Would you be upset if parent's inheritance went to your kids instead of you?

[Anonymous]

Some ILs are just manipulative, ungrateful hags. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some ILs are just manipulative, ungrateful hags. That is all.

Hags? Sexism much?

In case you didn't notice, this thread isn't about in laws at all, or only indirectly. People don't usually leave $ to their sons- or daughters-in-law.

[Anonymous]

I think it is wonderful when grandparents leave inheritance to grandkids.

In my mind it is an acknowledgement that the parents are doing well and do not need the inheritance and the grandparents love their kids and grandkids and so want to indulge the grandkids by giving them an inheritance.

[Anonymous]

I think it is om they are leaving the inheritance to the grandkids.

In my family, this occurred because my aunt would have spent all of her kid's inheritance on cheap crap--and they desperately needed money to help with trade school and their first cars. My parents would have saved the money for us. Because of their grandparents, my cousins had a better start in their adult lives.

Hopefully, this is not the case in your family, but in many families it could happen.

[Anonymous]

"om" should be "ok"

[Anonymous]

I have not read all the responses, but I don't think it is fair to the extent that it makes the amount allocated to each child and their family unequal to another child and her family. For example, I have 1 sibling, and he has 3 kids and I have 2 kids. My parents will leave everything to my sib and I 50/50 - and if for some reason they left it to the grandkids, they would leave 50% of their estate to be split evenly between my kids (so each would get 25%) and the other 50% to be split evenly among my sib's 3 kids (so each would get ~ 18%). Compare that to DH who also has one sibling, but my IL's plan to leave everything to their grandkids which will mean that my 2 kids will each get 1/6th of their estate and my SIL's 4 kids will also each get 1/6th - but meaning it would be like they gave 1/3rd of their estate to DH and 2/3rds to his sister - that last part is what makes it unfair to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the responses, but I don't think it is fair to the extent that it makes the amount allocated to each child and their family unequal to another child and her family. For example, I have 1 sibling, and he has 3 kids and I have 2 kids. My parents will leave everything to my sib and I 50/50 - and if for some reason they left it to the grandkids, they would leave 50% of their estate to be split evenly between my kids (so each would get 25%) and the other 50% to be split evenly among my sib's 3 kids (so each would get ~ 18%). Compare that to DH who also has one sibling, but my IL's plan to leave everything to their grandkids which will mean that my 2 kids will each get 1/6th of their estate and my SIL's 4 kids will also each get 1/6th - but meaning it would be like they gave 1/3rd of their estate to DH and 2/3rds to his sister - that last part is what makes it unfair to me.

Then you should have had more kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect a penny from my mother when she dies. If she leaves anything to my DC, it will be in the form of something hurtful, like all to one and nothing to the other. I already plan on telling them that whatever they get will be split evenly, just so her toxic behavior can't reach another generation.

Leaving money to people can be manipulative and sadistic if the person doing it is manipulative and sadistic. You know your mother better than we do, OP. What do you make of her real intentions?

Does she have a lot to leave in an inheritance? Has your DH been counting on getting something when she dies, so spending more or working less than he would have otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't stand my DIL, who has been cruel to me for no apparent reason. My estate is divided into 3 equal parts - 1 part to my favorite charities, 1 part each to my son and daughter.

They can duke it out after I'm gone, but it really burns me that my bitchy DIL will benefit from my death.

Any suggestions?

You should talk to your estate planner about this. Assuming your son & his family don't need the money for immediate purposes, then I would seriously consider putting your son's share of the inheritance in a trust for his kids and make your son the custodian, and your daughter as the back up custodian. Because if it goes directly to your son, then it's an asset (or wealth) he acquired during the marriage, and as such his wife is entitled to half.

[Anonymous]

I don't care about the reasons (the only exception being if I had some kind of mental disability that would make it impossible for me to manage the money), parents leaving inheritance to anyone else than their own children is weird to me. Sure you can donate some, give something to your friends as well etc. but not thinking of your children FIRST before anyone else is completely wrong for me.

Especially if it's because your Mom doesn't like your husband. That's disgusting. Ugh. I feel sorry for you OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the responses, but I don't think it is fair to the extent that it makes the amount allocated to each child and their family unequal to another child and her family. For example, I have 1 sibling, and he has 3 kids and I have 2 kids. My parents will leave everything to my sib and I 50/50 - and if for some reason they left it to the grandkids, they would leave 50% of their estate to be split evenly between my kids (so each would get 25%) and the other 50% to be split evenly among my sib's 3 kids (so each would get ~ 18%). Compare that to DH who also has one sibling, but my IL's plan to leave everything to their grandkids which will mean that my 2 kids will each get 1/6th of their estate and my SIL's 4 kids will also each get 1/6th - but meaning it would be like they gave 1/3rd of their estate to DH and 2/3rds to his sister - that last part is what makes it unfair to me.

Grow up

[Anonymous]

I'm 23:50 - I truly don't get the response to "grow up." I would be hurt while my parents are alive if they gave some big lump sum of money to my brother and nothing to me. Or if they said they planned to leave 2/3rds of their estate to my brother and 1/3rd to me. They would never do that. But that is what it amounts to if one leaves her estate to be divided among her grandchildren, assuming her children did not have the same number of children. I am not talking about nickel and diming whether they give a nicer birthday present to one kid. Inheritence should be divided evenly among one's children unless you want to cause a lot of future family rifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 23:50 - I truly don't get the response to "grow up." I would be hurt while my parents are alive if they gave some big lump sum of money to my brother and nothing to me. Or if they said they planned to leave 2/3rds of their estate to my brother and 1/3rd to me. They would never do that. But that is what it amounts to if one leaves her estate to be divided among her grandchildren, assuming her children did not have the same number of children. I am not talking about nickel and diming whether they give a nicer birthday present to one kid. Inheritence should be divided evenly among one's children unless you want to cause a lot of future family rifts.

Inheritances should be taxed 99% just because of people like you.

Read my lips: Not your money. There is no entitlement here. There is only your parents failing to spend everything they ever saved as they should have, and deciding for their own completely not your business reasons who they want to have it after they die.

[Anonymous]

I'd be less concerned about the money (unless you are in some kind of serious financial bind that is going to put you out of a home) and more concerned about family relationships!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the responses, but I don't think it is fair to the extent that it makes the amount allocated to each child and their family unequal to another child and her family. For example, I have 1 sibling, and he has 3 kids and I have 2 kids. My parents will leave everything to my sib and I 50/50 - and if for some reason they left it to the grandkids, they would leave 50% of their estate to be split evenly between my kids (so each would get 25%) and the other 50% to be split evenly among my sib's 3 kids (so each would get ~ 18%). Compare that to DH who also has one sibling, but my IL's plan to leave everything to their grandkids which will mean that my 2 kids will each get 1/6th of their estate and my SIL's 4 kids will also each get 1/6th - but meaning it would be like they gave 1/3rd of their estate to DH and 2/3rds to his sister - that last part is what makes it unfair to me.

Wow. You are one greedy person to be doing this kind of math about money that is not yours and that you did not earn. Your kids should be grateful for anything that anyone gives them, not nickel and diming what they get vs. what other people get.

This is why inherited wealth is no good for anyone.