What’s with people getting angry that kids are in carseats longer?

[Anonymous]

My parents and my child-free friends who are in their 40s and 50s find it personally offensive for some reason. They seem to think it’s bordering on child abuse to force my children to ride in car seats. Lots of moaning and groaning from the adults. None from the children.

[Anonymous]

Is this an issue of people caring what you do in your own car, or having an issue with you wanting to put a booster or car seat in their car? I cannot imagine anyone caring about the former. The latter can be an inconvenience if it either takes a long time to install or affects the number of people who can sit in the back seat. I could see that being a mild annoyance, but people have to live with it if its necessary for safety.

[Anonymous]

Just brush over it. Let other roll their eyes. But don't get into the intricate details about height and weight and what CSFTL says.

If asked, just a simple: "He still fits in this seat, so it works for us." "The seatbelt doesn't fit quite right, so we'll stick with the booster." "Back seat only for now."

[Anonymous]

A lot of the Boomers are out of their minds.

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom in my late 40s, and my kids were in car seats/boosters longer than their peers. But i do wonder from a pure public policy perspective if all this long term boostering makes sense. The reality is that car seats and boosters aren’t cheap and they seem to be used as a litmus test to show that poor people/people of color are “bad” parents that in some cases are BREAKING THE LAW. I also wonder how much there is a quiet car seat lobby driving all this.

I totally believe all the numbers about safety, but there are lots of things that would be safer that don’t get enacted into laws that are then used to tax poor people essentially who cannot afford them. But I also own my own business and have to run background checks on people that are hourly wage people. The amount of non-moving violations that are used against poor people because they cannot afford to get a headlight fixed, fix a seatbelt, etc, then they cannot pay the fine and then they get arrested when the cannot pay fines is just unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Lol. I have a toddler and I agree with your FIL and father. I mean good lord life has risk. You’re going to make your 4th grader use a booster? I’d have been suicidal, for real.

[Anonymous]

I’m a car seat tech and parent of a now 11yo. I have not seen the anger and animosity you are talking about. Maybe they’re annoyed because you keel talking about it, or because they want to take your kids somewhere and can’t?
Btw, the guideline height is 4’9 not 4’11.
My kid is over 100lbs but has a time friend same age, but tiny. She should be in a booster if some sort but she’s not. It’s not just age, it’s height too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom in my late 40s, and my kids were in car seats/boosters longer than their peers. But i do wonder from a pure public policy perspective if all this long term boostering makes sense. The reality is that car seats and boosters aren’t cheap and they seem to be used as a litmus test to show that poor people/people of color are “bad” parents that in some cases are BREAKING THE LAW. I also wonder how much there is a quiet car seat lobby driving all this.

I totally believe all the numbers about safety, but there are lots of things that would be safer that don’t get enacted into laws that are then used to tax poor people essentially who cannot afford them. But I also own my own business and have to run background checks on people that are hourly wage people. The amount of non-moving violations that are used against poor people because they cannot afford to get a headlight fixed, fix a seatbelt, etc, then they cannot pay the fine and then they get arrested when the cannot pay fines is just unbelievable.

Infant seats and convertible seats can be expensive (though there are inexpensive options out there that meet all safety standards) but boosters, even high back harnessed boosters, can be much more affordable. I think ours cost like $60? You can get a backless booster for like $15. I’m sure as with anything, there are super high end versions of these that will cost a lot more, but the cheap ones, again, meet all safety standards and will significantly reduce risk of death or injury for a child in a car accident versus just a seat belt that is incorrectly positioned because of their size.

There are also many programs to provide free car seats and boosters to people who can’t afford them— our local fire house runs such a program and we donate to it every year.

While some people might use car seat standards to punish and harass poor people, I really do not think that is the goal behind the standards and recommendations. Those are driven by the fact that advocacy groups don’t want to see kids die in car accidents. Any kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom in my late 40s, and my kids were in car seats/boosters longer than their peers. But i do wonder from a pure public policy perspective if all this long term boostering makes sense. The reality is that car seats and boosters aren’t cheap and they seem to be used as a litmus test to show that poor people/people of color are “bad” parents that in some cases are BREAKING THE LAW. I also wonder how much there is a quiet car seat lobby driving all this.

I totally believe all the numbers about safety, but there are lots of things that would be safer that don’t get enacted into laws that are then used to tax poor people essentially who cannot afford them. But I also own my own business and have to run background checks on people that are hourly wage people. The amount of non-moving violations that are used against poor people because they cannot afford to get a headlight fixed, fix a seatbelt, etc, then they cannot pay the fine and then they get arrested when the cannot pay fines is just unbelievable.

