Secret about your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is three years old and has never had a babysitter other then daycare.

We do things together on the weekends because it is the only time we have together, other then the two short hours every weekday after pick up and before bedtime.

We do not have family that can help out unless it was an emergency and that would be a burden, for them because of their own responsibilities and distance from us, about 40 minutes.

We are the same. My 4 year old has never had a sitter except for daycare. I feel like people think it's strange!

+1 except my kid is 5. Soon he'll be old enough to just come along with us on evening outings, so I'm guessing he'll never have a sitter.

You know why couples go out together at night, right? It's actually to spend time away from their kids--not just because they are old enough to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am glad my oldest is as gorgeous as she is and has great people skills because she isn't as bright and ambitious as we thought she'd be.

Let me clarify: She IS smart. She was in GT, Honors, and AP classes. But she's not scholarly or driven. People like her a lot and she's chosen a career field where being charming is an asset so she'll get by.

This is your secret? Huh, you are praising your child.

[Anonymous]

This has been a very useful thread for me. Keeping aside the sanctimonious mom(s) and the debate about HIV, I was able to provide support to a couple of moms but more importantly found courage to consult someone about my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just a response to the older bedwetters. I wet the bed until I was 12. I was really concerned when I had children it would be the same for them so I asked a pediatrician about it when mine were younger and it's a chemical imbalance that works itself out when you hit puberty. It was an inconvenience for me and luckily my children were not bedwetters. Please be kind to your children my parents made me feel like trash about it. I was not allowed to drink anything after 5pm and when I wet the bed which was every night I could not get up. I just had to lay in the wet bed and clothes all night. Very damaging psychologically.

I'm so sorry. I also wet the bed until I was 11 or 12, and my parents were actually really cool about it. I can't imagine if they had done that. I'm also apprehensive about whether my kids will have this issue (they're still very young).

To the parents dealing with this, I also just outgrew it. I don't have any allergies, and bribing me certainly would not have worked. I was a 9, 10, 11 year old girl invited to sleepovers- no one wanted to not wet the bed more than me. All I can tell you, as someone who went through it, is to let your child know that you are willing to talk about it and to assist them in seeking a reasonable medical evaluation, but bear in mind that it may just be a matter of time. While your child can of course be responsible for cleaning up during the night and doing their own laundry (which I had to do anyway) don't try to punish or shame them out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My eldest is a delicate flower. I'm putting her in sports because I want her to learn about teamwork and sportmanship, but I am pretty sure she's a nerd and not cut out for athletics in the long run.


Debate team would teach her about teamwork and sportsmanship, but without making her feel like a failure.

You don't know yet if it will make her feel like a failure. My son is not very athletic and still has fun on his low-key rec soccer team. He's not a good player, but not terrible either, and he has a good time.

Why in the world would not being into sports make a kid feel like a failure? Many, many kids are not into sports and they are perfectly happy and successful, in school, with friends, etc.

I love nerds. So do other nerds (I'm not one). So sick of the assumption that nerds are not good enough. Sports kids bore me.

I love nerds. I hate sports kids or people. Did you know it's an American cultural thing to put down nerds? Nerds are almost revered in some other countries (like the one I grew up before coming to the US for grad studies at an ivy).

Yes, this is my experience as well. I came to the US for grad school then worked in banking for seven years. My clients and co-workers all looked down on me because I didn't understand baseball or American football. ALL they ever talked about was sports - it was just so unbelievably boring. Happy to be back in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children are good kids but boring, no juicy secrets. Unless you count my 12 year old daughter who would be mortified if her friends new she still plays with dolls, ponies, plays "house" etc. I did those things until I was a sophomore in HS, so I don't see it as a big deal. Anyhoo...


I have a childhood friend that is keeping a secret about her two children that is going to backfire spectacularly one day. They are adopted and they do not know and she intends to keep it that way. Only myself,(& my DH), her DH and her cousin know. She pretended to be pregnant both times. She is considering adopting another.

She had to tell me because she came to our reunion, not pregnant, saw her four days later in her now hometown (about 2 hours away) and she was magically in her third trimester. She said she is protecting her children by doing this. Myself, I'm staying out of it and wish I didn't know.

For real? This sounds like the plot for some really bad lifetime movie.

I agree. And that is truly terrible.

Adoptee here... This is not in ANYONE's best interest! There ought to be some kind of screen for this, like how do potential adoptive parents "feel" about adoption? Although I suppose itould be easy enough to lie.
I knew another adoptee who KNEW she was adopted, but it was a big secret, like it was shameful or sonething. Her parents encouraged her not to discuss it.
As an interracial adoptee, I suppose that was never an option for me, but... Geez. I never thought I was LESS THAN other kids or anything.
DH grew up with soneone who found out they were adopted as an infant, when thry were 13, bc just being 13 isn't already hard enough. They wound up committing suicide over it.
And pretending to be pregnant is just messed up. Your friend needs therapy, not another baby.

Yep, all real. I'm sure there is some type of disorder behind it. Worse part is now that I'm "in on it" she talks to me about it all the time. She truly feels this is best for her children.

no one bothered to tell us one of our cousins whom we were very close to was adopted until I was 11 - he told me and I told him he was lying.............. OTOH another cousin was a preemie and got to eat sugar all the time or whatever he wanted "because he was a preemie." Cannot think what my family was thinking not telling the rest of us kids earlier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad my oldest is as gorgeous as she is and has great people skills because she isn't as bright and ambitious as we thought she'd be.

