Uncomfortable truth: non-partiers wind up working for the partiers

[Anonymous]

Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

[Anonymous]

Why do you assume every kid wants to work in "the business world."

[Anonymous]

TL;DR: My kids aren't very intellectual, but they party a lot and are social climbers, and that's what I value.

[Anonymous]

Awful post of the day. Thanks OP, needed that eyeroll.

[Anonymous]

So, is it your kids, OP, who are the strivers? Feels like it.


They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

[Anonymous]

Depends entirely on your filed.

My kid is getting a science PhD.

Thank God she did not choose a field where success hinges on glad-handing and drinking skills. The ability to make fake small talk and butter up those in the Executive Suite.

But it sounds like you got the flavor of kids you wanted, so it is all good.

[Anonymous]

So why do nerds rule the world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you assume every kid wants to work in "the business world."

And why do you assume everyone cares about climbing the corporate ladder?

I'm a geeky non-intellectual and have no desire to have people working for me. "Clicking with the executive crowd"? Barf.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad your kids enjoy the Greek life. I agree that building social skills is important for most career paths. I don't understand why you feel the need to denigrate people who value academics (especially since it's possible to be both a part of Greek life and an intellectual?)

Different people have different priorities (not everyone wants to work in business, for instance), and I don't think it's valuable to assert that yours is the only correct one. Nevertheless, I'm glad you know what you value in a college education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naive students and parents, usually middle class and below, disdain the Greek system and talk about how they don't want to participate. They claim they're more serious students and aren't into that scene.

What these people don't understand is that the Greek social scene actually trains you to operate in the business world. You learn the importance of socializing, sizing people up at a glance, social drinking, and how to present yourself so that you're accepted and click with the executive class. Most importantly, you learn that you need to be extroverted and to cultivate connections to succeed in your career.

The nose to the grindstone "strivers" don't learn these things. They think the real world is like the classroom, when in fact it's much like a fraternity social. They dress the wrong way, say the wrong things, and clumsily offer opinions that might be true but are socially awkward. So they get pigeonholed as drones. They don't get the promotions, and they don't get the hot spouses.

I've advised my kids to scout out the best Greek orgs, and they've turned out great. They're not brilliant intellectuals, but their superstars socially and interpersonally. They know how to size up a crowd and maximize the benefit to themselves, to capitalize on opportunities to engage with people who can help them. They also know how to avoid people who will damage their reputations, and they don't hold one ounce of guilt for being what some would say is "mean". They know you can't please everyone, so connect with the important people and be the one who others try to please.

Define “turned out great”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why do nerds rule the world?

This

[Anonymous]

I dont think its necessarily Greek specific but I do think the idea is generally true. Dh is an exception (he has strong social skills but worked so much through college he had zero social life). People who are extroverted and know how to engage with others and all that generally tend to do better in life.

BUT I think where you're wrong with this post is that sometimes the "strivers" have their own social scene. My brother is one of those. He's very successful (he works in a lab doing research) and he, his friends, and all the colleagues I've met are socially awkward. But that's just their world. A greek "bro" likely wouldn't last long in his department.

[Anonymous]

This is covered pretty well by Paul Tough in "The Years that Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us." The short version is that, especially with elite colleges, it is all about the connections you make, and very little is about how well you do with the actual academic work. And the people who don't understand that are confused when they are trying for those plum consulting jobs and the people who hardly did any work at all are getting the interviews. The connections may or may not be Greek, depending on the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends entirely on your filed.

My kid is getting a science PhD.

Thank God she did not choose a field where success hinges on glad-handing and drinking skills. The ability to make fake small talk and butter up those in the Executive Suite.

But it sounds like you got the flavor of kids you wanted, so it is all good.

Lol. Guess who ends up running things at the university, sweetie? An awful lot of it is about glad handing and unfortunately not about citation counts. It is everywhere!

[Anonymous]

I think you mean "poor people wind up working for rich people."