Uncomfortable truth: non-partiers wind up working for the partiers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, no y'all are working for the athletes.

What kinds of athletes were Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, Gates, Pichai, Jensen Huang, Jobs, etc. etc.?

[Anonymous]

Looks like it's the opposite

LOL, no y'all are working for the nerds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

Define “turned out great”.

OP here. One is a very successful pharma rep and engaged to a surgeon she met on one of her stops. The other is in a management trainee program at a Fortune 100 company. To reply to another poster, I had been referring to strivers in the classroom, the brown-nose types. But yes they are strivers where it counts, in climbing the latter and engaging people.

I'm laughing so hard, this has to be troll!

[Anonymous]

A lot of people who do well in business have strong sociopathic tendencies.

#winning

[Anonymous]

Pretty funny, Revenge of the Nerds reversed for the Millennial era. I hung out with some hard partiers, cool dudes, some are super successful and some couldn't stop when college ended. Have fun but don't get sucked into the hard stuff and don't drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think there is some truth to this.

My own SIL has a difficult time in life and her main problem is she can’t get along with other people or navigate a social scene. She’s book smart and a very hard worker but can’t get ahead professionally.

At the end of the day how you make people feel and the ability to get along with and work well with others is critical. The Greek scene does help prepare members for the real world.

There are people in the world like your SIL, yes. That doesn't prove OP's point at all. Similarly, there are plenty of social drop out alcoholics who are products of the Greek system, or traumatized people who never succeeded because of abuses in the Greek system. That also does not disprove OP's (gross and shallow) point. OP, of course, completely ignores the successful people who attended colleges that have no Greek system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

This is hilarious. I went to a big state school with a large Greek scene. One of the major standouts of the Greek scene was that it's comprised of wealthy, white kids who descend from country club parents. It's not the Greek orgs that made these kids successful; it's the trust funds and access to huge swaths of wealth. You cannot separate the two. But sure, it's because they were "trained in the business world" while getting hammered with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

To each their own, I guess?!

Sure, if you want to become the top salesman at the used car lot someday, learning how to chat up unsuspecting customers definitely helps.

Meanwhile, our college-age DC wants to go into medicine and work on curing difficult diseases, so we're happy to see her hang out with her other nerdy friends at the coffee shop and library doing homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think there is some truth to this.

My own SIL has a difficult time in life and her main problem is she can’t get along with other people or navigate a social scene. She’s book smart and a very hard worker but can’t get ahead professionally.

At the end of the day how you make people feel and the ability to get along with and work well with others is critical. The Greek scene does help prepare members for the real world.

There are people in the world like your SIL, yes. That doesn't prove OP's point at all. Similarly, there are plenty of social drop out alcoholics who are products of the Greek system, or traumatized people who never succeeded because of abuses in the Greek system. That also does not disprove OP's (gross and shallow) point. OP, of course, completely ignores the successful people who attended colleges that have no Greek system.

Maybe your sil has undiagnosed high functioning autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, if you want to become the top salesman at the used car lot someday, learning how to chat up unsuspecting customers definitely helps.

You sure have a simplistic view of what it takes to thrive at large corporations.

Having good EQ and social skills isn't simply about sales. No matter what kind of team you lead at a company, collaborating with other department heads or fellow C-suiters, building consensus, etc. is usually the only path to promotion (or even keeping your job).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

Define “turned out great”.

OP here. One is a very successful pharma rep and engaged to a surgeon she met on one of her stops. The other is in a management trainee program at a Fortune 100 company. To reply to another poster, I had been referring to strivers in the classroom, the brown-nose types. But yes they are strivers where it counts, in climbing the latter and engaging people.

So . . . nobody works for either of your kids. Maybe they didn't party hard enough??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

I know! I mean Steve Jobs, BIll Gates and even Mark Zuckerberg were all big greeks. Oh wait...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, if you want to become the top salesman at the used car lot someday, learning how to chat up unsuspecting customers definitely helps.

You sure have a simplistic view of what it takes to thrive at large corporations.

Having good EQ and social skills isn't simply about sales. No matter what kind of team you lead at a company, collaborating with other department heads or fellow C-suiters, building consensus, etc. is usually the only path to promotion (or even keeping your job).

Good EQ and social skills are important, but thankfully those can always be learned/improved throughout life. However, once you've missed your chance to get into a good grad/professional school because you pi**ed away your grades doing keg stands at the frat house, those doors are closed forever. And for better or worse, many of the most interesting jobs (curing cancer, etc.) do require highly specialized advanced degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, if you want to become the top salesman at the used car lot someday, learning how to chat up unsuspecting customers definitely helps.

You sure have a simplistic view of what it takes to thrive at large corporations.

Having good EQ and social skills isn't simply about sales. No matter what kind of team you lead at a company, collaborating with other department heads or fellow C-suiters, building consensus, etc. is usually the only path to promotion (or even keeping your job).

Good EQ and social skills are important, but thankfully those can always be learned/improved throughout life. However, once you've missed your chance to get into a good grad/professional school because you pi**ed away your grades doing keg stands at the frat house, those doors are closed forever. And for better or worse, many of the most interesting jobs (curing cancer, etc.) do require highly specialized advanced degrees.

Stop with all your facts and reason! You're harshing my delusions!

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re splitting people into artificial and simplistic categories: “lonely, awkward, brown-nosing strivers” vs. “fun, social, successful partiers with hot spouses.” But humans aren’t binary like that. People have the capacity to be many things concurrently, and to display a multiplicity of strengths (and flaws) across different settings and different moments in time.

It also seems reeeeally important to you to believe that your children have somehow “won,” as if life is some sort of game, wherein if you just make the right moves, you can end up on top. But OP, life is complex, and it’s bumpy, and there’s not a human alive who won’t face disappointment, heartbreak, setbacks, and fear. I wish that weren’t true, but here we all are.

If your kids are happy and satisfied right now, I’m happy for them, and for you. But I recommend holding onto all this loosely, without clinging to any particular narrative about who/what they are, or what they have. Life is long, and it’s unpredictable, and binary thinking rarely helps a person in the long term.