dating as a 40+ single mom

[Anonymous]

Lots of different types of baggage out there. Kids grow up and leave home. The woman who isn't a mom and has baggage from a shopping addiction or daddy issues is more appealing?

[Anonymous]

I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

I've lived my life under a rock. At 33, I'd been married 18 months and had no children yet. That's a lot of living prior to age 40, to be remarried already at that point.

[Anonymous]

10:48 - people do things at different speeds. I'm from the midwest, and a lot of my friends married right after (or during) college and had kids right away. So now their kids are in college. I came out East, didn't marry and had a baby at 36, like a lot of my friends here. Some of the young marriages worked out, some didn't. Some of the later marriages will probably also fail.

Different strokes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enough. Women always have daring opportunities because men are expected to make the first move. Can were just leave it at that?

Oh, well if you say it's enough then I guess the discussion is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you'd be missing out on a lot that I, and other single moms, have to offer

I'm sorry. What, exactly, do you have to offer as a single mother that childless women don't? Do you have a golden vagina?

You're right. Nothing to offer you. Proceed with the single ladies. I will consider myself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

I've lived my life under a rock. At 33, I'd been married 18 months and had no children yet. That's a lot of living prior to age 40, to be remarried already at that point.

NP here. What is your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

I've lived my life under a rock. At 33, I'd been married 18 months and had no children yet. That's a lot of living prior to age 40, to be remarried already at that point.

You HAVE lived your life under a rock, not because you married later in life, but because you have no manners. What's wrong with you that you reprimand someone for having three kids by age 33? You think it's a character flaw for people to have kids in their twenties?

PP, congratulations with your marriage, best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found myself single again at age 33, with three kids in elementary school and more than 50% custody, and was working full time. I thought nobody would be interested in having a relationship with me. I met one guy who only was interested in casual sex and that turned me off. I ended up meeting a really fabulous man, a divorced single dad with 50% custody and after 3 years of dating he proposed and we got married about 8 months ago. There are happy endings out there.

And I bet HE wondered if love was in his future. The reality is, everybody has baggage. The great majority of people on here are not gorgeous with money to burn. People who have kids/don't have kids, fat/skinny find love and happy marriages. Wish people on here would stop talking about wide swaths of people who supposedly have no chance of finding romance. Romance is waiting to be found everywhere.

[Anonymous]

OP, some of the people I would have thought would have been the least dateable because of baggage or issues or personality (or not being attractive) or whatever have had no problem finding love. And some folks who seem like great catches have been unlucky. (I literally know a woman who has been married 4 times by age 40, and is gearing up for #5. she is nothing special to look at and has baggage galore. Meanwhile, some of my lovely friends are dateless for no apparent reason.)

I think it's kind of a crapshoot. So you should hope for the best, try to identify and eliminate any unhealthy patterns you might have, and put yourself in situations where you could meet men, whether that's online or in real life. That's about all you can do. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, some of the people I would have thought would have been the least dateable because of baggage or issues or personality (or not being attractive) or whatever have had no problem finding love. And some folks who seem like great catches have been unlucky. (I literally know a woman who has been married 4 times by age 40, and is gearing up for #5. she is nothing special to look at and has baggage galore. Meanwhile, some of my lovely friends are dateless for no apparent reason.)

I think it's kind of a crapshoot. So you should hope for the best, try to identify and eliminate any unhealthy patterns you might have, and put yourself in situations where you could meet men, whether that's online or in real life. That's about all you can do. Good luck!

And it is a crapshoot. But you have to be open to possibilities. Someone might not seem like a match when you first meet them, then by talking you realize they have some special qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, some of the people I would have thought would have been the least dateable because of baggage or issues or personality (or not being attractive) or whatever have had no problem finding love. And some folks who seem like great catches have been unlucky. (I literally know a woman who has been married 4 times by age 40, and is gearing up for #5. she is nothing special to look at and has baggage galore. Meanwhile, some of my lovely friends are dateless for no apparent reason.)

I think it's kind of a crapshoot. So you should hope for the best, try to identify and eliminate any unhealthy patterns you might have, and put yourself in situations where you could meet men, whether that's online or in real life. That's about all you can do. Good luck!

And it is a crapshoot. But you have to be open to possibilities. Someone might not seem like a match when you first meet them, then by talking you realize they have some special qualities.

+1000 if you are, you'll be amazed at the great guys you can meet who you may normally brush off or discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you'd be missing out on a lot that I, and other single moms, have to offer

I'm sorry. What, exactly, do you have to offer as a single mother that childless women don't? Do you have a golden vagina?

You're right. Nothing to offer you. Proceed with the single ladies. I will consider myself lucky.

Yeah, let me know too, I am dying to know what a single mom with baggage has over a childless woman? Better understanding of recognizing diaper rash?

[Anonymous]

I'm glad my guy loves me for who I am, instead of who I'm not.

The value-assigning PPs need to do a little growing up. I don't think they grasp the need for maturity to do the work of sustaining a relationship. That value shit went out of style a few decades ago.

[Anonymous]

I had a conversation with a single male co worker and asked him about dating a 40+ Woman with a child. He said that most guys will consider attractiveness first, then personality, then kids. He didn't think the "single mom" thing would be an issue...at least not for him. He is 34 and I am 43.