Missing out on childhood for tournaments, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It has been interesting reading replies.

To further color in the situation, this bday party is for a very small group of best friends. We changed the date when we were told it conflicted with friend's out-of-town tournament.

DC asked friend if the LOCAL tournament that happens to be the next day after our rescheduled party was a big deal, a championship type tournament, etc. It is not.

So my point is simply that I am saddened that "I have to get my rest for a run-of-the-mill local tournament game instead of fully participating in a best friend's small party that was moved to accommodate me in the first place" is where we are as a society.

I understand travel sports, I understand the commitment, I understand all of the points PPs have made. I still stand by my lament -- and those of others -- that our youth sports culture has overtaken so much.

I want to be gentle here, but I don’t think the issue here is the sports. This is what you are being told. But I think the truth is more complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It has been interesting reading replies.

To further color in the situation, this bday party is for a very small group of best friends. We changed the date when we were told it conflicted with friend's out-of-town tournament.

DC asked friend if the LOCAL tournament that happens to be the next day after our rescheduled party was a big deal, a championship type tournament, etc. It is not.

So my point is simply that I am saddened that "I have to get my rest for a run-of-the-mill local tournament game instead of fully participating in a best friend's small party that was moved to accommodate me in the first place" is where we are as a society.

I understand travel sports, I understand the commitment, I understand all of the points PPs have made. I still stand by my lament -- and those of others -- that our youth sports culture has overtaken so much.

I want to be gentle here, but I don’t think the issue here is the sports. This is what you are being told. But I think the truth is more complicated.

Same. Unless this is a sleepover (which in our circle means a kid with something early the next day might just hang out for the evening but sleep at home, and everyone is happy), this doesn’t seem to make sense.

[Anonymous]

OP again. No, I promise it's nothing else going on. I can see why you might think that is the case, but it 100% is not, and I can say that with absolute certainty. You'll just have to trust me on that, I guess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. No, I promise it's nothing else going on. I can see why you might think that is the case, but it 100% is not, and I can say that with absolute certainty. You'll just have to trust me on that, I guess!

You being fooled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. No, I promise it's nothing else going on. I can see why you might think that is the case, but it 100% is not, and I can say that with absolute certainty. You'll just have to trust me on that, I guess!

I’m sorry, but I think you are wrong here. I’ve been around the block with competitive athletics and what you describe doesn’t make sense unless there is something else going on.

I know it is probably hard to absorb that, but I would gently suggest that you think about this relationship.

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this kindly. My kid’s preferred birthday celebration is a sleepover with a small group. We’ve had girls who only came for the evening because of sports the next day, or dance, or Girl Scouts, or just because they weren’t comfortable with it.

It never occurred to me to be upset by that, or to be anything but glad they were able to make it for part. I hope you’re able to reframe this so the disappointment doesn’t rub off on your kid.

[Anonymous]

What happened to these activities being a part of childhood and not taking it over? I'm inclined to not allow intense activities. Kids shouldn't miss out on things for one activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to these activities being a part of childhood and not taking it over? I'm inclined to not allow intense activities. Kids shouldn't miss out on things for one activity.

So your kids won't do an activity and will instead sit around waiting for a birthday invitation? That doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to these activities being a part of childhood and not taking it over? I'm inclined to not allow intense activities. Kids shouldn't miss out on things for one activity.

So your kids won't do an activity and will instead sit around waiting for a birthday invitation? That doesn't make a lot of sense.

I didn't say that. Where did you get that from my comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its insane to drive six hours away for a kids soccer game.

And 99 percent of these kids won’t play high school let alone college

Traveling to games is fun! My kids love it. We have a lot of parent friends now on the team, so we have fun too. It’s not every weekend; there is still LOTS of time for other things, down time, etc. No one thinks their kid will play in college, it is enough to enjoy it in the present. If you don’t think it sounds appealing then don’t do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I mean this kindly. My kid’s preferred birthday celebration is a sleepover with a small group. We’ve had girls who only came for the evening because of sports the next day, or dance, or Girl Scouts, or just because they weren’t comfortable with it.

It never occurred to me to be upset by that, or to be anything but glad they were able to make it for part. I hope you’re able to reframe this so the disappointment doesn’t rub off on your kid.

Agree. Plenty of kids don’t sleepover for other reasons. I don’t think I will allow mine too, unless I know the other family well. I had fun at most of the sleepovers I attended as a kid, but there were some semi-sketchy occurrences, and there are even more ways to get in trouble now (screens)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I mean this kindly. My kid’s preferred birthday celebration is a sleepover with a small group. We’ve had girls who only came for the evening because of sports the next day, or dance, or Girl Scouts, or just because they weren’t comfortable with it.

It never occurred to me to be upset by that, or to be anything but glad they were able to make it for part. I hope you’re able to reframe this so the disappointment doesn’t rub off on your kid.

+1

OPs response seems a bit off to me. It’s just a birthday party.

[Anonymous]

OP, I used to think like you until my kid upped their commitment to their sport at 11, joining the travel baseball life. It is what he lives and breathes. Conveniently, all of his middle school friends also participate on travel teams, so everyone understands the limitations that come with it. He still goes to birthday parties, social events, etc; it's just that practices/games/tournaments come first.

I can see that if the friend group is part travel team kids and part rec team kids, that could be confusing for those not living the life. But my kid loves it and wouldn't trade it for anything. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Idk, personally I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on anything of give certain things up for extracurriculars of any kind, not just sports. But, that's just me, I guess other kids are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I used to think like you until my kid upped their commitment to their sport at 11, joining the travel baseball life. It is what he lives and breathes. Conveniently, all of his middle school friends also participate on travel teams, so everyone understands the limitations that come with it. He still goes to birthday parties, social events, etc; it's just that practices/games/tournaments come first.

I can see that if the friend group is part travel team kids and part rec team kids, that could be confusing for those not living the life. But my kid loves it and wouldn't trade it for anything. Such is life.

No you love it. Your kid does not know any thing else.