why do so many of you expect family to help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't think PPs are angry. I think they do not respect you one bit because you can't even raise your own children. Can you tie your own shoes?

LOL, you are NUTS.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge difference between asking grandma to babysit on the occasional Friday night date night and leaving your kids with grandma every day while you go to work. The second is not fair to grandma or the kid. When grandparents are forced into a parenting role every day, they no longer get to be grandparents. Your kids don't get to experience that wonderful grandparent relationship.

My parents adore their grand kids. My mother had me when she was 23. I was 23 when I had my first. She is a very young, energetic, healthy grandmother. I would still never ask her to keep my kids every day. Just not fair. She raised her children. She deserves to relax and enjoy being grandma, not a full time child care provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge difference between asking grandma to babysit on the occasional Friday night date night and leaving your kids with grandma every day while you go to work. The second is not fair to grandma or the kid. When grandparents are forced into a parenting role every day, they no longer get to be grandparents. Your kids don't get to experience that wonderful grandparent relationship.

My parents adore their grand kids. My mother had me when she was 23. I was 23 when I had my first. She is a very young, energetic, healthy grandmother. I would still never ask her to keep my kids every day. Just not fair. She raised her children. She deserves to relax and enjoy being grandma, not a full time child care provider.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not that difficult for you pp. But the people I know definitely take advantage of any family nearby. And they don't want to hear that others know about it, that's for sure.

Mind your own damned business anyway! Jeez.

are you going to stomp upstairs and slam your door because someone called you out? what are you, about 13? 14?

No. A grown adult educated professional woman who is taking care of my kid everyday. Every once in a while, a friend or a family member will watch my child for me so that I can go out and have some time to myself or with my husband. I happily reciprocate. Why this bothers people like you, and why YOU are reacting like a 12 year old, is simply beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you that go on about being "blessed" and that you family members love to do stuff for you, I hope they can say the same about you. But I'd venture probably not, as these people are usually so used to getting, that they can't be bothered to give.

Why are you so angry? Why do you need to assume the worst in people? Don't you have anything better to do with your time than worry about other people's family dynamics? Get a life.

I don't think you're able to gauge anger accurately. As PP said, it's has more to do with respect. It's hard to respect people who have such a sense of entitlement when it comes to expecting family members to take care of your adult self and your children.

I don't think you're able to gauge the degree to which those of us who enjoy warm and caring relationships with family and friends could not care less about having your respect.

[Anonymous]

The date night crap is nothing more than trying to lay a guilt trip on family or friend. Hire a damn babysitter and you are married, so dste at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The date night crap is nothing more than trying to lay a guilt trip on family or friend. Hire a damn babysitter and you are married, so dste at home.

You're joking right? Lol I'm sorry you have a family where people hate spending time with your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The date night crap is nothing more than trying to lay a guilt trip on family or friend. Hire a damn babysitter and you are married, so dste at home.

You're joking right? Lol I'm sorry you have a family where people hate spending time with your children.

Original PP of this nonsense is a jealous, hateful mommy martyr who needs a life. I don't feel sorry for trolls like this. They reap what they sow.

[Anonymous]

Meh, my MIL wasn't such a great mom. I don't expect her to miraculously turn into grandmother of the year. She has her own issues that she never dealt with. Of course, all of that happened before I came along anyway, so I have nothing to do with it. I have no responsibility for someone else not being a great (or even good) mother. I am not a professional psychiatrist, so I can not treat her, but it is pretty obvious she has issues.

Why would I push it? If MIL would rather stay at home by herself, so be it. It really is her problem. She visits occasionally, the grandchildren barely know her, but that has nothing to do with me. Am I supposed to "make her" visit more often? I don't think so. We step up and pay people handsomely if we have a babysitter.

It is those with family in the area that try to steal other peoples hard earned sitters (for a pittance, one proposal for absolutely no pay, "because we pay her so well" - WHAT??!!) that I have a problem with. And I will let you know that, without regret.

If you wear out your family, don't come barking up my tree. Babysitters are extremely hard to find, and if you did not already realize that, you would not be trying to steal mine.

[Anonymous]

This whole discussion is sick. Why is it frowned upon to join together as a family and share resources and save money. Who cares about the "wonderful grandparent relationship" if they are willing and able to care full time and save you thousands in child care?! Honestly, why do you care what anyone else does?! Go ahead and gladly pay $2000 a month for someone to take care of your kids and STFU!

[Anonymous]

Good thing PP is not angry about it. Her mom must be exhausted!

[Anonymous]

And you must be broke!