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[quote=Anonymous]I have a teen boy and I’m skeptical of that statistic that 45% of young men under 29 have never asked a girl out.  My son and his friends are basically the geek squad and they mostly have girlfriends or have at least asked girls out.

I do think that the slower maturation of boys brain creates challenges given the increasing competition out there.  When I went to school, there were a lot of guys who were late bloomers in executive function and had mediocre grades as a result but were still able to get into good colleges.  Now those same schools require basically straight As plus lots of ECs.  There just isn’t the same space for boys or girls to sort of float along from ages 14-16 figuring themselves out.

I think another big problem that needs more attention is less frustration tolerance and “grit” in boys.  They get discouraged easily.  I think girls sort of expect criticism more than boys.   Boys are more likely to get defensive and upset rather than retrenching and adjusting when they fall short.  I don’t think this is unique to American boys — I’ve seen this in a lot of cultures.  I think maybe in part because moms still provide a lot of the early years care of children and moms are often unintentionally more critical of and instructive of daughters.  But maybe there’s a hormone component to it as well—since people on testerone tends to be even more defensive, maybe the teen boy hormone stuff plays a role here.  But I think this lack of grit and frustration tolerance is a big part of why some boys are falling behind or are feeling more discouraged.

I also agree with a PP that the entire social contract is falling apart and girls also are feeling stress about that but are maybe a little better in thinking flexibly about different alternatives.  [/quote]

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