Did I act like a jerk in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I neglected to mention something about the whole thing - at the time when DH asked the man if he would mind switching, neither of us realized that I (and the man) was seated in the 'economy plus' legroom seats or whatever. (as a PP mentioned, there isn't much difference between those seats and regular seats. If we had realized that my row had extra legroom (even though it's such a slight increase in space that it hardly makes a difference), we probably would not have asked the man if he would mind switching.
But anyway, now I would like to ask you - suppose that The man and I had been seated in a regular row. In your opinion, would it have still been rude to ask him to switch? And if we did ask in that scenario, and he did decline, does your opinion change with respect to his refusal? It would have been an aisle seat to aisle seat switch, BTW.

Regardless of what kind of row you are seated in: You are not rude to ask him to switch, and he is not rude for refusing. Let. It. Go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

Sadly, I think it does. At least in these parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In order to answer tge question many are aaking about whether I paid extra for the seat, i have to reveal that i was the pregnant lady in this scenario. I framed the post differently to avoid the nastiness and ridicule about me being nervous as a FTM on my first flight pregnant, and wanting to sit next to DH.
So, i dont know if the guy paid extra for the seat but I didn't -- i iust "lucked into it," as a PP said. So perhaps he did, too.

Also, as soon as we realized that we were not seated totether, we tried to change it at both check-in AND at the gate, and both times we were advised to just ask a fellow passenger to switch.

Obviously, i feel that the guy was not required to change seats, but that it would have been the classy and kind thing to do. I certainly would have done it if i had been asked.

Why didn't you get assigned seats when you bought the tickets?

NP here. There are a lot of angry and misinformed people posting on this thread. Like the OP, I'm pregnant. I also have one child. My family and I buy Economy Plus whenever possible - or I suppose I should say "bought Economy Plus" because I will do everything I can to avoid flying on United in the future.

To the PP above: please read the Travel forum of DCUM. You will see threads in which people complain about airlines reassigning seats. This happens all the time. I'm sure OP and her husband purchased seats together. My family and I purchase seats together. Airlines change planes assigned to specific flights, and you don't know about it until you go to check in and they've put you, your husband, and your child in three separate parts of the plane. In middle seats - so good luck getting passengers to switch. We recently had this happen to us when we had purchased Economy Plus in advance. They simply bumped us out of Economy Plus and separated the three of us in coach, in middle seats. It was an absolute nightmare to deal with. In the end the gate agent was able to put us all back into Economy Plus (there WERE seats left but United somehow had decided to bump us) and luckily DC was finally seated next to me. Husband was a couple of rows back.

OP, honestly, I'm not sure if I would have switched in your specific situation. If it had been your child you were separated from, I would have in a heartbeat as long as my own child was able to sit next to DH or me. I'm very sorry this happened to you. Please be aware that it can be even more unpleasant when you have a child. Airline travel has become almost unbearable, and purchasing seats together does not guarantee you will sit together, even if you have a small child.

And while I agree that there was a lot of nastiness in this thread, you should see the Travel forum thread in which many posters scream "special snowflake" and other lovely DCUM buzzwords at parents who were upset that their small children (like three-year-olds) were separated from them. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/250499.page

Yes, all the while insisting that THEIR children are perfect and that they are perfect parents. No end to the vitriol and hypocrisy on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

And if we did ask in that scenario, and he did decline, does your opinion change with respect to his refusal? It would have been an aisle seat to aisle seat switch, BTW.

No. You are certainly entitled to ask, but he doesn't have to do it, and he's not a jerk for declining to. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on a flight recently. I was sitting in coach, in an aisle seat, in one of the rows with seats that have just a tad more leg room (they're called 'premium' or economy plus or something like that). A pregnant woman was sitting next to me. Turns out that her husband was a few rows back; for some reason they didn't have seats together. The husband, who was also in an aisle seat, said to me something like, 'excuse me, would you mind switching seats with me so that i can sit with my wife? this is her first flight pregnant.' I pointed to my legs and said apologetically, "this seat has extra leg room...." The husband said, 'oh okay' and went back to his seat. What do you think? Was it kind of jerky to me not to move? The flight was about 2 hours.

I think so, yes. It was two hours out of your life and I'm sure that woman would have appreciated sitting next to her husband. Think twice next time and try to be more considerate.

I disagree with this, and especially the last snarky comment. Why didn't the woman offer to move back to sit with her husband? Answer - she was sitting in a row with more leg room, and didn't want to give it up - I'm sure whomever was in the middle seat next to her husband would have gladly taken a seat with extra room. If she really wanted to sit next to her husband, she could have moved, but thought the extra room was more important. Why doesn't the same apply to the OP (whether s/he paid extra for the seat or not)?

Note - my answer woudl have been different if is was a parent asking to sit next to a child. But these are two adults - I view that as totally different.

