My husband is the least fun man ever

[Anonymous]

What are you doing to make the relationship better, exactly? Have you stopped to consider that you and your friends might bore him? Dads jumping off diving boards is your gold standard for male behavior? Scary. Your husband sounds like a full grown man instead of a boy. You don't realize just how lucky you are to have him by your side. So you really want to blow up your kids' family because you think you can do better? Being a 40-plus woman on dating apps is no picnic, OP.

[Anonymous]

My husband dropped me and the kids at the pool (the pool is his idea of hell). We had a great time - I drank and chatted with my friends, kids hung out with theirs. Stayed about 4 hours. He picked up up a little while ago and drove us home. Dinner was waiting. He was happy he didn’t have to suffer at the pool, I was happy I didn’t have to get annoyed that he was being surly and just counting the minutes til we could leave. Everyone wins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants them to make family friends. Sorry OP! Mine is the same way.
I meet women and make friends with them, I think I'm pretty likable. Then we get invited over for a BBQ or something with our kids. My husband sits there like a bump on a log. He answers questions politely but doesn't make conversation and he comes across as a snob. Then we never get another family invite, just me out to coffee, or me and the kids out to a park.
When I have people over he keeps busy refilling food or cleaning up so he doesn't have to talk to anyone.
He's not a snob, he just can't relax around people he doesn't trust (which seems to be everyone he's known less than 15 years). He loves biking or camping with just our family.

This is so incredibly bizarre. People think your husband is a snob because he refills food and cleans up during parties???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing to make the relationship better, exactly? Have you stopped to consider that you and your friends might bore him? Dads jumping off diving boards is your gold standard for male behavior? Scary. Your husband sounds like a full grown man instead of a boy. You don't realize just how lucky you are to have him by your side. So you really want to blow up your kids' family because you think you can do better? Being a 40-plus woman on dating apps is no picnic, OP.

I'm sure she doesn't plan on blowing up her family.
I don't care for the bro dads either but she wants a social life. If he had other, more sophisticated friends to socialize with she wouldn't be complaining. It sounds like he has no friends at all.

[Anonymous]

I feel you op. I am very outgoing and DH is grumpy and not fun at all. I can’t do much without him because then he gets mad if he is not included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like my aspie husband. Solidarity, OP. At least I had a bunch of kids to fill the talking void. It’s so embarrassing to be social with him he acts like a rude weirdo. But he’s good in bed and I love him so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Are you saying he has Aspergers because he has a formal diagnosis? Have you always known? If you got the diagnosis after you were married, did it change anything. -OP asking for a “friend”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing he did “wrong” was go to the pool.

You should have gone without him.

You should take vacations and do things with the kids without him. You clearly don’t have the same ideas of fun and family, so make time for each of you do so what you want. Without each other.

Or, set yourselves both free.

What he did “wrong” was enjoy himself how he wanted instead of how she wanted him to enjoy himself. He was perfectly happy reading his book. He didn’t want to pretend to give a sh*t about a bunch of strangers - introverts find that boring and exhausting.

He shouldn't have had to go to the pool. He could have enjoyed his book at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing he did “wrong” was go to the pool.

You should have gone without him.

You should take vacations and do things with the kids without him. You clearly don’t have the same ideas of fun and family, so make time for each of you do so what you want. Without each other.

Or, set yourselves both free.

What he did “wrong” was enjoy himself how he wanted instead of how she wanted him to enjoy himself. He was perfectly happy reading his book. He didn’t want to pretend to give a sh*t about a bunch of strangers - introverts find that boring and exhausting.

He shouldn't have had to go to the pool. He could have enjoyed his book at home.

Sure. And I shouldn’t have had to move away from a city where my career was based or have a difficult few years physically after childbirth. But I did, because marriage is supposed to be about individual sacrifices for the good of the relationship and family. And it’s insane to me that my husband expects me to make huge sacrifices for him and our family but both this poster and my husband believe that 3 hours at the pool on a holiday + waving to an acquaintance is a bridge too far.

We should move back to DC and join whatever pool these PPs belong to so he can sit quietly and never interact with anyone.

[Anonymous]

Look, I am thinking of asking for a divorce because my husband is not fun, but my situation is far more severe and pervasive. He doesn't like most restaurants, movies, TV shows, is unhappy at sporting events, refuses to go to the theater or concerts, dislikes most of the neighbors, and complaints about my family and my friends, and my son's friends, and the parents of my son's friends.

It sounds like your husband just isn't into the scene at your pool, unless there is more you are not telling me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing he did “wrong” was go to the pool.

You should have gone without him.

You should take vacations and do things with the kids without him. You clearly don’t have the same ideas of fun and family, so make time for each of you do so what you want. Without each other.

Or, set yourselves both free.

What he did “wrong” was enjoy himself how he wanted instead of how she wanted him to enjoy himself. He was perfectly happy reading his book. He didn’t want to pretend to give a sh*t about a bunch of strangers - introverts find that boring and exhausting.

He shouldn't have had to go to the pool. He could have enjoyed his book at home.

Sure. And I shouldn’t have had to move away from a city where my career was based or have a difficult few years physically after childbirth. But I did, because marriage is supposed to be about individual sacrifices for the good of the relationship and family. And it’s insane to me that my husband expects me to make huge sacrifices for him and our family but both this poster and my husband believe that 3 hours at the pool on a holiday + waving to an acquaintance is a bridge too far.

We should move back to DC and join whatever pool these PPs belong to so he can sit quietly and never interact with anyone.

Marriage isn’t about individual sacrifices. If you think that, it’s part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it, just have fun without him.

[Anonymous]

We were at our pool today and it was kind of nuts. I’m a moderately social person and it was a bit much for me. There’s almost a high school vibe on these days when the whole neighborhood is out.

I have a friend whose husband never ever comes to anything. He does a lot of the driving for their kid who does an intense travel sport. But I think he’s also just not very social. She and the kids are lovely and get invited everywhere. I would not want to be around a wife who was harping on or embarrassed of her husband though….

[Anonymous]

I like to read books at the pool. What a weird thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing he did “wrong” was go to the pool.

You should have gone without him.

You should take vacations and do things with the kids without him. You clearly don’t have the same ideas of fun and family, so make time for each of you do so what you want. Without each other.

Or, set yourselves both free.

What he did “wrong” was enjoy himself how he wanted instead of how she wanted him to enjoy himself. He was perfectly happy reading his book. He didn’t want to pretend to give a sh*t about a bunch of strangers - introverts find that boring and exhausting.

He shouldn't have had to go to the pool. He could have enjoyed his book at home.

Sure. And I shouldn’t have had to move away from a city where my career was based or have a difficult few years physically after childbirth. But I did, because marriage is supposed to be about individual sacrifices for the good of the relationship and family. And it’s insane to me that my husband expects me to make huge sacrifices for him and our family but both this poster and my husband believe that 3 hours at the pool on a holiday + waving to an acquaintance is a bridge too far.

We should move back to DC and join whatever pool these PPs belong to so he can sit quietly and never interact with anyone.

You chose someone incompatible with the lifestyle you want to lead. It’s not fair to change him, or expect him to want the things you do, or expect him to fake interactions.

It is also not fair to you.

This marriage is going to be miserable for you both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to read books at the pool. What a weird thread.

Okay, dear.