Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP

[Anonymous]

My mom didn't feel like she had much of a choice in the 80s but says she wishes she'd done it differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

The type of woman who attracts a man who earns seven figures is usually well educated. Most of the women I know married to successful men were also successful in their careers. I gave up my career to stay home with my kids. I didn’t expect to stay home. I didn’t expect to miss my baby so much when I was at work at my demanding job. I went expecting the juggling of kids and a career to be so difficult, especially when your husband has a very demanding job. I really hated leaving my baby with a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are already in school. That’s the point when people go back, not quit. Why do you want to give up your salary to sit at home while your kids are at school?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

The type of woman who attracts a man who earns seven figures is usually well educated. Most of the women I know married to successful men were also successful in their careers. I gave up my career to stay home with my kids. I didn’t expect to stay home. I didn’t expect to miss my baby so much when I was at work at my demanding job. I went expecting the juggling of kids and a career to be so difficult, especially when your husband has a very demanding job. I really hated leaving my baby with a nanny.

🙄

Or she just got lucky. Doubt he was making 7 figures in his 20s.

And plenty of the women who get lucky find their husbands trade in for a younger model. Tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

The type of woman who attracts a man who earns seven figures is usually well educated. Most of the women I know married to successful men were also successful in their careers. I gave up my career to stay home with my kids. I didn’t expect to stay home. I didn’t expect to miss my baby so much when I was at work at my demanding job. I went expecting the juggling of kids and a career to be so difficult, especially when your husband has a very demanding job. I really hated leaving my baby with a nanny.

🙄

Or she just got lucky. Doubt he was making 7 figures in his 20s.

And plenty of the women who get lucky find their husbands trade in for a younger model. Tale as old as time.

Np. She did get lucky. There are many well educated women with careers who do not have spouses earning 2 mil.

It doesn't change the fact that many women married to high earning spouses are well educated and had good careers before deciding to SAHP.

Doctors marry doctors. Attorneys marry attorneys, and so on. This is very common. Some will remain dual income, and some will have one partner step back once there are children in the picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

[Anonymous]

Worked part-time, then ramped up to full time as kids got older. We live in NYC, they didn't need me for rides and my commute was 25-30 each way.
I am not in any principal roles at the companies I worked for. It was good to stay productive in both home life and work life.

[Anonymous]

It’s really amazing to me that so many smart and well educated women seem to believe that the only way to be intellectually engaged is by working some job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

+1

Adult women still wanting gold stars for how “impressive” they (think) their jobs or educations are need to grow TF up.

OMG you went to an IVY?! You’re a LAWYER?! Great! Nobody actually gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

+1

Adult women still wanting gold stars for how “impressive” they (think) their jobs or educations are need to grow TF up.

OMG you went to an IVY?! You’re a LAWYER?! Great! Nobody actually gives a shit.

You don’t care, but lots of people do care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

+1

Adult women still wanting gold stars for how “impressive” they (think) their jobs or educations are need to grow TF up.

OMG you went to an IVY?! You’re a LAWYER?! Great! Nobody actually gives a shit.

You don’t care, but lots of people do care.

Yes - immature, emotionally stunted, insecure losers care. And I couldn’t care less what those type of people think about literally *anything*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

+1

Adult women still wanting gold stars for how “impressive” they (think) their jobs or educations are need to grow TF up.

OMG you went to an IVY?! You’re a LAWYER?! Great! Nobody actually gives a shit.

You don’t care, but lots of people do care.

Yes - immature, emotionally stunted, insecure losers care. And I couldn’t care less what those type of people think about literally *anything*.

These conversations generally devolve into name calling. I imagine some of it is due to the fact that so many of us are identified by whether we work or stay home, and that so many of us feel that our choice in this area both reflects our values and that our choices are driven by circumstances somewhat beyond our control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It annoys me when the “seven figure DH” SAHMs parachute in bc because for them, it wasn’t much of a choice. Since they’re not into having careers, then they weren’t giving up much.

Do you understand that being home isn’t giving something up? Being at home with your children is a gain for many. To be with them, to share experiences with them, to ensure that your values are being instilled in them. When they are sick they can stay at home until they are fully well. If they have an interest you get to help them explore it and develop it. For many people is it a joyous pursuit not just a sacrifice for the kids.

I don’t think the previous two posts are necessarily at odds. They are both saying the same thing—that [most] women who stopped working really weren’t into their careers in the first place.

It’s a much bigger sacrifice/trade off (whatever word you wanted to use) when you’ve had an impressive education and career track to match that.

This is a silly argument. I have an “impressive” education but I like staying home. Women at all education and career tracks will have varying preferences re: working or being home with kids. They also have varying household income realities and as well as expectations.

+1

Adult women still wanting gold stars for how “impressive” they (think) their jobs or educations are need to grow TF up.

OMG you went to an IVY?! You’re a LAWYER?! Great! Nobody actually gives a shit.

You don’t care, but lots of people do care.

Yes - immature, emotionally stunted, insecure losers care. And I couldn’t care less what those type of people think about literally *anything*.

These conversations generally devolve into name calling. I imagine some of it is due to the fact that so many of us are identified by whether we work or stay home, and that so many of us feel that our choice in this area both reflects our values and that our choices are driven by circumstances somewhat beyond our control.

Jesus Christ.

If you judge a person based on their job title or the perceived prestigiousness of their college education, you’re an insecure loser. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom didn't feel like she had much of a choice in the 80s but says she wishes she'd done it differently.

I’m an 80s kid and don’t know a single SAHM.