Hookup Culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By the way, why are some of you assuming that “hook up culture” automatically means college students are having sex?

“Hook up” means different things to different people. I hooked up with a lot of guys in college. But only had sex with a few. But others may define it differently. As long as they’re happy, intentional, and safe, I don’t see any problems. (I’m the “no regrets” poster above.)

Also, why are people assuming “hook up culture” means hooking up with different kids each weekend or strangers/kids they don’t know and never see again? A lot of campus hook up culture is a step below (or leading to) dating - repeat encounters with fewer expectations and less of a commitment than dating.

In other words, it’s not always drunken, random sex with a stranger. Nor is it always regret-inducing. I genuinely think a lot of people on this thread are talking past each other because they’re talking about different things.

I can't speak for anyone else on this thread but the OP said her daughter is hooking up with different guys every weekend. Though I agree with you that a hookup doesn't always mean sex, I think the implication sex or not, the people involved are in an intimate situation which puts them in vulnerable positions. Think issues around consent. This unfortunately happens more often than people would like to believe.

I think the situations where hookups turn into relationships seem to result from a serial hookup that leads to friendship, trust and eventually a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Can someone please just start a list of best hookup schools? I’d like to know. Tulane has to be on it, right? Any others? Making my college list. Thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here:
Any guy that has an issue with a womans number is just insecure. It’s not a good look for you.

+1000

Women don't have to be transparent about how many guys deposited their DNA in her, and yet they want guys to be transparent about their finances before getting into a serious relationship, right?

Any guys with good look, status, money, and options will NOT take a woman who had 25 guys DNA in her. He does not want to be #26.

You’re gross. You’d be lucky to have any of these women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the guys out there imposing arbitrary thresholds for female body counts…you do realize you we give you…”approximate” numbers when you ask? As in divide real number by favorite prime?

Why lie if it's not a big deal? Personally, I would be honest for the get go so I don't end up with someone with different values than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here:
Any guy that has an issue with a womans number is just insecure. It’s not a good look for you.

+1000

Women don't have to be transparent about how many guys deposited their DNA in her, and yet they want guys to be transparent about their finances before getting into a serious relationship, right?

Any guys with good look, status, money, and options will NOT take a woman who had 25 guys DNA in her. He does not want to be #26.

You’re gross. You’d be lucky to have any of these women.

I don't think talking about it is nearly as gross as, you know...

And I doubt PP would consider themselves lucky. This is why honesty early on is so important - imagine ending up with someone with their views as a result of downplaying things. Not a good ending for either party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here:
Any guy that has an issue with a womans number is just insecure. It’s not a good look for you.

Well yes, naturally low status men are inclined to endorse female promiscuity as it increases their chances to gain sexual access to women.

lol at your ‘low status". I guarantee you that’s not the case, I feel bad for your spouse if you’re that insecure.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s okay for a parent to discuss morales and ethical relationships with their child. Meaning, it’s okay for you to have an opinion. That is in part how children build their own worldview, from hearing from parents and other elders. It’s tricky now only because it’s sound like you didn’t earlier? Which is not a failing by any means I’m not criticizing you. But I think that is why it’s now awkward that your daughter has made different choices and by your own words you are acting like it’s okay. You’ve sort of misled her about your views on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hooking up with a different guy every weekend? as in FULL hookup?

gross!

I have two college sons who are D1 athletes at P4 schools. They told me that they are sleeping with different women every few days because women want them. Many of these women get passed around by athletes. My sons told me they will sleep with these women, but no serious relationship with them because of their sexual activities.

is this in the South? no surprise that women like the BMOCs/jocks, but it is somewhat disheartening that women are acting this way. Personally would not want my athlete sons going to a school where the women are not looking to get to know them as people, not objects - hard pass imo

PP here. They are both at UVA.

Who the hell brags about their sons getting their dicks wet, AND names the school? 2 brothers, both athletes at UVA? I bet I could find who they are easily. Not sure they’d be happy about mommy bragging about their sexual exploits on the internet.

+1 really weird thing to be bragging about. I have news for you UVA athlete mom/dad, it may all be fun and games right now but I have a fourth year Dd at UVA and no one goes near those guys anymore. Yeah the girls AND the guys go a little crazy first year but you better believe that as they get older, it’s not only the girls who end up with a bad reputation. My Dd has a friend who is a football player who was all that first year and now no normal (not drunk) girls will go near him. He even acknowledges and regrets that he created a terrible reputation for himself. Now that he wants a relationship, no one trusts him.

DS was a D1 lacrosse player. We didn’t encourage it, but it was clear he had benefits that never seemed to expire throughout undergrad. Inexplicably, he seems to have the same powers as a single guy in ny. Wife starting to get increasingly annoyed but letting him do his thing for now.

