What’s with people getting angry that kids are in carseats longer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have yet to see an 11 year old in a high back booster. Good luck with that.

My 11 year old is 53 inches tall and we haven't removed our high back boosters from the car yet.

This is very very small. My 11 year old is always in the front row of group pictures, never the absolute shortest but one of them, and he is 58/59 inches.

53 inches would probably be about 5th percentile.
You do know how that works, yes? These kids do exist. I have one of them-almost 12 and 54 inches. I’m barely 5 foot myself.

Yep, entire extended family all small. All of us in 5- 10th percentile as babies/kids.

Women hover around 4'10" to 5' and men 5'6" as adults. Booster seats for all us moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen a lot of anger and animosity from (mostly) older folks regarding current guidelines for child passenger safety.

My 3.5-year-old is rear-facing carseat and my 7-year-old is in a backed booster with a harness. For some reason my father and father-in-law are extremely bothered by this. When I told my dad that both boys will be in some type of booster in the back seat until they’re 4’11” or 12 (whichever comes first) his head spun and he let out a guttural groan like he had been punched in the stomach.

We follow the recommendations of the NHTSA, CDC’s Child Passenger Safety and our pediatricians office. I don’t see a reason not to? My kids have never complained. They are always comfortable. They’re petite for their age and aren’t prone to car sickness so thank God I don’t have to worry about queasiness with the rear facing. They both will fall asleep in the car if the drive is longer than 30 minutes and so I don’t have to worry about them slumping over. Their peers are in similar carseats and booster seats and the older has never mentioned being embarrassed. Why not? Car accidents and guns are the two leading cause of deaths for children under 16 and I really have very little control about either but if I can give my children a decreased chance of serious injury or death in the event of a car accident why not?

So many older people seem to have survivors bias about it all.

“Back in my day we just sat in the back of the car and we turned out fine!” Well, I’m sure many didn’t and I don’t think car fatalities were nearly as common in the 1950s.

Same thing with helmets. Drives my dad crazy! “You never wore a helmet growing up and you were fine!”

Yeah. Thank God I didn’t crash and hit my head. I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you because I could’ve had a TBI. My kids gonna wear a helmet. Why on earth would they not? So they can look cooler to a bunch of 65-year-old men?

And I’ve seen ads for carseats and booster seats on social media and the comments are similar (yes, I know Facebook comments are always going to be the worst humanity has to offer). But there are so many people actually ANGRY that a 8-year-old is in a booster. Like angry and throwing out wild theories, “they’re trying to make our kids soft!” “This is why men can’t be men anymore!!” Just true insanity.

Why on earth does decreasing the chances of your kid being seriously injured or killed seem to trigger an entire generation?

Because they’re still little. Your oldest is 7? When he’s in 4th grade, get back to us and let us know how he feels about climbing into a booster seat in front of his friends from school.

Or when he wants to ride home with a friend from sports or go with his friends somewhere- and mom either says no it starts uninstalling and installing booster seats in the other parent’s car

Boosters for older kids are super easy to move to a new car— I have a ride to one of my DD’s friends the other day and we literally handed her booster through the window and had it installed in 5 seconds.

Also, it’s common for older kids to sometimes ride without a booster if they are at that borderline size where a booster is safest but it’s not crazy for them to ride without them. Our rule is that definitely a booster if the car is getting on the freeway or will be exceeding 35 mph. But we sometimes take Lyfts or let our kid ride in a family member’s car without a booster if they are just driving somewhere nearby. You don’t have to worry about the kind of high speed accident in those situations, just lower speed accidents where the risk is lower and the child is not likely to be thrown forward at a high rate of speed.

After age 7 or so (depending on kid’s size) following the guidelines isn’t much of a hassle. And the kids don’t complain about it when all their friends are in boosters too.

Disagree. High back boosters aren’t a pass through the window type thing. And when you are handing your 11 yr old booster seat over to his friend’s mom and putting it their car, meanwhile, their 11 yr old and his 9 yr old sibling both ride without- it is noticed. Multiple this my pretty much every friend he has and he will feel not so great about you wanting to insist on a booster every time

Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents definitely rolled their eyes and had that “you baby them too much” attitude about car seats. I like to remind them that they are the parenting generation that needed a reminder at 10pm that they were parents and needed to check where their children were.

This is brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When is a booster no longer needed?

Legally until 8, but the AAP recommends until 4’10”

It’s weird how DCUM screamed “LISTEN TO THE AAP!!!!!” when they wanted school buildings open during a pandemic, but now it’s “pffffft, what does the AAP know?” Weird, that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen a lot of anger and animosity from (mostly) older folks regarding current guidelines for child passenger safety.