Let me clarify: She IS smart. She was in GT, Honors, and AP classes. But she's not scholarly or driven. People like her a lot and she's chosen a career field where being charming is an asset so she'll get by.

This is your secret? Huh, you are praising your child.

What awful parents. How is being in AP classes not "driven"? Great social skills plus strong intelligence will take your daughter so very far in life. You seem extremely judgmental and hopefully your daughter doesn't know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My eldest is a delicate flower. I'm putting her in sports because I want her to learn about teamwork and sportmanship, but I am pretty sure she's a nerd and not cut out for athletics in the long run.


Debate team would teach her about teamwork and sportsmanship, but without making her feel like a failure.

You don't know yet if it will make her feel like a failure. My son is not very athletic and still has fun on his low-key rec soccer team. He's not a good player, but not terrible either, and he has a good time.

Why in the world would not being into sports make a kid feel like a failure? Many, many kids are not into sports and they are perfectly happy and successful, in school, with friends, etc.

I love nerds. So do other nerds (I'm not one). So sick of the assumption that nerds are not good enough. Sports kids bore me.

At least in DC at the "top" privates, participation in some kind of sport either team or club appears to be required every season. As a result, the kids get home tired at 6:30/7pm and then have to start homework. Horrible system.

I love nerds. I hate sports kids or people. Did you know it's an American cultural thing to put down nerds? Nerds are almost revered in some other countries (like the one I grew up before coming to the US for grad studies at an ivy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is three years old and has never had a babysitter other then daycare.

We do things together on the weekends because it is the only time we have together, other then the two short hours every weekday after pick up and before bedtime.

We do not have family that can help out unless it was an emergency and that would be a burden, for them because of their own responsibilities and distance from us, about 40 minutes.

We are the same. My 4 year old has never had a sitter except for daycare. I feel like people think it's strange!

+1 except my kid is 5. Soon he'll be old enough to just come along with us on evening outings, so I'm guessing he'll never have a sitter.

You know why couples go out together at night, right? It's actually to spend time away from their kids--not just because they are old enough to do so.

Some people don't feel the need to spend time away from their kid. Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad my oldest is as gorgeous as she is and has great people skills because she isn't as bright and ambitious as we thought she'd be.

Let me clarify: She IS smart. She was in GT, Honors, and AP classes. But she's not scholarly or driven. People like her a lot and she's chosen a career field where being charming is an asset so she'll get by.

This is your secret? Huh, you are praising your child.

What awful parents. How is being in AP classes not "driven"? Great social skills plus strong intelligence will take your daughter so very far in life. You seem extremely judgmental and hopefully your daughter doesn't know it.

I took AP classes and eventually earned a masters degree, but I'm not driven or scholarly either, just stubborn. So it's possible, although PP is kind of a jerk to speak about her daughter like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2.5 yr still does 3 bottles a day.

Thank G-d there's someone else. My 22 month old still has 2 and there it's the only way he'll drink milk. He LOVES those things.

2.5 year old - 2 bottles. We finally got rid of nap bottle but still have one in a.m. and one p.m. Before bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is three years old and has never had a babysitter other then daycare.

We do things together on the weekends because it is the only time we have together, other then the two short hours every weekday after pick up and before bedtime.

We do not have family that can help out unless it was an emergency and that would be a burden, for them because of their own responsibilities and distance from us, about 40 minutes.

We are the same. My 4 year old has never had a sitter except for daycare. I feel like people think it's strange!

+1 except my kid is 5. Soon he'll be old enough to just come along with us on evening outings, so I'm guessing he'll never have a sitter.

You know why couples go out together at night, right? It's actually to spend time away from their kids--not just because they are old enough to do so.

Some people don't feel the need to spend time away from their kid. Everyone is different.

There is not one person in my life that I need to spend some time apart from- even if it is just a small breK. This goes for my child, parents, friends, co-workers, etcetera.

[Anonymous]

My 8-year-old boy makes a lot of noise about being a boys' boy who hangs out with boys doing boy things, but actually he gets along with girls really well. I have even noted him to mention, in an unguarded moment, if he thinks a girl is particularly nice and smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is three years old and has never had a babysitter other then daycare.

We do things together on the weekends because it is the only time we have together, other then the two short hours every weekday after pick up and before bedtime.

We do not have family that can help out unless it was an emergency and that would be a burden, for them because of their own responsibilities and distance from us, about 40 minutes.

We are the same. My 4 year old has never had a sitter except for daycare. I feel like people think it's strange!

+1 except my kid is 5. Soon he'll be old enough to just come along with us on evening outings, so I'm guessing he'll never have a sitter.

You know why couples go out together at night, right? It's actually to spend time away from their kids--not just because they are old enough to do so.

Some people don't feel the need to spend time away from their kid. Everyone is different.

There is not one person in my life that I do not need to spend some time apart from- even if it is just a small breK. This goes for my child, parents, friends, co-workers, etcetera.

this is what i meant to say.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am glad my oldest is as gorgeous as she is and has great people skills because she isn't as bright and ambitious as we thought she'd be.

Let me clarify: She IS smart. She was in GT, Honors, and AP classes. But she's not scholarly or driven. People like her a lot and she's chosen a career field where being charming is an asset so she'll get by.

This is your secret? Huh, you are praising your child.

It's a humble brag.