Secret about your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is three years old and has never had a babysitter other then daycare.

We do things together on the weekends because it is the only time we have together, other then the two short hours every weekday after pick up and before bedtime.

We do not have family that can help out unless it was an emergency and that would be a burden, for them because of their own responsibilities and distance from us, about 40 minutes.

We are the same. My 4 year old has never had a sitter except for daycare. I feel like people think it's strange!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still cut my 8 year old's food. Especially in the morning when she's tired and hungry and asking her to cut her own waffles is akin to asking her to strip off her fingernails.

Me too!

[Anonymous]

I like my mildly autistic kid's personality way more than her neurotypical peers. When they were little my kid came off as somewhat odd. Now adolescence has set in and many other girls are engaging in gossip, social drama, and shallow stuff like fashion. My kid isn't. She doesn't care who said what to whom and who broke up with whose best friend and all of that. It's largely because those social dynamics confuse her but the result is that she spends her time differently and happily, and she's more interesting for an adult to be around.

[Anonymous]

More a secret about me ... My kid was a preemie and needed a NICU stay. It destroyed me. Every night I came home and sobbed myself to sleep, regretting that I had gotten pregnant and had a child.

I still feel guilty about those thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old DS comes into our bed every night in the middle of the night- usually around 2 or 3 am.

He first started around 4.5/5, and we were just so tired and thought it was a phase that would naturally pass. Initially, he also didn't do it every night.

Not it is every night. And he is 7. And he is getting bigger. And our bed is a queen size. And sometimes he is a restless sleeper.

And we're still tired. Sometimes my husband will be unable to sleep about getting pummeled and will go sleep in DS's empty bed.

Is this going to resolve itself?

It might resolve itself. But it might not. Does he know it bothers you? Have you tried to say no yet? Have you tried to reward him for sleeping until 7am in his own bed?

Put a cot in you room. Tell him that he can come into your room but he need to lay down on the cot. He will be out of that phase by the end of the week.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was sexually abbused.
She doesn't remember.

I was too. I remember and I intend to tell her the story one day. Still I'm not sure if I should tell her about her own story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How did the DD contract HIV? I would never say it IRL but this freaks me out. I saw/read something a few years ago about people adopting babies who have HIV, most of whom contracted it from their drug-addicted mothers. When my ds was in daycare he was bit three times by another baby, then bit a fourth time and she drew blood. My ped couldn't have been less concerned, as it's a "normal" part of daycare, and the thought of HIV didn't seem to cross anyone's mind. Also, think about the collisions you see in sports where at least one person ends up bleeding. Remote as the chances may be, I worry about this.

I can't believe I have to post these links, but:

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/HIV_AIDS_hepatitis_and_sport

http://www.avert.org/hiv-transmission-questions-answers.htm

HIV is much, much less virulent than other blood-borne diseases like Hepatitis, and even less so now that there are so many excellent drugs to suppress the virus. I'd be way more worried about a local infection from the bite you described, and understanding why another child was able to bite your kid four separate times, than HIV!! People fought long and hard to destigmatize HIV, remember Ryan White? Please don't undo their decades of courageous work by spreading misinformation and fear-mongering.

You're a millennial, aren't you?

Not sure how that's relevant...but to answer your question, no, I'm not.

Millennials aren't taking HIV seriously.

Seriously? Have you not made the connection that millenials are the first generation that 1. haven't been totally caught up in the "HIV = INSTANT DEATH" hype/misinformation, and 2. have seen actual research to prove that HIV is not a death sentence. Millennials are the first generation to somewhat understand HIV for what it is. Thanks science!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My almost 6 years old still wears a pull up at night or he will wake up soaking WET. We don't know any kid his age that is still wearing diapers/pullups at night. Child said he has tried but still "I pee alot at night, mom. I can't get up to go to the bathroom. I tried many times, mom. I will fall out of the bed if I try." And this is a kid that everyone says he's so well trained in manners, eating, dressing being nice. But, that has nothing to do with biological functions.
I blame it on the dumb loft bed which is high and hard to get off at night in the dark. And DH always encourage him to drink enough water...at NIGHT before bed!
But, it's not the end of the world.

My 6 1/2 year old is still in a pull-up at night, always soaks it, and leaks out of it a couple times a week. We've tried waking him to go to the bathroom before we go to bed but he's a really deep sleeper and doesn't even stir. I've offered those night training alarms but he refuses to wear one. Pediatrician says not to sweat it for now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More like a secret about me.

I stopped coming home for lunch because my son was never happy to see me and afraid it meant his nanny was leaving. He would cling on to the nanny and yell "no!".

This is totally normal and OK. I learned from my son's daycare workers and director that the parent visit is just too disruptive to their daily routine (for most kids). When they're really little, they don't know what to make of it, it makes them feel all out of whack, and they don't know how to express it. So, don't worry about this, and don't think of it as a secret. It's common!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sexually abbused.
She doesn't remember.

