I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We attended a party today where everyone brought siblings. This was an elementary party. Entire families came. Siblings were crying. The party was close by to our school. Invitation said parents could drop off.

Do families just not know any better?

What in the non sequitur?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

No parent that cares about their kid would drop off at Chuck E Cheese. What's the problem with her sitting outside of the party like a regular customer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

It's presumptuous to assume there is another parent available. It's presumptuous to think this place is close to their house and commuting to and from is easy and unproblematic. It's presumptuous to think that every parent feels conformable with an unknown adult "watching" their kid at a busy venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

It's presumptuous to assume there is another parent available. It's presumptuous to think this place is close to their house and commuting to and from is easy and unproblematic. It's presumptuous to think that every parent feels conformable with an unknown adult "watching" their kid at a busy venue.

sigh. It's not that hard. "Sorry, Larlo can't make it because i'm solo parenting this weekend!". Host can then reach out and say no it's ok bring other kid too, or offer to let Larlo carpool with them or whatever. Or host can say "sorry you can't make it". Not having other plans for your other kid does not mean they're invited!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

You are rude, and the reason why you haven't been turned away is host is gracious. We had a party recently- the venue had a MAX CAPACITY. Anything over a certain amount of children we had to pay $20 per child, and they had an absolute limit on the number of kids. One mom showed up with a sibling, and assumed sibling could be at party. I wasn't going to be rude, so I didn't say anything. But the problem was, if everyone there brought siblings, the venue would have stopped the party because we would have been over capacity. It was not fair to the other parents who respected the rules, who may have been wondering why does that kid get to bring a sibling and we arranged not to bring ours? So yes, I didn't turn them away- but I thought it was rude they brought the sibling (and this is someone with a spouse).

Not all bday parties are in a backyard in the summer. Please keep in mind that many gym spaces and party venues have max capacities or that the host pays per child. Almost every child in my kindergartners class has a sibling, some have two. So NO, we are not going to invite all the siblings and it is completely obnoxious of you to think they come as a set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

You are rude, and the reason why you haven't been turned away is host is gracious. We had a party recently- the venue had a MAX CAPACITY. Anything over a certain amount of children we had to pay $20 per child, and they had an absolute limit on the number of kids. One mom showed up with a sibling, and assumed sibling could be at party. I wasn't going to be rude, so I didn't say anything. But the problem was, if everyone there brought siblings, the venue would have stopped the party because we would have been over capacity. It was not fair to the other parents who respected the rules, who may have been wondering why does that kid get to bring a sibling and we arranged not to bring ours? So yes, I didn't turn them away- but I thought it was rude they brought the sibling (and this is someone with a spouse).

Not all bday parties are in a backyard in the summer. Please keep in mind that many gym spaces and party venues have max capacities or that the host pays per child. Almost every child in my kindergartners class has a sibling, some have two. So NO, we are not going to invite all the siblings and it is completely obnoxious of you to think they come as a set.

I just had a party and told a twin mom that I would let her twin come if we had space. Turns out we were over our maximum and told the twin mom the other twin could not come.

I invited the entire class.

Next year, I will not invite the entire class. We will have a smaller party with my kid’s friends. I don’t think she or I would want younger siblings tagging along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

You are rude, and the reason why you haven't been turned away is host is gracious. We had a party recently- the venue had a MAX CAPACITY. Anything over a certain amount of children we had to pay $20 per child, and they had an absolute limit on the number of kids. One mom showed up with a sibling, and assumed sibling could be at party. I wasn't going to be rude, so I didn't say anything. But the problem was, if everyone there brought siblings, the venue would have stopped the party because we would have been over capacity. It was not fair to the other parents who respected the rules, who may have been wondering why does that kid get to bring a sibling and we arranged not to bring ours? So yes, I didn't turn them away- but I thought it was rude they brought the sibling (and this is someone with a spouse).

Not all bday parties are in a backyard in the summer. Please keep in mind that many gym spaces and party venues have max capacities or that the host pays per child. Almost every child in my kindergartners class has a sibling, some have two. So NO, we are not going to invite all the siblings and it is completely obnoxious of you to think they come as a set.

Does the sibling even know the birthday child?

If a kid is in a class with a classmate, that classmate may have never met this sibling or not know the sibling at all. Why should this sibling come to a party where they don’t know the birthday child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

Single mom here on a tight schedule…now what?

Hire a babysitter or decline invitation for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

Then don't come or drop off! Why is that concept so hard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

Single mom here on a tight schedule…now what?

Hire a babysitter or decline invitation for your kid.

Plenty of parents decline or don’t even RSVP because of siblings. I have had people say Johnny can’t come because his sister has a volleyball game. Many people give no excuse at all.

I have told host we can’t make it because I have other child. Some people say being sibling. Others say nothing and accept your no. I haven’t done this for years since kids have been drop off ages. If 10-15 kids are invited, we usually know at least half or often all the kids. It is very easy to get a ride for my child. If I don’t know many/any people, I have asked birthday child’s parent to take my child and they do! We have only done this once and the birthday child’s mom was already taking 4 other kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm annoyed at birthday hosts who don't shut down siblings. It makes it uncomfortable for the parents who DIDN'T bring siblings. A lot of time the younger siblings aren't well behaved/don't play the same way as the older kids/can't participate in games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

Single mom here on a tight schedule…now what?

So many options! Make a friend in your child's class so you can carpool and take turns going to parties and watching kids, decline, hire a sitter, drop off.... Surely you can't think the only answer is bring the uninvited child and burden the host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

It's presumptuous to assume there is another parent available. It's presumptuous to think this place is close to their house and commuting to and from is easy and unproblematic. It's presumptuous to think that every parent feels conformable with an unknown adult "watching" their kid at a busy venue.

sigh. It's not that hard. "Sorry, Larlo can't make it because i'm solo parenting this weekend!". Host can then reach out and say no it's ok bring other kid too, or offer to let Larlo carpool with them or whatever. Or host can say "sorry you can't make it". Not having other plans for your other kid does not mean they're invited!

It's also not hard to sit outside the party and order your own pizza at a public venue. YOU are making this hard and stupid.