Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Silver candlesticks. My mom used hers every day and so do I. Will likely get them for all of our kids.

I got a set from our wedding and it felt like such an impersonal gift. We never use them.

So again, ask the DIL. You don't want this to turn into a resentment fest.

[Anonymous]

Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?

[Anonymous]

OP was looking for ideas; she did not specifically mention quilts.

NPs followed up with "not a quilt" and I questioned if they meant store-bought or GENERATIONAL - meaning passed down from one generation to another.

I would think that passing along a generational quilt to an incoming family member would be a gift of great value.

But based on responses it appears unanimous that if the gift isn't directly tied to the specific wants of the individual and their personal interests and desires, then don't give it. That includes generational quilts.

That's how Early 20th Century quilts wind up being sold at flea markets for $20.

[Anonymous]

As someone who received massive vases and unnecessary stuff from my “future” in laws on my wedding day (9 years ago), please don’t get her a massive gift that she will have no clue what to do with on that day. If she truly does not like jewelry, something like a memorable Christmas ornament to commemorate the day is the most I would give her. Otherwise, a piece of very delicate, subtle jewelry is fine. Just don’t be offended if she doesn’t wear it on the wedding day. She likely has planned her jewelry far in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP was looking for ideas; she did not specifically mention quilts.

NPs followed up with "not a quilt" and I questioned if they meant store-bought or GENERATIONAL - meaning passed down from one generation to another.

I would think that passing along a generational quilt to an incoming family member would be a gift of great value.

But based on responses it appears unanimous that if the gift isn't directly tied to the specific wants of the individual and their personal interests and desires, then don't give it. That includes generational quilts.

That's how Early 20th Century quilts wind up being sold at flea markets for $20.

You conveniently forgot the part where not one but two of us said offer it to THE GROOM, and/or the actual blood relative. That’s who the quilt would have meaning for. Why are you acting like only women should be offered quilts? Bet you won’t answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. How about commissioning a local artist to paint something for them? The place they met, where they are getting married etc.

This is even worse, as it will have no resale value. Depending on the artist and the subject, it sounds like this could by tacky as hell.

Honestly, talk to her, or at least to your son. And listen. A lot of women these days hate “stuff” and clutter. I did not register for china, because DH and I have the current and future albatrosses of all the “stuff” from my parents and DH’s parents hanging around our necks. We spend a lot of time thinking about how we’re eventually going to have to work for weeks to give it all away, donate, throw away, recycle, etc. I don’t know why older people think more, more more stuff is always the answer.

Wait, what? Why does a gift have to have resale value?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was looking for ideas; she did not specifically mention quilts.

NPs followed up with "not a quilt" and I questioned if they meant store-bought or GENERATIONAL - meaning passed down from one generation to another.

I would think that passing along a generational quilt to an incoming family member would be a gift of great value.

But based on responses it appears unanimous that if the gift isn't directly tied to the specific wants of the individual and their personal interests and desires, then don't give it. That includes generational quilts.

That's how Early 20th Century quilts wind up being sold at flea markets for $20.

You conveniently forgot the part where not one but two of us said offer it to THE GROOM, and/or the actual blood relative. That’s who the quilt would have meaning for. Why are you acting like only women should be offered quilts? Bet you won’t answer.

Exactly. This doesn’t carry meaning for the bride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?

Don’t know anyone who wears a Rolex. Everybody I know (myself Included) wears an Apple Watch. OP specifically said no jewelry so not sure why DIL would like a flashy watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. How about commissioning a local artist to paint something for them? The place they met, where they are getting married etc.

This is even worse, as it will have no resale value. Depending on the artist and the subject, it sounds like this could by tacky as hell.

Honestly, talk to her, or at least to your son. And listen. A lot of women these days hate “stuff” and clutter. I did not register for china, because DH and I have the current and future albatrosses of all the “stuff” from my parents and DH’s parents hanging around our necks. We spend a lot of time thinking about how we’re eventually going to have to work for weeks to give it all away, donate, throw away, recycle, etc. I don’t know why older people think more, more more stuff is always the answer.

Wait, what? Why does a gift have to have resale value?

Um, a huge aspect of art collections is valuation.

[Anonymous]

Cold hard cash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was looking for ideas; she did not specifically mention quilts.

NPs followed up with "not a quilt" and I questioned if they meant store-bought or GENERATIONAL - meaning passed down from one generation to another.

I would think that passing along a generational quilt to an incoming family member would be a gift of great value.

But based on responses it appears unanimous that if the gift isn't directly tied to the specific wants of the individual and their personal interests and desires, then don't give it. That includes generational quilts.

That's how Early 20th Century quilts wind up being sold at flea markets for $20.

You conveniently forgot the part where not one but two of us said offer it to THE GROOM, and/or the actual blood relative. That’s who the quilt would have meaning for. Why are you acting like only women should be offered quilts? Bet you won’t answer.

No, you are conveniently wrong. Identify in the above post where I said "women." In fact, I specifically said, "incoming family member" which could be a man or a woman. Or do you think gay couples are not deserving of receiving heirloom gifts to pass along to their children one day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was looking for ideas; she did not specifically mention quilts.

NPs followed up with "not a quilt" and I questioned if they meant store-bought or GENERATIONAL - meaning passed down from one generation to another.

I would think that passing along a generational quilt to an incoming family member would be a gift of great value.

But based on responses it appears unanimous that if the gift isn't directly tied to the specific wants of the individual and their personal interests and desires, then don't give it. That includes generational quilts.

That's how Early 20th Century quilts wind up being sold at flea markets for $20.

You conveniently forgot the part where not one but two of us said offer it to THE GROOM, and/or the actual blood relative. That’s who the quilt would have meaning for. Why are you acting like only women should be offered quilts? Bet you won’t answer.

No, you are conveniently wrong. Identify in the above post where I said "women." In fact, I specifically said, "incoming family member" which could be a man or a woman. Or do you think gay couples are not deserving of receiving heirloom gifts to pass along to their children one day?

We are talking about a specific, incoming DIL.

So anyway, if you are so concerned about quilts, offer them to existing of the family. Incoming people joining by marriage do not need the pressure of accepting or taking care of something they may well think is not desirable, comfortable, or their taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?

Not "most certainly." Young people today are wearing smart watches daily.

[Anonymous]

my MIL gave me a custom pie tin with my new last name on it and a laminated recipe card from my DH's late grandma.

I'm not a baker, but it was a very sweet gift and felt like a nice way to welcome me to the family.

[Anonymous]

DH here, so maybe I’m way off base…. but how about offering to have her wedding dress professionally cleaned and sealed so it lasts and doesn’t deteriorate along with a nice handwritten note about whatever you want to say to her.