I was too. I remember and I intend to tell her the story one day. Still I'm not sure if I should tell her about her own story.

I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old DS comes into our bed every night in the middle of the night- usually around 2 or 3 am.

He first started around 4.5/5, and we were just so tired and thought it was a phase that would naturally pass. Initially, he also didn't do it every night.

Not it is every night. And he is 7. And he is getting bigger. And our bed is a queen size. And sometimes he is a restless sleeper.

And we're still tired. Sometimes my husband will be unable to sleep about getting pummeled and will go sleep in DS's empty bed.

Is this going to resolve itself?

Our 6 year old does this (her sister sleeps like a rock) Not every night, but when she does, my DH will usually go to the guest room to sleep the rest of the night.

Dear PP,
This was our 'secret' up until 3 weeks ago. We had tried and lost battles around this, and I became more and more ashamed and felt I couldn't raise it (clearly, I needed and need help, but that's a different story). I finally called her pediatrician, and she prescribed Melatonin (no hangover, not a 'medicine,' etc. -- but still check with doc before giving it to your DC.)

DD was able to sleep in her own bed with only one 'wake up' within 2 nights.

Next, I finally called a child psychiatrist to help with the anxiety and depression that are more recent and started after the 'can't sleep alone through the night and can't fall asleep without Mom next to me' phase. That doctor also prescribed a low dose of Zoloft while waiting for some test results around ADHD, etc.,. -- but he immediately diagnosed anxiety and believed the Zoloft might help.

Within 10 days of that, for the first time ever, DD fell asleep without me in the room.

I have been so, so embarrassed and ashamed and have felt like such a failure around these issues (again, I know I need help), but the Melatonin, particularly, made SUCH a big difference. PP, I'd talk to your pediatrician as we did and see about supports (once I started opening up about this, friends shared their similar stories and results, including sleep studies that discovered severe apnea, etc.,.) I just don't want you to feel alone. I also don't know that it will resolve itself - hence my urging to talk to your pediatrician and ask about Melatonin (over the counter).

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My almost 6 years old still wears a pull up at night or he will wake up soaking WET. We don't know any kid his age that is still wearing diapers/pullups at night. Child said he has tried but still "I pee alot at night, mom. I can't get up to go to the bathroom. I tried many times, mom. I will fall out of the bed if I try." And this is a kid that everyone says he's so well trained in manners, eating, dressing being nice. But, that has nothing to do with biological functions.
I blame it on the dumb loft bed which is high and hard to get off at night in the dark. And DH always encourage him to drink enough water...at NIGHT before bed!
But, it's not the end of the world.

My 6 1/2 year old is still in a pull-up at night, always soaks it, and leaks out of it a couple times a week. We've tried waking him to go to the bathroom before we go to bed but he's a really deep sleeper and doesn't even stir. I've offered those night training alarms but he refuses to wear one. Pediatrician says not to sweat it for now...

My niece is 7 1/2 and still wears a pull up at night. Pediatrician is not worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sexually abbused.
She doesn't remember.

I was too. I remember and I intend to tell her the story one day. Still I'm not sure if I should tell her about her own story.

So so sorry. Have you talked to a therapist about it and what to (or not) tell her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sexually abbused.
She doesn't remember.

I was too. I remember and I intend to tell her the story one day. Still I'm not sure if I should tell her about her own story.

So so sorry. Have you talked to a therapist about it and what to (or not) tell her?

I agree that you should talk to a therapist. She may not remember consciously, but it may be in her subconscious and she may have issues when she grows up. Keep a close watch on her and have a good therapist on hand who has a good rapport with your child so that when the time comes, it will be easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad my oldest is as gorgeous as she is and has great people skills because she isn't as bright and ambitious as we thought she'd be.

Let me clarify: She IS smart. She was in GT, Honors, and AP classes. But she's not scholarly or driven. People like her a lot and she's chosen a career field where being charming is an asset so she'll get by.

A kid who is in GT, Honors, and AP is smart enough to do really well in life, even if she isn't academic or curious or bright. I was the same way and went to an ivy undergrad and grad school -- bc I was motivated by what I needed on my resume to make money, not bc I was super bright or even cared about what I learned.

What do I do with a child who is very bright (smarter then parents & we have PhD's degrees in technical subjects) but is not overly motivated or ambitious? I guess that you do nothing
but provide the tools to get an education but I worry. We're waiting for her to be scholarly & driven & not throw away her gift - but that's her right I guess. She doesn't have people skills - so,
being scholarly would be what I would think would be the route, but it's not - that's why I worry. I have no idea what makes her happy & what will make her a productive member of society.
Oh well, that's the fun in parenting - right?