DUI and Death on Harrison

[Anonymous]

Make sure your kids have Uber accounts and know they are to use them. Put your card on the account if need be or set up a teen account. Wouldn’t you rather your kid get home safely and have to get the car in the am via a friend than drive drunk?

A kid is dead, his friend is in jail, and the other 3 in the car must be in a state of shock. This is a tragic and terrible situation that could have been prevented. Tell your kids about this so it doesn’t repeat itself year after year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really the worst of DCUM, pointing fingers and exposing the name of the barely 18 year old who is at fault. Yes, technically I guess there is no reason not to since it's public information, but I would say that common decency would dictate that people recognize that these are actually people whose lives have been irrevocably changed. Can we take a few days to let the community mourn before we tear each other apart blaming parents? Many, if not most, of our children will be exposed to dangerous circumstances. Maybe not DUI, but there are pills at parties, sexual assaults, muggings, fraternity hazings, etc. It does nobody any good to have a bunch of parents up on their soapboxes preaching about how it couldn't be their children.

That “kid” killed his friend. He knew what he was doing. He has a high school diploma and he’s in college - that means he knew exactly what he was doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we’re talking about underage drinking, I’m curious to know what coaches are doing about it. Do athletes actually follow the no substance rules, or is it all with a wink and a nod and just laughing it off as a rite of passage? Also, what behavior is being modeled at home?

The athletes are the biggest drinkers. The coaches do nothing. That’s reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another uncomfortable conversation is parent drinking. Kids see the hypocrisy in a parent telling his kid not to drink and then pouring himself a glass of wine. To unwind. Or to celebrate. Or to deal with stress. But parents don’t want to stop drinking so they just have to hope their kids buy into the “do as I say, not as I do” expectation we’re setting for them.

For every parent on here saying they’ve given their kids a standing offer of a no questions asked ride, how many other parents out there might be a couple of drinks in themselves if they got the late night call?

Nailed it.

The alcohol culture among adults and parents is dangerous, and it's being passed on to kids. The cutesy jokey memes, signs & home decor, the attitude of drinking to escape is a big American issue, and kids are picking up on those messages without realizing the dangers and risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really the worst of DCUM, pointing fingers and exposing the name of the barely 18 year old who is at fault. Yes, technically I guess there is no reason not to since it's public information, but I would say that common decency would dictate that people recognize that these are actually people whose lives have been irrevocably changed. Can we take a few days to let the community mourn before we tear each other apart blaming parents? Many, if not most, of our children will be exposed to dangerous circumstances. Maybe not DUI, but there are pills at parties, sexual assaults, muggings, fraternity hazings, etc. It does nobody any good to have a bunch of parents up on their soapboxes preaching about how it couldn't be their children.

I don’t see it that way. It’s not it couldnt be our kids. It’s people scared this could be their kid and probably some folks taking a hard look at their own kids and the culture we all collectively allow. Sorry some of us aren’t comfortable with whoopsy doodle it was a mistake could happen to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another uncomfortable conversation is parent drinking. Kids see the hypocrisy in a parent telling his kid not to drink and then pouring himself a glass of wine. To unwind. Or to celebrate. Or to deal with stress. But parents don’t want to stop drinking so they just have to hope their kids buy into the “do as I say, not as I do” expectation we’re setting for them.

For every parent on here saying they’ve given their kids a standing offer of a no questions asked ride, how many other parents out there might be a couple of drinks in themselves if they got the late night call?

Nailed it.

The alcohol culture among adults and parents is dangerous, and it's being passed on to kids. The cutesy jokey memes, signs & home decor, the attitude of drinking to escape is a big American issue, and kids are picking up on those messages without realizing the dangers and risks.

I think it’s this and parents don’t want their kids to be left out if they are socially in groups that underage drink, which yes is the “cool” kids. It’s all part of some lure of this is what it means to be an American teenager living the dream and no one wants to be the wet blanket. Even if you feel uneasy with parts of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another uncomfortable conversation is parent drinking. Kids see the hypocrisy in a parent telling his kid not to drink and then pouring himself a glass of wine. To unwind. Or to celebrate. Or to deal with stress. But parents don’t want to stop drinking so they just have to hope their kids buy into the “do as I say, not as I do” expectation we’re setting for them.

For every parent on here saying they’ve given their kids a standing offer of a no questions asked ride, how many other parents out there might be a couple of drinks in themselves if they got the late night call?

Nailed it.

The alcohol culture among adults and parents is dangerous, and it's being passed on to kids. The cutesy jokey memes, signs & home decor, the attitude of drinking to escape is a big American issue, and kids are picking up on those messages without realizing the dangers and risks.

+ 1. This is what is actually ginning up hahaha isn’t it funny? the gross reaction of some of the moms here. Oooh no who is anyone to judge??? F’ing babyish self-centered repulsive point of view and SO common. Omg the driver and his parents, think of their heartbreak!! How about NO. How about adding other considerations and looking at causal factors too?

The point about ensuring your kids have Uber accounts they know how to use is a very good one. It still won’t keep aholes like the Ole Miss driver off the goddamned road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many adults in this community enable and look the other way and normalize a high school drinking culture. Most kids aren’t a part of it but the ones who are, everyone knows it. That’s just how it is and for those of you getting your first window into it, you should be shocked. Don’t let that feeling wear off.

Terrible tragedy for all those affected.

This. In my neighborhood the parents don't care on whit that their kid is coming home drunk in 8th grade. They also smoke pot almost completely out in the open. They barely hide it from their parents. My neighbor's kid has been driving at 50mph in our residential street with the parents outside watching doing nothing. There are definitely more parents who believe their children never do wrong even when they do terrible things in front of them.

