How do married people find the random time to cheat?

[Anonymous]

Lets see....

SAH wives have a lot of time to mess around while their husbands are working.
Also, their friends and family cover for them. That means "girls night" they cheat, "going to visit parents" they cheat...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Business trips, we work for the same company but different departments.

He legitimately takes me out on business dinners when I visit his city and then he comes back to my hotel room. We plan business travel to be in the same area when we can and we only communicate via our work phone during work hours.

May I ask why you are still in it, pp?



I had an emotional affair so I know how addictive and fun it is, but the guilt was overwhelming to me.

We don’t see each other often, so the emotional intimacy is what keeps me interested. I feel guilty at times, but not enough to end our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Uber, Uber Eats, Amazon deliveries or any jobs like that where folks can just disappear for hours on end.

The gym, cycling and golf. Can disappear several hours a day and also gym has bonus of onsite shower.

Cops and other jobs with weird shifts all hours of the night and weekends. I know a married guy that regularly had like 10am-10pm weekend shifts and was busted because they took one of those days off but spouse assumed they were at work but they were at a hotel the whole day with another married woman.

Business trips or any job of hobby that requires travel out of town. It's perfect because they have a hotel room. I'm on apps and there are a number of men that post about the fact that they travel to the area regularly for work are seeking someone in the area for when they are in town.

Meeting during the work day. Another red flag for me are the men that only want to meet up for lunch or during work hours and can never meet on the weekends.

Business owners that don't have traditional 9-5 office hours. I met one guy that owned a business and had staff running it so he didn't really go to work during the day. He claimed ENM or that his wife gave him a pass to do whatever but who knows. I didn't get involved with him but he would periodically text about his life and women he was meeting. He was very involved as a parent with 4 kids so only met people during weekdays. He told me he was seeing women without revealing his marital status, some of which were clear they don't want to deal with married men, and I am like how do these women not know if he is only seeing you during the work day all the time.

As a woman that has been out there dating those have often been some red flags of men that were married and cheating that I have seen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

My husband theorizes that a lot of the push for RTO is that cheaters have abundant opportunities to cheat when they’re already out of the house 8+ hours a day.

It aligns with the biggest advocates of RTO and the ones that always say they prefer working in the office are usually men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“The gym”- go bang in a hotel nearby. Or on WAH day when he “had to run into the office for an hour or so” (aka her house).

She didn’t work and had kids in school so house was free and she had all the time in the world when husband was at work.

Doesn't the other spouse see the credit card bill with the hotel charges on it?

I found a hotel charge on a bill he left on the table at home. The spouse of the woman also found me online and wrote me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

Am I the only one that does pretty much everything with my husband? And when we’re not together, we are meeting at the same location nearly always. To randomly disrupt that routine would set off a lot of red flags in our house. But maybe some spouses are just naive or in denial?

When I was married, I did zero with my husband. Literally zero. We lived in the same house. That is it. I don't know anyone who does EVERYTHING with their husband. I was married for 10 years. No cheating.

Perhaps that’s why you are using married in the past tense? My husband and I aren’t joined at the hip, but when the opportunity presents itself to be together we take it. He doesn’t need to come to our kids’ swim practice in the morning, but if he’s up and ready for work, he often comes with me and we drink our coffee and chat for 30 min. If we don’t have a 9am meeting, we walk the kids to school together so we can chat with each other for 7 minutes on the way home. We like each other and want to be together when we don’t have to divide and conquer with the kids .

Plenty of people don’t do every single thing with their spouses and still stay married.

been over a decade and we don't do anything together beyond kid events
not my choice, I complained about it a lot for a while and asked for date nights etc. until I got tired of begging for companionship and emotional needs of course that lead to less connection and therefore being less interested in sex also
takes two to make it work and stay connected
the sexless lonely staying for the kids married life gotta love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

My husband theorizes that a lot of the push for RTO is that cheaters have abundant opportunities to cheat when they’re already out of the house 8+ hours a day.

It aligns with the biggest advocates of RTO and the ones that always say they prefer working in the office are usually men

What is RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

Am I the only one that does pretty much everything with my husband? And when we’re not together, we are meeting at the same location nearly always. To randomly disrupt that routine would set off a lot of red flags in our house. But maybe some spouses are just naive or in denial?