There are lots of ways to get a free booster seat. This link is for DC, but every state in the US has programs like this: https://ddot.dc.gov/page/car-safety-seat-program

[Anonymous]

OP if you feel good about the car seats why are you letting this bother you? Just say “mmm hmmm” and go about your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have yet to see an 11 year old in a high back booster. Good luck with that.

OP did not say her child would be in a high back booster until he was 12. She said in the back seat in some type of booster. Learn how to read.

My 10 year old is still in a booster. Not in a high back booster, just a regular one.

Some type of booster includes all boosters. The meaning is clear, if you know how to read. Even you know how ridiculous the idea of an older kid like that in a high back booster. OP sounds like one of those annoying toddler moms who knows her kid will never be on screens. Or eat processed foods.

Just got done watching X-Men while eating our Happy Meals actually. Not sure why you assumed I’m this overprotective crunchy Mom because I value car safety.

But since we’re making assumptions here, you sound like someone whose kids won’t make it to 16.

DP. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have yet to see an 11 year old in a high back booster. Good luck with that.

OP did not say her child would be in a high back booster until he was 12. She said in the back seat in some type of booster. Learn how to read.

My 10 year old is still in a booster. Not in a high back booster, just a regular one.

Some type of booster includes all boosters. The meaning is clear, if you know how to read. Even you know how ridiculous the idea of an older kid like that in a high back booster. OP sounds like one of those annoying toddler moms who knows her kid will never be on screens. Or eat processed foods.

Just got done watching X-Men while eating our Happy Meals actually. Not sure why you assumed I’m this overprotective crunchy Mom because I value car safety.

But since we’re making assumptions here, you sound like someone whose kids won’t make it to 16.

DP. That’s a really cruel thing to say.

+1, wtf.

[Anonymous]

People are annoyed by you (aka "angry kids are in carsest longer") b/c you come across as sanctimonious in your post so I imagine in real life you're really over the top in your parenting ways.

dwiw, my kids RF until 2, booster until 7/8, front seat at 12.
My kids are on the taller and heavier side of average. Maybe your kids are skin and bones and therefore can't be safely restrained with regular seatbelts .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen a lot of anger and animosity from (mostly) older folks regarding current guidelines for child passenger safety.

My 3.5-year-old is rear-facing carseat and my 7-year-old is in a backed booster with a harness. For some reason my father and father-in-law are extremely bothered by this. When I told my dad that both boys will be in some type of booster in the back seat until they’re 4’11” or 12 (whichever comes first) his head spun and he let out a guttural groan like he had been punched in the stomach.

We follow the recommendations of the NHTSA, CDC’s Child Passenger Safety and our pediatricians office. I don’t see a reason not to? My kids have never complained. They are always comfortable. They’re petite for their age and aren’t prone to car sickness so thank God I don’t have to worry about queasiness with the rear facing. They both will fall asleep in the car if the drive is longer than 30 minutes and so I don’t have to worry about them slumping over. Their peers are in similar carseats and booster seats and the older has never mentioned being embarrassed. Why not? Car accidents and guns are the two leading cause of deaths for children under 16 and I really have very little control about either but if I can give my children a decreased chance of serious injury or death in the event of a car accident why not?

So many older people seem to have survivors bias about it all.

“Back in my day we just sat in the back of the car and we turned out fine!” Well, I’m sure many didn’t and I don’t think car fatalities were nearly as common in the 1950s.

Same thing with helmets. Drives my dad crazy! “You never wore a helmet growing up and you were fine!”

Yeah. Thank God I didn’t crash and hit my head. I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you because I could’ve had a TBI. My kids gonna wear a helmet. Why on earth would they not? So they can look cooler to a bunch of 65-year-old men?

And I’ve seen ads for carseats and booster seats on social media and the comments are similar (yes, I know Facebook comments are always going to be the worst humanity has to offer). But there are so many people actually ANGRY that a 8-year-old is in a booster. Like angry and throwing out wild theories, “they’re trying to make our kids soft!” “This is why men can’t be men anymore!!” Just true insanity.

Why on earth does decreasing the chances of your kid being seriously injured or killed seem to trigger an entire generation?

Because they’re still little. Your oldest is 7? When he’s in 4th grade, get back to us and let us know how he feels about climbing into a booster seat in front of his friends from school.

Or when he wants to ride home with a friend from sports or go with his friends somewhere- and mom either says no it starts uninstalling and installing booster seats in the other parent’s car

[Anonymous]

I’ve not had this experience OP and for the record, the data is clear, child mortality (and mortality in general) has plummeted thanks to seat belts, car seats and air bags.