Scott Galloway how to save teenage boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading all this stuff people post, but I am not seeing it in real life. None of the boys I know are like this at all.

Wealthy boys are still getting so much help that they are not facing the consequences of a level playing field.

There is no such thing as a level playing field. Holding some boys back to advance girls isn't level.

[Anonymous]

I have a teen boy and I’m skeptical of that statistic that 45% of young men under 29 have never asked a girl out. My son and his friends are basically the geek squad and they mostly have girlfriends or have at least asked girls out.

I do think that the slower maturation of boys brain creates challenges given the increasing competition out there. When I went to school, there were a lot of guys who were late bloomers in executive function and had mediocre grades as a result but were still able to get into good colleges. Now those same schools require basically straight As plus lots of ECs. There just isn’t the same space for boys or girls to sort of float along from ages 14-16 figuring themselves out.

I think another big problem that needs more attention is less frustration tolerance and “grit” in boys. They get discouraged easily. I think girls sort of expect criticism more than boys. Boys are more likely to get defensive and upset rather than retrenching and adjusting when they fall short. I don’t think this is unique to American boys — I’ve seen this in a lot of cultures. I think maybe in part because moms still provide a lot of the early years care of children and moms are often unintentionally more critical of and instructive of daughters. But maybe there’s a hormone component to it as well—since people on testerone tends to be even more defensive, maybe the teen boy hormone stuff plays a role here. But I think this lack of grit and frustration tolerance is a big part of why some boys are falling behind or are feeling more discouraged.

I also agree with a PP that the entire social contract is falling apart and girls also are feeling stress about that but are maybe a little better in thinking flexibly about different alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading all this stuff people post, but I am not seeing it in real life. None of the boys I know are like this at all.

Wealthy boys are still getting so much help that they are not facing the consequences of a level playing field.

Help in what way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Curious why you think teaching boys appropriate behavior is bad for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a teen boy and I’m skeptical of that statistic that 45% of young men under 29 have never asked a girl out. My son and his friends are basically the geek squad and they mostly have girlfriends or have at least asked girls out.

I do think that the slower maturation of boys brain creates challenges given the increasing competition out there. When I went to school, there were a lot of guys who were late bloomers in executive function and had mediocre grades as a result but were still able to get into good colleges. Now those same schools require basically straight As plus lots of ECs. There just isn’t the same space for boys or girls to sort of float along from ages 14-16 figuring themselves out.

I think another big problem that needs more attention is less frustration tolerance and “grit” in boys. They get discouraged easily. I think girls sort of expect criticism more than boys. Boys are more likely to get defensive and upset rather than retrenching and adjusting when they fall short. I don’t think this is unique to American boys — I’ve seen this in a lot of cultures. I think maybe in part because moms still provide a lot of the early years care of children and moms are often unintentionally more critical of and instructive of daughters. But maybe there’s a hormone component to it as well—since people on testerone tends to be even more defensive, maybe the teen boy hormone stuff plays a role here. But I think this lack of grit and frustration tolerance is a big part of why some boys are falling behind or are feeling more discouraged.

I also agree with a PP that the entire social contract is falling apart and girls also are feeling stress about that but are maybe a little better in thinking flexibly about different alternatives.

I think the young ones who haven't been married yet (and even some who have) know that it is still socially acceptable to fall back on relying on a man financially if they have to. Yes this is 2025, but most young men do not feel that is socially acceptable for them.

I live in a working class area similar to where I grew up. In the 1990s the boys who went to the regional/directional public universities are the same boys in the 2020s who are skipping college and going straight to working for their dads or uncle's local or regional businesses because the cost of higher ed is so much more. Many more girls are going to college because high school worked better for them than the boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Wasn't school always like this? Or even more strict than now? Boys were able to do this in school before - what changed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading all this stuff people post, but I am not seeing it in real life. None of the boys I know are like this at all.

There are problems with the tiger mom / striver culture in the DC area, but one thing about keeping your kid over scheduled is that they can’t fall into the internet hole. I know a kid like Scott describes and he didn’t do a single extracurricular activity in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Wasn't school always like this? Or even more strict than now? Boys were able to do this in school before - what changed?

My boys go to classical school and they can sit still because their (mostly male) teachers let them be rowdy during recess and also play sports and do outside science classes etc. their attitude is yeah, your kid may break a bone, who cares. We are 100% for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Wasn't school always like this? Or even more strict than now? Boys were able to do this in school before - what changed?

My boys go to classical school and they can sit still because their (mostly male) teachers let them be rowdy during recess and also play sports and do outside science classes etc. their attitude is yeah, your kid may break a bone, who cares. We are 100% for it.

Also there are no screens. Zero. They use paper and pencil and write in cursive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Wasn't school always like this? Or even more strict than now? Boys were able to do this in school before - what changed?

My boys go to classical school and they can sit still because their (mostly male) teachers let them be rowdy during recess and also play sports and do outside science classes etc. their attitude is yeah, your kid may break a bone, who cares. We are 100% for it.

Also there are no screens. Zero. They use paper and pencil and write in cursive.

So... it isn't society or those crazy liberal women, but rather how they're being raised and taught? Hold on, I'm taking notes over here the next time someone blames their son's hurt feelings on my very existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading all this stuff people post, but I am not seeing it in real life. None of the boys I know are like this at all.

Wealthy boys are still getting so much help that they are not facing the consequences of a level playing field.

There is no such thing as a level playing field. Holding some boys back to advance girls isn't level.

Nobody is holding boys back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading all this stuff people post, but I am not seeing it in real life. None of the boys I know are like this at all.

Wealthy boys are still getting so much help that they are not facing the consequences of a level playing field.

There is no such thing as a level playing field. Holding some boys back to advance girls isn't level.

But my daughter cant get ahead otherwise!!!!

[Anonymous]

Kids can still play soccer and tag in public school, it just has to stop if it gets too intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically, it’s increased competition, and I don’t think young American men are taught to fight for their spot.

This is on all of us parents then. I’m teaching mine and they are just fine.

I'm not tainting mine with the ideas that all masculinity is toxic. They can be who they are and I'm not going to hamstring them or emasculate them so they can't compete.

Not all masculinity is toxic. That's why the word toxic is there. The problem is the Neanderthals who think the only way to show masculinity is pounding their chests and being a dbag.

The line has been blurred where masculinity crosses the line into toxic, so that normal behavior is called toxic. It starts early on in elementary school. Mustn't let the boys get too rowdy on the playground!

I get it but getting too “rowdy” is a liability for the school if someone gets hurt

And there you have it. No games, no fun, limit recess, sit still, be quiet, someone might get hurt. No throwing balls, no kicking balls, no tag, just stand and be quiet.

Wasn't school always like this? Or even more strict than now? Boys were able to do this in school before - what changed?

My boys go to classical school and they can sit still because their (mostly male) teachers let them be rowdy during recess and also play sports and do outside science classes etc. their attitude is yeah, your kid may break a bone, who cares. We are 100% for it.

Also there are no screens. Zero. They use paper and pencil and write in cursive.

Bullshit on the cursive.