Missing out on childhood for tournaments, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would your kid have had a happy (or happier) childhood if they’d never been introduced to their sport or their travel aspect of it?

In someways, some kids (travel sports kids, elite musical kids) today are more like pre-1930s kids when they didn’t really have much of a childhood or time to be teenagers. teenagers (as we think of them) pretty much evolved in the 1950s. By 16 up until mis 1900s you were expected to work. Today that regression is seen a lot in the youth travel sports world. Heck, we’re seeing more academies pop up where sports are emphasizes more and school is scheduled around sports training. This was limited to a few sports like figure skating, gymnastics, ballet in the US. Now we more and more of this for baseball, hockey, and tennis.

But there is a HUGE gulf between a local kid on a local travel soccer team and a kid shipped off to IMG Academy. Practicing 2-3 times a week plus a game just isn't that much time that kids are "losing their childhood."

What travel teams are you on with only 2-3x a week? The ones my kids have been on require at least 5 days starting at 8yo.

EYBL basketball team - 3x a week practice.

+ Almost all travel soccer teams.

Sounds more like house leagues requiring more money and further travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Likely unpopular opinion here, but coming to this from a perspective of having older kids.

Looking back at it (I have a senior and a sophomore) I wish we had just stuck with rec sports for our athlete for so many reasons.

First, our child who did/does not play travel sports had to get dragged around to tournaments all year round. He is not a complainer and we took advantage of that. So wrong of us.

Our travel sport athlete (basketball and baseball and developmental soccer so not travel, but not rec) was under such pressure to perform by coaches (especially in baseball) and it was not good. When Covid hit we quit the club sports and he now plays three seasons of sports for his high school and is so much happier. He's playing for the right reasons. He also even tried a new sport in high school that he is loving.

People ask us all the time if he will play one of his sports in college. I think we would like to see him continue a sport at a D3 school if if it's a match in all ways (academics, location, socially, size, etc.) because he thrives with structure, but it's up to him.

I also think about all the travel and other experiences we missed out on when our kids were young.

Your child is only a child once. Let them be a child and have lots of varied experiences.

In my opinion, travel/club sports are the worst thing to happen in youth sports. It's insane that there are travel teams for 1st graders. As they say, "It's all about the Benjamins baby."

It’s worse than you think. There are travel teams for FIVE YEAR OLDS. I also think travel sports have not been good for kids, they also contribute to decline in our communities bc kids are always elsewhere rather building binds at home. It’s always about them — getting them to their practices and games which removes parents from the community too.

There are few kids who will get college scholarships and many of those scholarships won’t pay for a significant part of tuition for the vast majority
(97+%) of college athletes.

[Anonymous]

Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

NP and I agree. We don’t take our other child to games or tournaments unless they want to go. We also take the same vacations we did before our child joined a travel team. There may be teams that feel like they own your child and all their time, but you don’t have to choose that. We didn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

NP and I agree. We don’t take our other child to games or tournaments unless they want to go. We also take the same vacations we did before our child joined a travel team. There may be teams that feel like they own your child and all their time, but you don’t have to choose that. We didn’t.

If anything, we probably veer harder towards making sure the non-travel kid is never forced miss something or forgo an activity because of travel kid's schedule.

[Anonymous]

Really most of my kids friends do sports together and we all try coordinate bday parties around it.

These days I’m hosting sleepover parties and often try touch base with parents on a good date beforehand that will work for most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

NP and I agree. We don’t take our other child to games or tournaments unless they want to go. We also take the same vacations we did before our child joined a travel team. There may be teams that feel like they own your child and all their time, but you don’t have to choose that. We didn’t.

If this doesn’t demonstrate that sports are now basically a thing for the UMC — particularly those with multiple kids and vacations on top of that, I don’t know does.

[Anonymous]

NP. Personally I hated the endless rounds of birthday parties. At least with travel sports, you got to travel with your kid. Birthday parties were just boring and yet blocked weekend afternoons.

We opted out of birthday parties early on. Didn’t attend nearly any, and didn’t throw them ourselves. It was so nice once we made that decision!

[Anonymous]

I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Yes and we are seeing the issues played out in STEM. You need downtime, time to get bored and figure out how to entertain yourself without help, are all necessary for engineering and other STEM fields. Kids are natural tinkerers and they don’t have enough time to truly dabble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

NP and I agree. We don’t take our other child to games or tournaments unless they want to go. We also take the same vacations we did before our child joined a travel team. There may be teams that feel like they own your child and all their time, but you don’t have to choose that. We didn’t.

If this doesn’t demonstrate that sports are now basically a thing for the UMC — particularly those with multiple kids and vacations on top of that, I don’t know does.

PP here. Sorry, should I apologize for being UMC? Or apologize for taking my spring or summer trips? Or did you want me to raise my children the way my husband was raised- not a single birthday party ever, no sports at all, not even attending parent-teacher conferences?

[Anonymous]

I don't get why OP and others think an invitation is anything more than just that. You choose to have a party and the parents can choose to attend or decline. For a very close friend, depending on what it is we might go and skip the event/activity we have planned but for a casual friend or someone we have never seen outside of school, probably not. My child does music and sports and some things are mandatory. Should they miss a concert and lose their spot in orchestra to attend your child's party? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Yes and we are seeing the issues played out in STEM. You need downtime, time to get bored and figure out how to entertain yourself without help, are all necessary for engineering and other STEM fields. Kids are natural tinkerers and they don’t have enough time to truly dabble.

For this issue I worry more about the kids always on a screen than I do about travel athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Yes and we are seeing the issues played out in STEM. You need downtime, time to get bored and figure out how to entertain yourself without help, are all necessary for engineering and other STEM fields. Kids are natural tinkerers and they don’t have enough time to truly dabble.

This isn’t a STEM issue. I grew up in the free play, go outside and entertain yourself era of the 80s and tinkering was never something I did and STEM was never a strength or an interest.