Did I act like a jerk in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

But he didn't, and he really wasn't obligated to. Maybe he had already done a good deed for the day, and didn't want to do another.

Maybe money is tight for him, and paying extra for some leg room was a huge splurge for him. Not everyone considers $40-$60 a small amount of money.

Maybe OP was acting entitled, spoiled, snarky and rude (she doesn't say she was any of those things, but she doesn't really say that she wasn't either.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

The question posed in the title is "did I act like a jerk in this situation?" Thus, the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

But he didn't, and he really wasn't obligated to. Maybe he had already done a good deed for the day, and didn't want to do another.

Yes, yes, of course. He wasn't obligated to switch seats. Still, the nice thing to do would have been to switch seats. Do people here acknowledge that this would have been the nice thing to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

The question posed in the title is "did I act like a jerk in this situation?" Thus, the answer.

Exactly. No, maybe he didn't do a "good deed", but he wasn't a jerk, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In order to answer tge question many are aaking about whether I paid extra for the seat, i have to reveal that i was the pregnant lady in this scenario. I framed the post differently to avoid the nastiness and ridicule about me being nervous as a FTM on my first flight pregnant, and wanting to sit next to DH.
So, i dont know if the guy paid extra for the seat but I didn't -- i iust "lucked into it," as a PP said. So perhaps he did, too.

Also, as soon as we realized that we were not seated totether, we tried to change it at both check-in AND at the gate, and both times we were advised to just ask a fellow passenger to switch.

Obviously, i feel that the guy was not required to change seats, but that it would have been the classy and kind thing to do. I certainly would have done it if i had been asked.

Okay as to your scenario revision in your original post - it's an odd, but harmless manipulation - but this post is nastily manipulative. And as for the man who's the focus of your ire: he had very likely paid extra for his seat, the extra legroom was obviously important to him, and he was polite in declining your husband's request. Just because people ask doesn't mean they're owed a positive response. You do know that, don't you? And about the couple who were traveling together - why no anger at them for refusing to switch seats with you? Why do they get the free pass? The logic that decides the lone passenger isn't "classy" for giving up his seat should condemn them, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, yes, of course. He wasn't obligated to switch seats. Still, the nice thing to do would have been to switch seats. Do people here acknowledge that this would have been the nice thing to do?

Yes.

"Jerk or not" is a different question from "would you ever do something nice, if you didn't stand to gain anything in return?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In order to answer tge question many are aaking about whether I paid extra for the seat, i have to reveal that i was the pregnant lady in this scenario. I framed the post differently to avoid the nastiness and ridicule about me being nervous as a FTM on my first flight pregnant, and wanting to sit next to DH.
So, i dont know if the guy paid extra for the seat but I didn't -- i iust "lucked into it," as a PP said. So perhaps he did, too.

Also, as soon as we realized that we were not seated totether, we tried to change it at both check-in AND at the gate, and both times we were advised to just ask a fellow passenger to switch.

Obviously, i feel that the guy was not required to change seats, but that it would have been the classy and kind thing to do. I certainly would have done it if i had been asked.

Okay as to your scenario revision in your original post - it's an odd, but harmless manipulation - but this post is nastily manipulative. And as for the man who's the focus of your ire: he had very likely paid extra for his seat, the extra legroom was obviously important to him, and he was polite in declining your husband's request. Just because people ask doesn't mean they're owed a positive response. You do know that, don't you? And about the couple who were traveling together - why no anger at them for refusing to switch seats with you? Why do they get the free pass? The logic that decides the lone passenger isn't "classy" for giving up his seat should condemn them, as well.

I'm late to the party here, in that I'm just now realizing that the OP is actually the pregnant woman in question. So, OP, can you explain what exactly you were nervous about during the flight? How pregnant are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In order to answer tge question many are aaking about whether I paid extra for the seat, i have to reveal that i was the pregnant lady in this scenario. I framed the post differently to avoid the nastiness and ridicule about me being nervous as a FTM on my first flight pregnant, and wanting to sit next to DH.
So, i dont know if the guy paid extra for the seat but I didn't -- i iust "lucked into it," as a PP said. So perhaps he did, too.

Also, as soon as we realized that we were not seated totether, we tried to change it at both check-in AND at the gate, and both times we were advised to just ask a fellow passenger to switch.

Obviously, i feel that the guy was not required to change seats, but that it would have been the classy and kind thing to do. I certainly would have done it if i had been asked.

Okay as to your scenario revision in your original post - it's an odd, but harmless manipulation - but this post is nastily manipulative. And as for the man who's the focus of your ire: he had very likely paid extra for his seat, the extra legroom was obviously important to him, and he was polite in declining your husband's request. Just because people ask doesn't mean they're owed a positive response. You do know that, don't you? And about the couple who were traveling together - why no anger at them for refusing to switch seats with you? Why do they get the free pass? The logic that decides the lone passenger isn't "classy" for giving up his seat should condemn them, as well.

I'm late to the party here, in that I'm just now realizing that the OP is actually the pregnant woman in question. So, OP, can you explain what exactly you were nervous about during the flight? How pregnant are you?

OP said she's afraid of plane crash.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't matter how pregnant she is because it's utterly irrelevant that she's pregnant at all. SHE was accommodated in her seat. It's her HUSBAND who wanted a change in seats. It does not make someone less classy to politely decline and say why. By OP's reasoning here, her husband should have been able to go up to the guy and say "get out. I'm sitting here now." Because if he can't decline, what in the hell is the point in asking?

[Anonymous]

OP, it was rude even to ask for an accommodation you don't need. It makes it less likely that people who do need a seat, or a seat with more legroom, will be offered one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter how pregnant she is because it's utterly irrelevant that she's pregnant at all. SHE was accommodated in her seat. It's her HUSBAND who wanted a change in seats. It does not make someone less classy to politely decline and say why. By OP's reasoning here, her husband should have been able to go up to the guy and say "get out. I'm sitting here now." Because if he can't decline, what in the hell is the point in asking?

No, OP wanted her husband near her because she was afraid of flying. This is still about OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I neglected to mention something about the whole thing - at the time when DH asked the man if he would mind switching, neither of us realized that I (and the man) was seated in the 'economy plus' legroom seats or whatever. (as a PP mentioned, there isn't much difference between those seats and regular seats. If we had realized that my row had extra legroom (even though it's such a slight increase in space that it hardly makes a difference), we probably would not have asked the man if he would mind switching.
But anyway, now I would like to ask you - suppose that The man and I had been seated in a regular row. In your opinion, would it have still been rude to ask him to switch? And if we did ask in that scenario, and he did decline, does your opinion change with respect to his refusal? It would have been an aisle seat to aisle seat switch, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No . . . The classy thing to do would have been to choose other options and to allow the gentleman next to you to sit peacefully during his two hour flight.

The classy thing to do would have been to exercise your options and not to have burdened the man beside you. You could have made your flight reservations well enough in advance that your seats would have been together. You could have upgraded to first class and sat together or you could have waited for a later flight. Or today you could demonstrate some class yourself and recognize that you had other options in which you didn't choose and you could stop blaming others for your sense of entitlement.

You know, sometimes people have to book a flight last minute and there aren't any more seats together. You sound like a grade A asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why didn't you offer to switch with the person seated next to your husband in the row without the extra space?

This has been covered. 3 seat row, 2 people sitting next to the husband were a couple. We done now?