I'm curious to know the circumstance that led to you working at Burger King that should lead no one to question whether you'd be a good partner. I mean, there are plenty of guys who will treat you well who don't work at Burger King, so you can't really fall back on "I'll treat you well" as something that makes you stand out. Why should I take on the burden of someone I'll need to support when there are plenty of men out there who can contribute equally?

[Anonymous]

OP here , pp vivica fox said those comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the time, when a guy is trying to figure out why he can't get women, it's because he:

1) Has a personality issue. Too angry, too self-centered, too insecure, no confidence, mommy's boy, etc

2) He keeps aiming out of his league. That woman who is an 8-9-10 looks wise is not going to date a guy who is a 3-4-5 looks wise unless he has high-status (like money). But a woman who is looks 3-4-5, will date you for exactly who you are.

So OP, ask yourself:
1) Have you taken care of your baggage and issues? Therapy, self-help, introspection, etc
2) Do you keep going after women who are out of your league?

OP here , i never said i cant get a woman lol i just simply said i cant be in a relationship with a particular female(we're sexually active just no official commitments).your first point i really have no problems with(my mother is deceased as well) number 2 nope either.

[Anonymous]

Unemployed is a deal breaker. The floor is maybe 50-75k for salary. I make about 150k. So teacher would be ok, junior hill staffer would not.

[Anonymous]

Depends. Is he ambitious? That doesn't mean "wants to make more" - that means if he's unemplyed, is it due to reasonable circumstances and is he working his ass off to fix it? If he's a plumber, is he inspired to be the best damn plumber he can be? Is he making the best of the education/training/experience he has, or is he just coasting? I dated a guy with an MBA who was a mid-level banker at 40 because he'd never stay in a job when it got frustrating- he'd just quit without having another lined up. He had family money, so the cash wasn't an issue - it was his lack of commitment- if he can't even tough it out through job stress, how's he going to do with the stress of a family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not consider myself to be a high earner (a lawyer earning 110k, its the least Ive made in my career thus far, I am totally mommy-tracked myself into a very family-friendly gig).


But I cannot honestly imagine being married to someone who earns less than me.

Yes, I realize my way of thinking is crazy---that 110k is a "low" salary" -- but I am being honest here. I would not respect a man who earned less than me given how much more I could be earning if I was not the primary caregiver to my kiddos.

I am the person at every field trip, at every 3pm "concert" and doing emergency your kiddo had an accident at school please come to and change him type asks. If I went full-throttle, I could easily earn 250+.

So, any spouse of mine would by definition need to be a high earner since I expect a lot from myself and my spouse.

I am re-reading this and recognize how entitled and crazy this sounds to a normal person.

I do not lack perspective. I was born and raised poor in this country (poor). Family of 5 sharing one bedroom and one bathroom, government cheese, poor. I would never want that for my kids. So I work my a@@ off and expect the same from my DH.

Happily married 15 years.

Being a lawyer is a shitty, boring job that won't make you particularly interesting. Your increased financial value is what you bring to the table to compensate for that. A guy who makes less than you is presumably doing more interesting work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends. Is he ambitious? That doesn't mean "wants to make more" - that means if he's unemplyed, is it due to reasonable circumstances and is he working his ass off to fix it? If he's a plumber, is he inspired to be the best damn plumber he can be? Is he making the best of the education/training/experience he has, or is he just coasting? I dated a guy with an MBA who was a mid-level banker at 40 because he'd never stay in a job when it got frustrating- he'd just quit without having another lined up. He had family money, so the cash wasn't an issue - it was his lack of commitment- if he can't even tough it out through job stress, how's he going to do with the stress of a family?

You have a good mindframe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here , pp vivica fox said those comments.

And then she started dating a club promoter who proposed to her the following year with an 8-carat ring.

[Anonymous]

This thread is an excellent primer into why men should avoid ambitious professional women who will likely out earn them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make $640,000 and he makes $680,000. We are in the same field. My student loans were paid for by my parents.

We are even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is an excellent primer into why men should avoid ambitious professional women who will likely out earn them.

Yes, if their preference is to settle into poverty and mediocrity, they should avoid women who would expect more from a partner.