And the girls you’d want him to marry are not with him. I’m 100% sure that he had a reputation as a player in college and he still does post grad. I’m glad you clarified that you’re the dad because no one else would be proud of this.

[Anonymous]

Let’s be real, how many people look back on their college years and say I wish I had a lower body count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hooking up with a different guy every weekend? as in FULL hookup?

gross!

I have two college sons who are D1 athletes at P4 schools. They told me that they are sleeping with different women every few days because women want them. Many of these women get passed around by athletes. My sons told me they will sleep with these women, but no serious relationship with them because of their sexual activities.

is this in the South? no surprise that women like the BMOCs/jocks, but it is somewhat disheartening that women are acting this way. Personally would not want my athlete sons going to a school where the women are not looking to get to know them as people, not objects - hard pass imo

PP here. They are both at UVA.

Who the hell brags about their sons getting their dicks wet, AND names the school? 2 brothers, both athletes at UVA? I bet I could find who they are easily. Not sure they’d be happy about mommy bragging about their sexual exploits on the internet.

+1 really weird thing to be bragging about. I have news for you UVA athlete mom/dad, it may all be fun and games right now but I have a fourth year Dd at UVA and no one goes near those guys anymore. Yeah the girls AND the guys go a little crazy first year but you better believe that as they get older, it’s not only the girls who end up with a bad reputation. My Dd has a friend who is a football player who was all that first year and now no normal (not drunk) girls will go near him. He even acknowledges and regrets that he created a terrible reputation for himself. Now that he wants a relationship, no one trusts him.

DS was a D1 lacrosse player. We didn’t encourage it, but it was clear he had benefits that never seemed to expire throughout undergrad. Inexplicably, he seems to have the same powers as a single guy in ny. Wife starting to get increasingly annoyed but letting him do his thing for now.

And the girls you’d want him to marry are not with him. I’m 100% sure that he had a reputation as a player in college and he still does post grad. I’m glad you clarified that you’re the dad because no one else would be proud of this.

Exactly. You were his role model. You who are calling the women he is using his “benefits.” You see him as having special “powers” .

You sound sickly proud and almost jealous.

One can only hope he doesn’t use his powers to get AIDS.

It seems highly unlikely that they will land him a quality life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hooking up with a different guy every weekend? as in FULL hookup?

gross!

I have two college sons who are D1 athletes at P4 schools. They told me that they are sleeping with different women every few days because women want them. Many of these women get passed around by athletes. My sons told me they will sleep with these women, but no serious relationship with them because of their sexual activities.

I think you went astray raising these young men.

They don’t see women as equal humans. They use them for their body parts .

I would be very disappointed if my sons were like yours.

Let’s be clear. Your sons wish they were getting that action rather than having to play video games on Saturday night.

You sound sadly immature (if you are a parent.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here:
Any guy that has an issue with a womans number is just insecure. It’s not a good look for you.

Well yes, naturally low status men are inclined to endorse female promiscuity as it increases their chances to gain sexual access to women.

lol at your ‘low status". I guarantee you that’s not the case, I feel bad for your spouse if you’re that insecure.

Lol, A man who spends his free time on a mommy forum. Be serious.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone wants to date or be in a relationship while in college. The students hooking up every weekend - both men and women - presumably know what they are doing. But human nature being what it is, the more promiscuous students - again, both men and women - are generally not going to be seen as dateable. Which is fine. But for a lot of students these days finding a partner is very much on their minds. According to my college kids, online dating is for losers. And since college offers the best opportunity to find a partner in real life, they try to stay in the dateable zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here:
Any guy that has an issue with a womans number is just insecure. It’s not a good look for you.

Well yes, naturally low status men are inclined to endorse female promiscuity as it increases their chances to gain sexual access to women.

lol at your ‘low status". I guarantee you that’s not the case, I feel bad for your spouse if you’re that insecure.

Lol, A man who spends his free time on a mommy forum. Be serious.

You seem miserable. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone wants to date or be in a relationship while in college. The students hooking up every weekend - both men and women - presumably know what they are doing. But human nature being what it is, the more promiscuous students - again, both men and women - are generally not going to be seen as dateable. Which is fine. But for a lot of students these days finding a partner is very much on their minds. According to my college kids, online dating is for losers. And since college offers the best opportunity to find a partner in real life, they try to stay in the dateable zone.

This. The trend is changing. Dating apps (tinder, hinge, etc) are no longer as popular and the younger generation are now seeking real connections to be in relationships. Even in HS, the kids who freely hook up are viewed negatively and are considered undatable.