My husband is the least fun man ever

[Anonymous]

I’m impressed he went at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes! If he can’t even play along on a holiday that doesn’t require much effort (no religious services, no elaborate meal expectations, no office obligations), then how can I count on him to show even a minimum of effort or enthusiasm for interacting with me as a human being on the harder, regular days?

You obviously have no idea how much effort it takes for an introvert to make small talk with strangers. We hate it. It's exhausting.

But interacting with you sounds exhausting too, tbh.

God, you whiny “OMG iM aN iNtRoVErT” people are so ridiculous. You really don’t need to go home and collapse dramatically on your fainting couch every time you make polite conversation with other adults.

It's the whiny OP with her "WhY cAn't He MaKe SmAlL tAlK oR gEt Up To SaY hI tO aNyOnE" who is so ridiculous. She came on DCUM to have a dramatic meltdown because her DH didn't want to talk to a bunch of boring strangers.

[Anonymous]

Is introvert a synonym for being antisocial? I thought introverts just didn’t like social interaction, I didn’t know they got a pass for being rude.

[Anonymous]

Wow, American women are terrible, Europe and Asians woman would be jumping at the chance to be with your husband as he doesn't sound like an alcoholic, abuser and is level headed. Go ahead and cheat you dumb American, he can get someone younger and nicer than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you to decide what "fun" or "summer" is supposed to be?

Going to a communal bathtub and hanging out talking to people I don't know very well in swamp weather, is my idea of hell.

Give me a gorgeous hike (even with others) on a cool Fall day. and I'm in heaven.

What's your DH's idea of fun? Do you do things that he enjoys

This. I hate community pools. I feel so exposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, American women are terrible, Europe and Asians woman would be jumping at the chance to be with your husband as he doesn't sound like an alcoholic, abuser and is level headed. Go ahead and cheat you dumb American, he can get someone younger and nicer than you.

I sense you can count alcoholic abusers amongst many of your intimate acquaintances…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I’ll comment more on the significance when the OP replies to me.

It doesn’t matter.

If he’s senior and high income it’s because he’s masking his ASD and work addiction is his hyperinterest. He comes home at 6 or 7 totally spent, needs to selfishly decompress and not talk to anyone after work or the weekends.

If he’s junior or bouncing around jobs due to being socially awkward ASD, then he still can’t connect with people is socially know what to do when. Maybe he could memorize some greetings, or conversational questions or be more fun tagging along. Less of an ego than the former profile.

But either way the spouse and kids are in their own. The father / husband is checked out.

No. My analysis of the situation is taking a totally different track than that. You’re quite a long way off the mark of why I’m asking about his work life.

As someone who’s been around since the Beatles were new, I’ve eventually learned that there are really not that many different personality types and associated behavior manifestations. I’m a reserved person myself, and not a know-it-all, but after this many decades it doesn’t take me long to say to myself “AHA… I’ve seen THIS situation before.”

Thus I’m reserving judgment until the OP responds with answers. (1) What topics of conversation did the OP spend the day discussing? (2) What book was the husband reading? (3) What is the husband’s relative success in his career field, commensurate with his tenure in that role?

There are specific reasons why I’ve posed those questions, and probably more depth to them that may be apparent on the surface. But I need the OP to return to the thread and answer them honestly.

The fact that she’s abandoned the thread or won’t reply is starting to give me an idea of what’s going on. And/or it indicates that she’s ashamed of the answers.

But I’ll wait patiently and see and not say anything more.

Thanks,
Annie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes! If he can’t even play along on a holiday that doesn’t require much effort (no religious services, no elaborate meal expectations, no office obligations), then how can I count on him to show even a minimum of effort or enthusiasm for interacting with me as a human being on the harder, regular days?

You obviously have no idea how much effort it takes for an introvert to make small talk with strangers. We hate it. It's exhausting.

But interacting with you sounds exhausting too, tbh.

God, you whiny “OMG iM aN iNtRoVErT” people are so ridiculous. You really don’t need to go home and collapse dramatically on your fainting couch every time you make polite conversation with other adults.

Goes hand in hand with total self-centeredness too.

I feel bad for kids with a parent like that.

Rarely connecting, begging for attention, no social activities (because Dad doesn’t do those and who cares!), loss of conversation skills.

Other parent had better over-compensate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is introvert a synonym for being antisocial? I thought introverts just didn’t like social interaction, I didn’t know they got a pass for being rude.

They can only be rude to their “loved ones”. Home is their safe space to shut down.
They usually try to act nice and attentive to others if in smaller groups. At a big pool they’ll hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes! If he can’t even play along on a holiday that doesn’t require much effort (no religious services, no elaborate meal expectations, no office obligations), then how can I count on him to show even a minimum of effort or enthusiasm for interacting with me as a human being on the harder, regular days?

You obviously have no idea how much effort it takes for an introvert to make small talk with strangers. We hate it. It's exhausting.

But interacting with you sounds exhausting too, tbh.