I have a current 8th grader at an APS middle school and I’m not seeing anything like this at all. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’m curious about the neighborhood. I’m in one of the NA neighborhoods whose elementary school is routinely roasted. And I don’t drink or smoke anything, so it’s not a matter of being too blitzed myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hope the community comes together and insists on more effective law enforcement efforts to combat underage drinking. The consequences for grown ups who enable this need to be severe.

Do you know if Arlington County does DUI checkpoints? Perhaps more enforcement of existing DUI laws is needed before it gets to this. Also I wonder if this driver has any DUIs. So many times when someone is killed it comes out that the driver has been caught drinking and driving before.

Gosh, what a sad story. 2 kids lives are over because of this. 1 is still here physically, but I can’t imagine carrying around this level of guilt for the rest of my life and mourning a friend on top of it all.

[Anonymous]

Is it the same poster coming in (with similar pejorative language each time tbh) pointing and blaming the kids involved here?

I have talked to my kid about drinking and drugs, and offered to provide a ride under any circumstances, before this happened, and offered kid to use me as a scapegoat or excuse in any possible situation. And in general my kid scoffs at alcohol use and, for that matter, isn't yet old enough to drive. As parents we don't in any way sponsor underage drinking. THAT SAID, I have also been a child and I understand that children sometimes get into situations that they did not anticipate and do not always correctly problem solve their way out of. And I totally understand the other feeling in this thread of this could happen to my kid on a very bad day, and they'd be dead or would have to live with it the rest of their life. And I have compassion for all involved. Not sure why the more judgmental person/people in this thread are not grokking that. Even the very unfortunate students who were in the car but were not driving made the bad decision to get into the car. Lots of kids have made those very awful decisions, and I'm not sure what benefit you're getting from calling these 18 and 19 year olds names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sheer stupidity of driving drunk.

Two weekends ago, I witnessed a non fatal, single driver DUI accident on my street. It was very upsetting. Driver went to jail. Car totaled all air bags deployed. I had to call rescue.

It was a mistake. You can't know when you are too drunk to drive.

Tell it to the judge. Enjoy prison.

This is so idiotic. I am not a DCUM teetotaler, I like drinking and have definitely overindulged. Not once have I gotten behind the wheel of a car with anything more than maybe one normal beer consumed over a meal in my system. If you want to drink, plan your transportation accordingly.

What exactly is idiotic re thinking drunk drivers should be in prison? Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many adults in this community enable and look the other way and normalize a high school drinking culture. Most kids aren’t a part of it but the ones who are, everyone knows it. That’s just how it is and for those of you getting your first window into it, you should be shocked. Don’t let that feeling wear off.

Terrible tragedy for all those affected.

This. In my neighborhood the parents don't care on whit that their kid is coming home drunk in 8th grade. They also smoke pot almost completely out in the open. They barely hide it from their parents. My neighbor's kid has been driving at 50mph in our residential street with the parents outside watching doing nothing. There are definitely more parents who believe their children never do wrong even when they do terrible things in front of them.

I have a current 8th grader at an APS middle school and I’m not seeing anything like this at all. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’m curious about the neighborhood. I’m in one of the NA neighborhoods whose elementary school is routinely roasted. And I don’t drink or smoke anything, so it’s not a matter of being too blitzed myself.

+1

My kids are still in elementary school but we have a lot of tween/teens in the neighborhood and a few babysit for us and I am not seeing any of this behavior in 22205. Not saying the kids never sneak and do anything wrong, but there is no obvious loitering/group parties, speeding, drunk driving etc. in our neighborhood.

Also, many of the parents around here have jobs with clearances or just avoid drugs anyway and drink socially on occasion. My kids know that DH and I have a drink once in a blue moon, but we’ve had a lot of talks about how it can affect your judgment and they’ve never so much as seen us drink a beer and drive home because we don’t drink and drive. So I’m curious where these “cool parents” allowing boozy parties and kids out all night live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really the worst of DCUM, pointing fingers and exposing the name of the barely 18 year old who is at fault. Yes, technically I guess there is no reason not to since it's public information, but I would say that common decency would dictate that people recognize that these are actually people whose lives have been irrevocably changed. Can we take a few days to let the community mourn before we tear each other apart blaming parents? Many, if not most, of our children will be exposed to dangerous circumstances. Maybe not DUI, but there are pills at parties, sexual assaults, muggings, fraternity hazings, etc. It does nobody any good to have a bunch of parents up on their soapboxes preaching about how it couldn't be their children.

He's an adult. Teach your children that too. At 18, no longer any special treatment from the law, EVEN in Arlington. Stop being an apologist. Drill it into your kids' heads: at 18, you're in the big time, actions have consequences, you are an adult.

[Anonymous]

I do think it’s possible to have empathy for all involved and also have a strong opinion about who is at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really the worst of DCUM, pointing fingers and exposing the name of the barely 18 year old who is at fault. Yes, technically I guess there is no reason not to since it's public information, but I would say that common decency would dictate that people recognize that these are actually people whose lives have been irrevocably changed. Can we take a few days to let the community mourn before we tear each other apart blaming parents? Many, if not most, of our children will be exposed to dangerous circumstances. Maybe not DUI, but there are pills at parties, sexual assaults, muggings, fraternity hazings, etc. It does nobody any good to have a bunch of parents up on their soapboxes preaching about how it couldn't be their children.

All those acts tend to be done by reckless spoiled sh!t boys with mommies just like you. Yes omg the drunk drivers life has changed. He killed someone and is lucky only in that he didn’t kill more people. Grow up. Grow TF UP. You’re all solipsistic f’ing monsters.

I think you are the reckless one. Either one of these boys could have been ANY OF OUR KIDS. Everyone knows what should have been done differently. But, to make assumptions about a mom you don't know, when you know nothing about the child or the families is disgusting. Well, who seems like the monster now.