My 3.5-year-old is rear-facing carseat and my 7-year-old is in a backed booster with a harness. For some reason my father and father-in-law are extremely bothered by this. When I told my dad that both boys will be in some type of booster in the back seat until they’re 4’11” or 12 (whichever comes first) his head spun and he let out a guttural groan like he had been punched in the stomach.

We follow the recommendations of the NHTSA, CDC’s Child Passenger Safety and our pediatricians office. I don’t see a reason not to? My kids have never complained. They are always comfortable. They’re petite for their age and aren’t prone to car sickness so thank God I don’t have to worry about queasiness with the rear facing. They both will fall asleep in the car if the drive is longer than 30 minutes and so I don’t have to worry about them slumping over. Their peers are in similar carseats and booster seats and the older has never mentioned being embarrassed. Why not? Car accidents and guns are the two leading cause of deaths for children under 16 and I really have very little control about either but if I can give my children a decreased chance of serious injury or death in the event of a car accident why not?

So many older people seem to have survivors bias about it all.

“Back in my day we just sat in the back of the car and we turned out fine!” Well, I’m sure many didn’t and I don’t think car fatalities were nearly as common in the 1950s.

Same thing with helmets. Drives my dad crazy! “You never wore a helmet growing up and you were fine!”

Yeah. Thank God I didn’t crash and hit my head. I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you because I could’ve had a TBI. My kids gonna wear a helmet. Why on earth would they not? So they can look cooler to a bunch of 65-year-old men?

And I’ve seen ads for carseats and booster seats on social media and the comments are similar (yes, I know Facebook comments are always going to be the worst humanity has to offer). But there are so many people actually ANGRY that a 8-year-old is in a booster. Like angry and throwing out wild theories, “they’re trying to make our kids soft!” “This is why men can’t be men anymore!!” Just true insanity.

Why on earth does decreasing the chances of your kid being seriously injured or killed seem to trigger an entire generation?

Because they’re still little. Your oldest is 7? When he’s in 4th grade, get back to us and let us know how he feels about climbing into a booster seat in front of his friends from school.

My kid will be 12 in a few months and in sixth grade. She still uses a booster, even with friends in the car.

Your exception does not prove the rule that this is common or even necessary or that the kids still sitting in the booster at an advanced age don't mind. Plus the PP was talking about a boy.

SO FREAKING WHAT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh people like you always tend to make it a hassle in some way.

Also the booster thing until kids are [insert some age older than 8 here] - I always wonder if you actually even know what the booster is for or if you just think it's some kind of parenting gold start to collect. Boosters are not in anyway life saving devices. The seat belt is the life saving device. So if your child has to go in a car without a booster seat, they are not missing out on the life saving part.

I know, I know, you are going to provide links to articles that quote studies you have never, and will never read. Yes, the booster positions a child better but shocker the booster doesn't guarantee the seat belt stays in the right position. Kids move around, the seat belt path for some boosters is almost the exact same as without and so on. I have seen almost zero parents use the attachment for the backless booster seats that is supposed to go on the seat belt shoulder strap by the way to make the belt fit better.

They just love their 5'4" 12 year old who weighs 110 more than you love your kids, ok? Those kids will still in those boosters when they learn to drive because you can never be too safe. They don't need facts or data. Just feelings.

It’s the hysterical anti-booster posters who are all up in their feelings. Purchase a mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are weird. We threw away the boosters by 4th grade.
No one sits in them. Carpool, nope, sports teams, nope.

Agree. I don’t know anyone (literally at all) in my real life who used them past about 2nd/3rd grade.

That your circle then. What does that have to do with the rest of us?

You mean your circle.

Oh no

My circle is made up of a bunch of engineers. I don't know what people who haven't learned physics do.

You sound like an adolescent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a theory!
I bet the people who still have or plan to have 11 year olds in boosters are the SAME people who are still masking indoors. I also bet the people who stopped using boosters early or the second they could get away with transitioning are the SAME people who resented masking and stopped as soon as they were allowed.
Amirite?[/quote

It's true in my case! I'm not too concerned about unlikely events and fully aware that I may one day regret that but I just don't sweat the small stuff. It's not in my nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol. I have a toddler and I agree with your FIL and father. I mean good lord life has risk. You’re going to make your 4th grader use a booster? I’d have been suicidal, for real.

Then you have severe preexisting mental health problems and should be psychiatrically hospitalized.

Yay, it’s the wine mom witching hour

I don’t drink (cue the idiotic response “wElL, mAyBe yOu sHoUld StArT”). I was responding to an asinine, melodramatic post about *other* people’s choices to use carseats at a time judgmental idiots think is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol. I have a toddler and I agree with your FIL and father. I mean good lord life has risk. You’re going to make your 4th grader use a booster? I’d have been suicidal, for real.