God, you whiny “OMG iM aN iNtRoVErT” people are so ridiculous. You really don’t need to go home and collapse dramatically on your fainting couch every time you make polite conversation with other adults.

Goes hand in hand with total self-centeredness too.

I feel bad for kids with a parent like that.

Rarely connecting, begging for attention, no social activities (because Dad doesn’t do those and who cares!), loss of conversation skills.

Other parent had better over-compensate.

This is pretty odd - I guess we have reached the stage where people spout random BS. I am an introvert and connect with my children all the time. Frankly, though, they prefer social activities with their friends, without parental involvement.

Strange how OP never mentioned DH connecting with kids. She wants DH to connect other dads so her kids are invited places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I’ll comment more on the significance when the OP replies to me.

It doesn’t matter.

If he’s senior and high income it’s because he’s masking his ASD and work addiction is his hyperinterest. He comes home at 6 or 7 totally spent, needs to selfishly decompress and not talk to anyone after work or the weekends.

If he’s junior or bouncing around jobs due to being socially awkward ASD, then he still can’t connect with people is socially know what to do when. Maybe he could memorize some greetings, or conversational questions or be more fun tagging along. Less of an ego than the former profile.

But either way the spouse and kids are in their own. The father / husband is checked out.

No. My analysis of the situation is taking a totally different track than that. You’re quite a long way off the mark of why I’m asking about his work life.

As someone who’s been around since the Beatles were new, I’ve eventually learned that there are really not that many different personality types and associated behavior manifestations. I’m a reserved person myself, and not a know-it-all, but after this many decades it doesn’t take me long to say to myself “AHA… I’ve seen THIS situation before.”

Thus I’m reserving judgment until the OP responds with answers. (1) What topics of conversation did the OP spend the day discussing? (2) What book was the husband reading? (3) What is the husband’s relative success in his career field, commensurate with his tenure in that role?

There are specific reasons why I’ve posed those questions, and probably more depth to them that may be apparent on the surface. But I need the OP to return to the thread and answer them honestly.

The fact that she’s abandoned the thread or won’t reply is starting to give me an idea of what’s going on. And/or it indicates that she’s ashamed of the answers.

But I’ll wait patiently and see and not say anything more.

Thanks,
Annie

There‘s no analysis here Annie. So no one knows your supposed big unveil.

I appreciated the posts on if OPs husband has a chronic pattern of avoiding interacting with people socially or personally, and how some disorders result in different demeanors or effort at work versus with family.

That explains his issues much better than needing to read a book one day or avoiding talking about summer plans or work success.

More congruent would be finding out if his career has limited social interaction as well or a high degree of repetition or hyperfocus needs.


NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I’ll comment more on the significance when the OP replies to me.

It doesn’t matter.

If he’s senior and high income it’s because he’s masking his ASD and work addiction is his hyperinterest. He comes home at 6 or 7 totally spent, needs to selfishly decompress and not talk to anyone after work or the weekends.

If he’s junior or bouncing around jobs due to being socially awkward ASD, then he still can’t connect with people is socially know what to do when. Maybe he could memorize some greetings, or conversational questions or be more fun tagging along. Less of an ego than the former profile.

But either way the spouse and kids are in their own. The father / husband is checked out.

No. My analysis of the situation is taking a totally different track than that. You’re quite a long way off the mark of why I’m asking about his work life.

As someone who’s been around since the Beatles were new, I’ve eventually learned that there are really not that many different personality types and associated behavior manifestations. I’m a reserved person myself, and not a know-it-all, but after this many decades it doesn’t take me long to say to myself “AHA… I’ve seen THIS situation before.”

Thus I’m reserving judgment until the OP responds with answers. (1) What topics of conversation did the OP spend the day discussing? (2) What book was the husband reading? (3) What is the husband’s relative success in his career field, commensurate with his tenure in that role?

There are specific reasons why I’ve posed those questions, and probably more depth to them that may be apparent on the surface. But I need the OP to return to the thread and answer them honestly.

The fact that she’s abandoned the thread or won’t reply is starting to give me an idea of what’s going on. And/or it indicates that she’s ashamed of the answers.

But I’ll wait patiently and see and not say anything more.

Thanks,
Annie

Did PP just claim in all that jumbo that they’re not a Know It All.

Lol

A+ for lack of self awareness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, American women are terrible, Europe and Asians woman would be jumping at the chance to be with your husband as he doesn't sound like an alcoholic, abuser and is level headed. Go ahead and cheat you dumb American, he can get someone younger and nicer than you.

I am Team OP's Husband but this is just weird - you can't extrapolate things about an entire country because of one whiny lady's post online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, American women are terrible, Europe and Asians woman would be jumping at the chance to be with your husband as he doesn't sound like an alcoholic, abuser and is level headed. Go ahead and cheat you dumb American, he can get someone younger and nicer than you.

If you don’t like Americans then get the f*ck off this Board you racist ahole

[Anonymous]

So when does your husband talk to you or the kids and about what? Op?