When I was married, I did zero with my husband. Literally zero. We lived in the same house. That is it. I don't know anyone who does EVERYTHING with their husband. I was married for 10 years. No cheating.

Perhaps that’s why you are using married in the past tense? My husband and I aren’t joined at the hip, but when the opportunity presents itself to be together we take it. He doesn’t need to come to our kids’ swim practice in the morning, but if he’s up and ready for work, he often comes with me and we drink our coffee and chat for 30 min. If we don’t have a 9am meeting, we walk the kids to school together so we can chat with each other for 7 minutes on the way home. We like each other and want to be together when we don’t have to divide and conquer with the kids .

Plenty of people don’t do every single thing with their spouses and still stay married.

been over a decade and we don't do anything together beyond kid events
not my choice, I complained about it a lot for a while and asked for date nights etc. until I got tired of begging for companionship and emotional needs of course that lead to less connection and therefore being less interested in sex also
takes two to make it work and stay connected
the sexless lonely staying for the kids married life gotta love it

I’m counting the days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

My husband theorizes that a lot of the push for RTO is that cheaters have abundant opportunities to cheat when they’re already out of the house 8+ hours a day.

It aligns with the biggest advocates of RTO and the ones that always say they prefer working in the office are usually men

What is RTO?

return to office, end of remote work or going hybrid with fewer remote days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Additionally I know they would each take their kids - my brother and her son, who were both toddlers - and meet up in a hotel room with a suite and set the kids up with toys/TV while they DTD.

Amazing that neither set of kids blabbed anything suspicious in front of either cheated-on spouse - “when daddy took me to the playdate at the hotel” or something like that.

My brother who was learning to speak did say things that aroused suspicion.

[Anonymous]

“Girls’ trip/spa day”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Girls’ trip/spa day”

Proud of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not married but I had a serious girlfriend we saw each other 2-3 nights a week and talked on phone 30-60 minutes every day we did not see each other.

I got caught with another girlfriend which was also a serious girlfriend. I kept it up one year.

I actually kept a change of clothes and stuff under spare tire and I often go direct one girl friend to next. I even would borrow a car now and then to avoid one seeing the other persons car. To add to madness I had a third “booty call” girl during week sometimes and I still went out friends to singles bars 2-3 nights a week to find new girls. Three women in a week was common. It is crazy work to do it.

One of my side girls actually had a BF and I was her bootie call. She liked me more than her BF. So we started double dating. Yes I actually once even did the double date and we planned we both not let out gF:bf stay over and at 11:30 pm we would meet up.

It can be done. I think it works as most would never think someone would do it.

One crazy girl like “the taste” of my GF that was wacky. And also hard to perform on third time but she was always helpful.

My other friend did a married nurse at lunch in the exam room.

I have apparently led a very sheltered life.

Yeah. Most of us grew up thinking this was just a select few people. Nope.

I have a difficult time believing that a nurse would do that on the job during the workday in an exam room. Was that just some kind of bachelor party girl dressed up like a nurse? Regular people don’t put their marriage, employment and reputation in the community on the line like this in one fell swoop. They just don’t.

As my therapist says:

People are full of surprises!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Business trips, we work for the same company but different departments.

He legitimately takes me out on business dinners when I visit his city and then he comes back to my hotel room. We plan business travel to be in the same area when we can and we only communicate via our work phone during work hours.

May I ask why you are still in it, pp?

I had an emotional affair so I know how addictive and fun it is, but the guilt was overwhelming to me.

thanks for sharing this. It’s good to read. My exes’ currently lady was / is very conservative … one of those liberal but socially-conservative type in the way she dresses, etc. Bookish. Grade school teacher. They went from platonic to romantic when our marriage was rocky. Oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex would wait for me to fall asleep, then he would go out around 11pm. I was a new mom so I was exhausted. But when baby woke up and I noticed he wasn't there multiple times, the running to McDonald's for a snack excuse stopped working. Especially when I noticed he took my car and gas was low, and that he had taken an apple with him to McDonald's and left it on my seat.

Used Google account to figure out his map history.

Sorry. It's really low to do this right after you gave birth. How did you use Google to track him?

Google maps shows a history unless you change your settings to delete location history.