Then you have severe preexisting mental health problems and should be psychiatrically hospitalized.

Yay, it’s the wine mom witching hour

I don’t drink (cue the idiotic response “wElL, mAyBe yOu sHoUld StArT”). I was responding to an asinine, melodramatic post about *other* people’s choices to use carseats at a time judgmental idiots think is wrong.

You don’t drink but you still manage to come up with responses like that? Yikes. Drinking would be a good excuse, at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have yet to see an 11 year old in a high back booster. Good luck with that.

My 11 year old is 53 inches tall and we haven't removed our high back boosters from the car yet.

This is very very small. My 11 year old is always in the front row of group pictures, never the absolute shortest but one of them, and he is 58/59 inches.

53 inches would probably be about 5th percentile.
You do know how that works, yes? These kids do exist. I have one of them-almost 12 and 54 inches. I’m barely 5 foot myself.

Yes, so your kid is very very small at 5%. That's exactly what that means. What part was PP wrong about? Your kid is the absolute shortest amongst peers. The other 95% aren't riding around in boosters which is why the rest of us don't see this because that's how percentiles work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect a lot of this depends on your situation. As is often the case with parenting choices, your circumstances dictate a lot of it, and people have a tendency to argue about it as though everyone has the exact same circumstances, but of course they don't. And you see people on here saying "well everyone I know does X" and of course -- everyone you know probably has fairly similar experiences to you.

We live in the city, have one car, drive occasionally but not daily, and have younger kids (under 10). We very rarely give other kids rides because most people, including us, get to most kid-centric events without a car. Outside of us and our parents, the only other car our kids have ridden is the one belonging to our best family friends, who have same age kids.

Since we don't drive a ton, but when we do it's likely to be on a freeway and a longer distance, we take car safety really seriously. My oldest (9) is in a backless booster but this is very recent, younger child is still in a high back booster (7) and we assume will stay there for a while. I have never heard either kid complain about their carseat/booster, worry that their peers are not in them anymore (it is my impression they mostly are, but again, people don't drive a ton), and because we only drive a couple times a week, we don't find it onerous to deal with the car seats when we do.

I anticipate that a family with a different lifestyle, driving frequency, and peer group, might make other choices. That is fine.

I think it's weird that people are judgmental or assume we are insanely conservative because of our carseat choices. I don't get the judgement either way. There are some minimum legal requirements, some expert recommendations, and then families have to make their own choices.

I think you’re right that it’s really situation dependent. I rarely drive and have some anxiety about cars so I can’t imagine having my young kids in any kind of car without a proper car seat. But I turned my big, tall 2yo forward facing because she was well past the minimum size to be safe forward facing and she got really carsick. FF helped slightly and meant that the driver could look back easily and check on her if she was throwing up. I can’t imagine not following the minimum legal requirements but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not following the recommendations exactly to the letter of they don’t work for your family. Like infant sleep — I actually followed AAP: kids in my room but in their own crib until they were 1, but almost no one I else I know did. Either the kids moved to their rooms earlier so everyone could sleep better or they ended up cosleeping so everyone could sleep at all. I don’t think anyone was trying hurt their kids; there are just other considerations besides SIDS to be considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen a lot of anger and animosity from (mostly) older folks regarding current guidelines for child passenger safety.

My 3.5-year-old is rear-facing carseat and my 7-year-old is in a backed booster with a harness. For some reason my father and father-in-law are extremely bothered by this. When I told my dad that both boys will be in some type of booster in the back seat until they’re 4’11” or 12 (whichever comes first) his head spun and he let out a guttural groan like he had been punched in the stomach.

We follow the recommendations of the NHTSA, CDC’s Child Passenger Safety and our pediatricians office. I don’t see a reason not to? My kids have never complained. They are always comfortable. They’re petite for their age and aren’t prone to car sickness so thank God I don’t have to worry about queasiness with the rear facing. They both will fall asleep in the car if the drive is longer than 30 minutes and so I don’t have to worry about them slumping over. Their peers are in similar carseats and booster seats and the older has never mentioned being embarrassed. Why not? Car accidents and guns are the two leading cause of deaths for children under 16 and I really have very little control about either but if I can give my children a decreased chance of serious injury or death in the event of a car accident why not?

So many older people seem to have survivors bias about it all.

“Back in my day we just sat in the back of the car and we turned out fine!” Well, I’m sure many didn’t and I don’t think car fatalities were nearly as common in the 1950s.

Same thing with helmets. Drives my dad crazy! “You never wore a helmet growing up and you were fine!”

Yeah. Thank God I didn’t crash and hit my head. I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you because I could’ve had a TBI. My kids gonna wear a helmet. Why on earth would they not? So they can look cooler to a bunch of 65-year-old men?

