Why do western people have such disregard for family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eastern cultures tend to respect their elders. Western cultures can't wait for their elders to die off. Not to say I endorse the MIL abuse, but the complete lack of respect this culture condones saddens me. Most of these women are mothers. They will be discarded as readily as their mothers were.

You are a mean and horrible person. I'm Western culture and am very sad that my MIL and Mom [and my FIL and Dad] are deceased.

I wonder how you know what kind of person I am. You must be "Western culture"! I'm sorry your parents and in-laws are deceased, but I fail to see what their passing has to do with this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound very young and naive. I am Indian and actually grew up there.
I used to think the same as you when I lived there but not once I moved here and got to
know American families very well. I'm constantly amazed how much American parents do
for their kids even when working full time. They give up all their free time driving kids to
sports and even taking them on overnight trips for hockey, etc. I don't know any
parents who would do that in India. I find American and Asian families more similar than
different in a lot of ways. The difference here is that it is hard not to do assisted living because
no one can afford full day household help (cook, driver, maid) here. In India everyone has it
so they are able to look after elderly parents at home.

[Anonymous]

white people have had easy lives and are selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this shit getting anyone into TJ?

TJ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the east, we LOVE our families. We live and would die for them. As an adult daughter it is a great privilege and blessing to me that my elderly parents can live with us and that I can take care of them in their old age. I love my siblings and we all live near each other.

Why is it so different in the west?

Well, gosh, OP, it's just because you're better people.

That's the answer you were looking for, right?

[Anonymous]

In the US, girls aren't raped on buses at an alarming rate
In the US, domestic violence isn't hidden and thought of as being part of the marriage
In the US, child abuse is illegal and frowned upon
In the US, indentured servitude is against the law

But wait, southasians LOVE their families.

Really? Reread the above. I'm sure you understand what hasn't been outwardly written! The true meaning of my post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:white people have had easy lives and are selfish

White Americans? Absolutely. Especially chicks. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a southasian American who, after having lived in the U.S for over 20 years is pretty baffled by the western perspective on extended family. I have seen my friends and colleagues speak at great length about troubled relations with their brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and in laws. Most times, adult siblings only speak to each other occasionally and see each other at Christmas. Adult daughters can't stand their fathers and do not see them unless its an emergency. Siblings cutting each other off etc. Married couples not wanting to have their elderly parents live with them and more.

In the east, we LOVE our families. We live and would die for them. As an adult daughter it is a great privilege and blessing to me that my elderly parents can live with us and that I can take care of them in their old age. I love my siblings and we all live near each other.

Why is it so different in the west?

From My perspective, it seems that in other countries....there is always one person in the family that pulls the weight of everyone. The others who don't bring in money contribute by being nice, dependable, baby sitting, cooking, etc...I see it as an exchange of services. In the western world, it seems everyone is expected to pull their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:white people have had easy lives and are selfish

White Americans? Absolutely. Especially chicks. Ugh.

Jealousy

[Anonymous]

Asian parents help the kids a lot, from love obviously, but they expecting their kids to repay by taking care of them back and this expectation is planted in their kid's head as early as it can be in different way depend on the culture. It is not so obvious but it is there. Also Asian kids are not really allowed to speak their mind 100% because it may not sound respectful. Sometime I think it is emotional abuse or very controlling in Asian families.

While the western or North America's parents help their kids the same way WITHOUT the expecting their kids to repay them. They teach the kids to be dependent and speak their mind. The truth sometimes hurts and drives people away from each other. Because they are so independent that they don't need to come back.

Neither sides are perfect. Asian kids may be very resentful and Western's kid may be careless.

It is just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Because in my experience "a regard for family" goes hand in hand with a disregard for the individual's own personal dignity, worth, and fundamental personhood in their own right.

As a person recovering from an emotionally toxic childhood, I will not have it. I owe myself more respect than that.

All relationships should be mutually fulfilling and fully consensual, and those people who have earned my regard and I theirs shall have it, regardless of blood or the randomness of birth circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Because in my experience "a regard for family" goes hand in hand with a disregard for the individual's own personal dignity, worth, and fundamental personhood in their own right.

As a person recovering from an emotionally toxic childhood, I will not have it. I owe myself more respect than that.

All relationships should be mutually fulfilling and fully consensual, and those people who have earned my regard and I theirs shall have it, regardless of blood or the randomness of birth circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asian parents help the kids a lot, from love obviously, but they expecting their kids to repay by taking care of them back and this expectation is planted in their kid's head as early as it can be in different way depend on the culture. It is not so obvious but it is there. Also Asian kids are not really allowed to speak their mind 100% because it may not sound respectful. Sometime I think it is emotional abuse or very controlling in Asian families.

While the western or North America's parents help their kids the same way WITHOUT the expecting their kids to repay them. They teach the kids to be dependent and speak their mind. The truth sometimes hurts and drives people away from each other. Because they are so independent that they don't need to come back.

Neither sides are perfect. Asian kids may be very resentful and Western's kid may be careless.

It is just my opinion.

+1.
I think the goal of Asian parents is to raise a child who is successful in a lucrative career and in finding a spouse and having children. Whereas Western parents are more focused on raising a well-rounded individual who is happy and content in their life regardless of their life choices (eg being gay, pursuing an artistic career, etc are acceptable)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the US, girls aren't raped on buses at an alarming rate
In the US, domestic violence isn't hidden and thought of as being part of the marriage
In the US, child abuse is illegal and frowned upon
In the US, indentured servitude is against the law

But wait, southasians LOVE their families.

Really? Reread the above. I'm sure you understand what hasn't been outwardly written! The true meaning of my post.

??? Ok, these things may be illegal but you realize horrible things happen to people and often the gov't does nothing to stop it (like in our family).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian parents help the kids a lot, from love obviously, but they expecting their kids to repay by taking care of them back and this expectation is planted in their kid's head as early as it can be in different way depend on the culture. It is not so obvious but it is there. Also Asian kids are not really allowed to speak their mind 100% because it may not sound respectful. Sometime I think it is emotional abuse or very controlling in Asian families.

While the western or North America's parents help their kids the same way WITHOUT the expecting their kids to repay them. They teach the kids to be dependent and speak their mind. The truth sometimes hurts and drives people away from each other. Because they are so independent that they don't need to come back.

Neither sides are perfect. Asian kids may be very resentful and Western's kid may be careless.

It is just my opinion.

+1.
I think the goal of Asian parents is to raise a child who is successful in a lucrative career and in finding a spouse and having children. Whereas Western parents are more focused on raising a well-rounded individual who is happy and content in their life regardless of their life choices (eg being gay, pursuing an artistic career, etc are acceptable)

You are overgeneralizing. As an American parent, I far prefer the Asian attitude you describe. I grew up being told I was going to college and graduate school and had to focus on a major that would lead to a career. My parents would never allowed art as a major.