Why dating became so hard 😔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You see the conflicting responses on here.

Some men saying if a woman doesn’t have sex within the first few dates, then something is wrong with them. And they lose interest.

Some men saying if a woman does want to have sex right away, then something’s wrong with them. And they lose interest.

So the balanced approach seems to be for the woman to show she’s interested in some ways.
As PP man suggested, I do offer to plan a date 4 or 5, might get tickets for an event etc when I’m interested in him but undecided yet to which extent.

Not that I have a great deal of post divorce experience but when I reach the point when I have a real physical interest I just invite him over for dinner. I’m a good cook too so that helps as does being in my own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If i like a man and see him at least 3 times, I try to create a comfortable setting to have a make-out session (without sex but certainly with me undressing to nice lingerie). It's important for me to see if he's turning me on, and other way around, before continue seeing each other. Why waste everyone's time?

Sex is usually a month in, usually 6-7 dates and after I verified he's single, doesn't have criminal history, know where he works, and after I visited his home (again ,to verify he lives alone and is transparent).

Not sure how a woman can even have sex safely with anyone on date 1-2

I’m sorry but if you strip down to nice lingerie the expectation will be very high that sex is in the offing. You can certainly “just say no” but he will be surprised. I’m all for a heavy kissing session and maybe some groping but I’m not stripping down to my undies as part of it. I save that for the main event.

I would want to see a man stripped down to briefs before I decide on sex. Sometimes I invite dates for a gym workout with swimming together for that specific purpose. Seeing him in trunks either stimulates or eliminates my desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Of course there is no way to evaluate for STD. As a woman I tell after couple weeks of seeing each other regularly (2-3 times a week, texts/calls every day, nice combos) that I have my test available. Men who want sex “get” this and ask for the list of items I want to see

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to have sex with a guy right away, please don't.

Wait until you are ready.

This is a collective action problem. If more women waited, men would have to be more ok with waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Of course there is no way to evaluate for STD. As a woman I tell after couple weeks of seeing each other regularly (2-3 times a week, texts/calls every day, nice combos) that I have my test available. Men who want sex “get” this and ask for the list of items I want to see

*nice convos

[Anonymous]

The worst STD's have no outward symptoms. Specifically, Hepatitis B, C, and HIV. HPV also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If i like a man and see him at least 3 times, I try to create a comfortable setting to have a make-out session (without sex but certainly with me undressing to nice lingerie). It's important for me to see if he's turning me on, and other way around, before continue seeing each other. Why waste everyone's time?

Sex is usually a month in, usually 6-7 dates and after I verified he's single, doesn't have criminal history, know where he works, and after I visited his home (again ,to verify he lives alone and is transparent).

Not sure how a woman can even have sex safely with anyone on date 1-2

I’m sorry but if you strip down to nice lingerie the expectation will be very high that sex is in the offing. You can certainly “just say no” but he will be surprised. I’m all for a heavy kissing session and maybe some groping but I’m not stripping down to my undies as part of it. I save that for the main event.

I would want to see a man stripped down to briefs before I decide on sex. Sometimes I invite dates for a gym workout with swimming together for that specific purpose. Seeing him in trunks either stimulates or eliminates my desire.

Just swap dick pics with him and skip the gym. That way you don’t need to even meet him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst STD's have no outward symptoms. Specifically, Hepatitis B, C, and HIV. HPV also.

Some day the Apple Watch will be able to read all STDs so on the first date you just rub the watches together and see if you are good to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If i like a man and see him at least 3 times, I try to create a comfortable setting to have a make-out session (without sex but certainly with me undressing to nice lingerie). It's important for me to see if he's turning me on, and other way around, before continue seeing each other. Why waste everyone's time?

Sex is usually a month in, usually 6-7 dates and after I verified he's single, doesn't have criminal history, know where he works, and after I visited his home (again ,to verify he lives alone and is transparent).

Not sure how a woman can even have sex safely with anyone on date 1-2

I’m sorry but if you strip down to nice lingerie the expectation will be very high that sex is in the offing. You can certainly “just say no” but he will be surprised. I’m all for a heavy kissing session and maybe some groping but I’m not stripping down to my undies as part of it. I save that for the main event.

I would want to see a man stripped down to briefs before I decide on sex. Sometimes I invite dates for a gym workout with swimming together for that specific purpose. Seeing him in trunks either stimulates or eliminates my desire.

Just swap dick pics with him and skip the gym. That way you don’t need to even meet him.

Thanks for the joke. It’s not about his dick for me (as long as it’s not micro). It’s about his whole body and personality - how playful, sharp, sexy he is in some situations like a joint workout. His body may not necessarily be perfect but I would still find him sexy like a caveman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Even in my 20s, I would never initially sleep with a woman unless I used a condom. Not just STDs, but really did not want to pay 18 years of child support.

[Anonymous]

OP, dating has always been difficult. It's a numbers game. Don't you remember in college the fumbling around and trying to pick up on the other person's feelings? Plus keeping your expectations realistic? To some degree, we are still that same individual wrapped in an older person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Even in my 20s, I would never initially sleep with a woman unless I used a condom. Not just STDs, but really did not want to pay 18 years of child support.

All men are nowadays offering oral to women very first few dates, and he’s unprotected during it. Condoms also don’t protect entirely against skin to skin STDs like herpes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Even in my 20s, I would never initially sleep with a woman unless I used a condom. Not just STDs, but really did not want to pay 18 years of child support.

During college our frat had a "rawdogging randoms" thing. It was mostly a joke but some guys took the meme seriously. We all got the clap at some point, mostly because we were banging the same sluts that took turns on us. Few of my bros actually knocked up some girls. It was fun but also really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a date with a divorced woman who was 38 and man she was DTF right there and then after the first date. I don’t sleep with any date until a month into the relationship. So we had our first date, everything was going well, she had a few drinks( I don’t drink) and we were just talking and I told her I am not into hooking up right away and her response was super DTF lol. She said “I guess I shaved for nothing tonight” and giggled. Yeah I knew she wasn’t for me. Not all men are DTF.

Yeah, I would say that it is very situational. You'd have to be very sure that you aren't hooking up with "crazy".

The other aspect of this is STDs. How do you assess that within the first date or two?

Even in my 20s, I would never initially sleep with a woman unless I used a condom. Not just STDs, but really did not want to pay 18 years of child support.

During college our frat had a "rawdogging randoms" thing. It was mostly a joke but some guys took the meme seriously. We all got the clap at some point, mostly because we were banging the same sluts that took turns on us. Few of my bros actually knocked up some girls. It was fun but also really stupid.

So disgusting 🤮