And I’ve seen ads for carseats and booster seats on social media and the comments are similar (yes, I know Facebook comments are always going to be the worst humanity has to offer). But there are so many people actually ANGRY that a 8-year-old is in a booster. Like angry and throwing out wild theories, “they’re trying to make our kids soft!” “This is why men can’t be men anymore!!” Just true insanity.

Why on earth does decreasing the chances of your kid being seriously injured or killed seem to trigger an entire generation?

Because they’re still little. Your oldest is 7? When he’s in 4th grade, get back to us and let us know how he feels about climbing into a booster seat in front of his friends from school.

My kid will be 12 in a few months and in sixth grade. She still uses a booster, even with friends in the car.

Your exception does not prove the rule that this is common or even necessary or that the kids still sitting in the booster at an advanced age don't mind. Plus the PP was talking about a boy.

Oh please. Because girls are known for being less image conscious than boys and less cognizant of social norms. Lol.

Um calling a boy a baby is a pretty damning insult. An 11 year old boy riding around in a booster would be mocked mercilessly. Girls mock each other for everything, boys are much more selective and this would certainly not go unnoticed.

Unless he is also using diapers I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen a lot of anger and animosity from (mostly) older folks regarding current guidelines for child passenger safety.

My 3.5-year-old is rear-facing carseat and my 7-year-old is in a backed booster with a harness. For some reason my father and father-in-law are extremely bothered by this. When I told my dad that both boys will be in some type of booster in the back seat until they’re 4’11” or 12 (whichever comes first) his head spun and he let out a guttural groan like he had been punched in the stomach.

We follow the recommendations of the NHTSA, CDC’s Child Passenger Safety and our pediatricians office. I don’t see a reason not to? My kids have never complained. They are always comfortable. They’re petite for their age and aren’t prone to car sickness so thank God I don’t have to worry about queasiness with the rear facing. They both will fall asleep in the car if the drive is longer than 30 minutes and so I don’t have to worry about them slumping over. Their peers are in similar carseats and booster seats and the older has never mentioned being embarrassed. Why not? Car accidents and guns are the two leading cause of deaths for children under 16 and I really have very little control about either but if I can give my children a decreased chance of serious injury or death in the event of a car accident why not?

So many older people seem to have survivors bias about it all.

“Back in my day we just sat in the back of the car and we turned out fine!” Well, I’m sure many didn’t and I don’t think car fatalities were nearly as common in the 1950s.

Same thing with helmets. Drives my dad crazy! “You never wore a helmet growing up and you were fine!”

Yeah. Thank God I didn’t crash and hit my head. I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you because I could’ve had a TBI. My kids gonna wear a helmet. Why on earth would they not? So they can look cooler to a bunch of 65-year-old men?

And I’ve seen ads for carseats and booster seats on social media and the comments are similar (yes, I know Facebook comments are always going to be the worst humanity has to offer). But there are so many people actually ANGRY that a 8-year-old is in a booster. Like angry and throwing out wild theories, “they’re trying to make our kids soft!” “This is why men can’t be men anymore!!” Just true insanity.

Why on earth does decreasing the chances of your kid being seriously injured or killed seem to trigger an entire generation?

Because they’re still little. Your oldest is 7? When he’s in 4th grade, get back to us and let us know how he feels about climbing into a booster seat in front of his friends from school.

My kid will be 12 in a few months and in sixth grade. She still uses a booster, even with friends in the car.

Your exception does not prove the rule that this is common or even necessary or that the kids still sitting in the booster at an advanced age don't mind. Plus the PP was talking about a boy.

Oh please. Because girls are known for being less image conscious than boys and less cognizant of social norms. Lol.

Um calling a boy a baby is a pretty damning insult. An 11 year old boy riding around in a booster would be mocked mercilessly. Girls mock each other for everything, boys are much more selective and this would certainly not go unnoticed.

Unless he is also using diapers I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about.

Well, right, because boys at that age aren't riding in boosters. My son is also 12. Haven't seen a friend of his in one for years. Despite the person or two claiming this actually happens there would likely be medical reason for it that they probably aren't admitting. A healthy 12 year old boy does not need a booster. My son and his friends are all over 5 feet tall.

[Anonymous]

OP, so many of these responses prove your point. Why does this topic make people so angry? And why do so many people proudly proclaim that “no one!” puts a kid of X age in a booster seat?

Anyway, my FIL made comments like this when I kept my son RF past age 1. Also asked for years if he was big enough for the front seat yet when he was way too young/small. Oh well. He’s not the parent.

My mom said her mom gave her a hard time about seatbelts, etc, until she pointed out that her mom didn’t have access to the vaccines her kids did when she was young, yet she vaccinated her kids because that option had become available. When you have better options, take advantage of them.