Boyfriend told me to “shut the F up”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

It’s so obvious to people in healthy relationships. I don’t allow men to treat me this way. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years. He has never spoken to me like this. No one should put up with this. There are many many men who love and appreciate women. Do not spend a single minute more with men who show you that they hate you and do not respect you.

-a pp who hates men without seeing the irony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

I swear all the time. I have a mouth like a sailor. I do not target my significant other with that language. There is a time and a place and your intimate partner is not it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

I swear all the time. I have a mouth like a sailor. I do not target my significant other with that language. There is a time and a place and your intimate partner is not it.

The point stands: he did a stupid, he acknowledges this, he apologized.

If you expect perfection from everyone you share space with, well, good luck being alone. There's a time and a place for a second chance, and this is exactly what it looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

It is not hard to find people who don’t behave this way.

For values of "this way" equalling "did something someone didn't like. once."

That's literally everyone, but go off...

Amazing how most people here are able to find partners who have never done the particular behavior, not even once.

But best of luck finding a partner who will tolerate your nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

It is not hard to find people who don’t behave this way.

100%!!
These men are invested in op believing that all men do this, all men behave like AHs and we have to accept it. They aren’t!! We don’t!! There ARE good men out there OP. I wish so badly for you to find one. The men saying this are telling on themselves - making it easy to avoid. You just need to know the signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

Yeah some of these people have no grace, and probably don't apologize when they're the ones in the wrong (because they're never wrong).

This isn't worth the level of nastiness some of these pps are spewing about it. Lots of triggered people in this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

Yeah some of these people have no grace, and probably don't apologize when they're the ones in the wrong (because they're never wrong).

This isn't worth the level of nastiness some of these pps are spewing about it. Lots of triggered people in this thread!

Typical "cancel culture" crap. HE MADE ONE MISTAKE! THROW HIM IN THE BIN!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

It’s so obvious to people in healthy relationships. I don’t allow men to treat me this way. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years. He has never spoken to me like this. No one should put up with this. There are many many men who love and appreciate women. Do not spend a single minute more with men who show you that they hate you and do not respect you.

-a pp who hates men without seeing the irony

Not at all, I love men. I married an amazing one. I raised great ones. I encourage OP to find a great man and not settle with people who disrespect her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

It is not hard to find people who don’t behave this way.

For values of "this way" equalling "did something someone didn't like. once."

That's literally everyone, but go off...

Amazing how most people here are able to find partners who have never done the particular behavior, not even once.

But best of luck finding a partner who will tolerate your nonsense.

Right? This person clearly behaves horrifically and expects to be tolerated or even praised for it. No wonder he’s a weirdo single dude posting on a mommy site…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

It is not hard to find people who don’t behave this way.

100%!!
These men are invested in op believing that all men do this, all men behave like AHs and we have to accept it. They aren’t!! We don’t!! There ARE good men out there OP. I wish so badly for you to find one. The men saying this are telling on themselves - making it easy to avoid. You just need to know the signs.

all PEOPLE sometimes act like AHs, men and women alike. You don't have to blindly "accept" it; nobody's suggesting that. But if you can't account for the flawed humanity of humans, well, I sure hope you're perfect. But you're not. Nobody is.

Doing something stupid doesn't make him a "bad man". That's so ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Inexcusable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP came in hot with the know-it-all posturing, got clapped back, and had to come to DCUM where all the misandrists would join her pile-on instead of helping her correct the core of the problem: her stupid choice to tell her boyfriend what to do about things she doesn't even fully comprehend and wasn't asked to provide advice about.

Just drink your own beer and mind your own business, OP. In short: STFU.

Stay away from women. You aren’t a safe person.

Stay away from people, period. I doubt women are the only people PP bullies. Anyone deemed less than probably hears about it on a regular basis.

Excellent point. This person is an equal opportunity abuser. Men, women, children, animals prob. Terrifying to know they could be our neighbors or coworkers.

This judgmental harpy could be your neighbor.

You don't even know pp by name, but feel comfortable labeling them an abuser? Because... they disagree?

You need to step back and analyze your own nastiness, creepo. Calm your life down, and recognize that people who disagree with you are allowed to exist. Your need to control everyone, label those who disagree, and ostracize anyone who doesn't lockstep with your nonsense makes you the problem.

People who defend abusers are abusers themselves. No need for a name. Stop justifying abuse and people will stop calling you an abuser.

So anyone who has ever sworn once while upset is an abuser, but the namecallers aren't abusers because THEY are justified.

Okay. Sure. That makes perfect sense.

Swearing in general =/= swearing at your partner.
Your failure to grasp basic concepts about decency is concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about marriage is that it’s long and sometimes bad stuff/mistakes happen. Some mistakes are inexcusable. This is something that if a one off and out of character you can forgive. The fact that he apologized right away and has otherwise been kind is a good sign. Let him know, he doesn’t get a second chance at this. Then see what happens. A second time and you should be out.

That is giving him a second chance. No second chance means op breaks up with him the first time. If she sticks around, there will be a next time. If she doesn't want a bad relationship, she needs to find someone else.

Why shouldn't he get a second chance? He said one swear, once, and when confronted, apologized?

Who are all the perfect people posting on this thread like they've never done something stupid? Y'all are liars.

It is not hard to find people who don’t behave this way.

For values of "this way" equalling "did something someone didn't like. once."

That's literally everyone, but go off...

Amazing how most people here are able to find partners who have never done the particular behavior, not even once.

But best of luck finding a partner who will tolerate your nonsense.

Your partner who never swore at you probably cheats. Or gambles. Or drinks/uses drugs. Or doesn't do their share of the housework. Or gossips. Or...

Congratulations on the fact that your partner (allegedly, on the internet) never swears at you (yet). Your partner has flaws.

But yeah, they tolerate your nonsense, which is basically the whole point, clownshoes.