I am the PP you are attacking and hey dipshit, OP already said multiple times that the two people sitting next to her husband were traveling together and the man sitting next to her was alone. Do try to keep up before you spout off, okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I neglected to mention something about the whole thing - at the time when DH asked the man if he would mind switching, neither of us realized that I (and the man) was seated in the 'economy plus' legroom seats or whatever. (as a PP mentioned, there isn't much difference between those seats and regular seats. If we had realized that my row had extra legroom (even though it's such a slight increase in space that it hardly makes a difference), we probably would not have asked the man if he would mind switching.
But anyway, now I would like to ask you - suppose that The man and I had been seated in a regular row. In your opinion, would it have still been rude to ask him to switch? And if we did ask in that scenario, and he did decline, does your opinion change with respect to his refusal? It would have been an aisle seat to aisle seat switch, BTW.

Regardless of what kind of row you are seated in: You are not rude to ask him to switch, and he is not rude for refusing. Let. It. Go.

This.
But this wasn't the situation you were in. Right? And he WAS aware of where he was seated. So apples to oranges. You might not have cared, but he obviously did, enough to pay extra most likely. Should we now go through all 8,326 scenarios that might have happened so that you find some where you come out wronged?? OP, you weren't. You asked. He declined. Case over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter how pregnant she is because it's utterly irrelevant that she's pregnant at all. SHE was accommodated in her seat. It's her HUSBAND who wanted a change in seats. It does not make someone less classy to politely decline and say why. By OP's reasoning here, her husband should have been able to go up to the guy and say "get out. I'm sitting here now." Because if he can't decline, what in the hell is the point in asking?

No, OP wanted her husband near her because she was afraid of flying. This is still about OP.

Well, gee. I'm afraid of flying. The airline should give me a free glass of wine. What? They won't? BASTARDS. How dare they not understand that I'm afraid to fly. I asked nicely even.

[Anonymous]

Either way, extra 2 inches or not, guy was not obligated to give up seat and was not mean in not doing so. OP he wasn't a jerk, but if you think he was a jerk because he said no, you are not being very nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

Sadly, I think it does. At least in these parts.

It boils down to what gives your life meaning:
- getting the most goodies, and premium economy seats, you can, or
- your impact on others.

I think lots of people have answered the second one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

Sadly, I think it does. At least in these parts.

It boils down to what gives your life meaning:
- getting the most goodies, and premium economy seats, you can, or
- your impact on others.

I think lots of people have answered the second one.

The second one? Sadly, most people here choose the FIRST one. Every man for himself is what these people say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter how pregnant she is because it's utterly irrelevant that she's pregnant at all. SHE was accommodated in her seat. It's her HUSBAND who wanted a change in seats. It does not make someone less classy to politely decline and say why. By OP's reasoning here, her husband should have been able to go up to the guy and say "get out. I'm sitting here now." Because if he can't decline, what in the hell is the point in asking?

No, OP wanted her husband near her because she was afraid of flying. This is still about OP.

Well, gee. I'm afraid of flying. The airline should give me a free glass of wine. What? They won't? BASTARDS. How dare they not understand that I'm afraid to fly. I asked nicely even.

I burst out laughing when I read this. Thanks, PP.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I neglected to mention something about the whole thing - at the time when DH asked the man if he would mind switching, neither of us realized that I (and the man) was seated in the 'economy plus' legroom seats or whatever. (as a PP mentioned, there isn't much difference between those seats and regular seats. If we had realized that my row had extra legroom (even though it's such a slight increase in space that it hardly makes a difference), we probably would not have asked the man if he would mind switching.
But anyway, now I would like to ask you - suppose that The man and I had been seated in a regular row. In your opinion, would it have still been rude to ask him to switch? And if we did ask in that scenario, and he did decline, does your opinion change with respect to his refusal? It would have been an aisle seat to aisle seat switch, BTW.

No, OP, it's not rude to ask, nor is it rude for him to decline. It doesn't matter what row or what type of seat. He didn't want to move and that is OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading some of the responses here makes me feel like crying for our society. There are so few people left who will do something for the simple reason that it's a nice thing to do for another person. It's all about me, me me, it's my "right," etc.
I hope that this forum doesn't represent society as a whole.

Sadly, I think it does. At least in these parts.

It boils down to what gives your life meaning:
- getting the most goodies, and premium economy seats, you can, or
- your impact on others.

I think lots of people have answered the second one.

Oh please. People are certainly entitled to enjoy a flight in whatever comforts they have somehow managed to eek out of the rotten situation that has become flying without being scolded about the meaning of life for crying out loud.

[Anonymous]

OP, yes I do think it matters if you are asking someone to give up a better seat to accomodate you. When I fly and am not seated with DH (and we had a lap child) we would figure out which of us had the "better" seat to give up (i.e. aisle or closer to the front). We would then ask the person sitting next to the one of us with the inferior seat if he or she wanted to switch (to the aisle seat or seat closer to the front). I've never had anyone say no they didn't want this better seat.

I would NOT ask someone to move to a shittier seat to accomodate me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not jerky. Even if you didn't pay more for the seat. Pregnant or not, it won't kill a husband and wife to sit apart for 2 hours.

Nobody's suggesting that this was a life or dearh situation. BUT, if the man wanted to do a good deed, he would have switched.

But he didn't, and he really wasn't obligated to. Maybe he had already done a good deed for the day, and didn't want to do another.

Yes, yes, of course. He wasn't obligated to switch seats. Still, the nice thing to do would have been to switch seats. Do people here acknowledge that this would have been the nice thing to do?

Is it nice for the man to have sore knees?