Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Because having that many kids is irresponsible and bad for everyone. Just because your fringe religion dictates it doesnt make it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Because having that many kids is irresponsible and bad for everyone. Just because your fringe religion dictates it doesnt make it right.

How is it bad for society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Kids need more than money, they need your time. How much time do each of those 8 kids get? Your older ones should not be parenting and deserve their own childhoods. How much 1-1 time does each kid get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

Sure, could happen. But I think it's unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

How much household help do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

How much household help do you have?

Quite a lot, but my husband and I do all the childcare.

[Anonymous]

I'm an anti-social introvert working part time with only one kid, but I find it hard sometimes. Child is very much an extrovert and talks constantly. I'm also an intensive parent (Suzuki instrument lessons once or twice per week, regional orchestra, sports, language) and no-screens at home. I honestly can't imagine having 3! I don't think I complain about it, but chat and empathize in social settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

I have yet to meet a very large family where this is true, particularly for the girls. They are expected to look after the younger children and take on the household chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

What do you consider 1-1 time? Whose helping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

How much household help do you have?

Quite a lot, but my husband and I do all the childcare.

If you have a ton of help you cannot pretend it’s easy and you are doing it all when you are not. Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

I have yet to meet a very large family where this is true, particularly for the girls. They are expected to look after the younger children and take on the household chores.

I understand that that’s a fairly common thing in large families but ours is an exception. It wasn’t like that in my family growing up and isn’t like that now for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an anti-social introvert working part time with only one kid, but I find it hard sometimes. Child is very much an extrovert and talks constantly. I'm also an intensive parent (Suzuki instrument lessons once or twice per week, regional orchestra, sports, language) and no-screens at home. I honestly can't imagine having 3! I don't think I complain about it, but chat and empathize in social settings.

You could but they’d all have to be in the same activities or less or dump them for fake carpools on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Yikes. WHY?

We’re religious.

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.

Sure, could happen. But I think it's unlikely.

Of course the kids are either helping or lots of paid help or kids are ignored to deal with it themselves and parents are in denial.