Missing out on childhood for tournaments, etc

[Anonymous]

Some kids WANT that though. I don't regret anything about my childhood where I was in community theatre and sometimes the only kid in a play, missing out on birthday parties and other stuff with kids, to be at play rehearsals. I was happy, because I was doing what I loved and what made my heart full. Sure, I had fun with friends, but it was nothing like the rush of being on stage or learning to hold a note for 10 seconds.

[Anonymous]

When you sign on to a travel team, you commit to being at all the games unless there is an emergency. A rec game can be missed, but skipping a travel game for a birthday party is unfair to the team, and I would not let my kid do that. And there is lesson in there - when you make a commitment to something, you keep it.

[Anonymous]

Parents living through their kids: sad!

[Anonymous]

My 10 yo has decided on her own that she doesn't want to do slumber parties any more. She will stay until 9:00 or 10:00pm, then come home and sleep in her own bed. She is an athlete and she really cares about sports - and knows that if she stays up all night at a party, she won't be ready to compete the next day. Shrug. I was never in this position as a kid, so who know what I would have done, but this is her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Putting this in sports forum because I think it belongs here.

My kids are as competitive as they come, doing travel sports, and generally very involved in their sports. So I get it. But I am finding more and more that parents have their kids skip out on birthday parties for local tournaments. Or missing the slumber party portion because they want their kids to be ready to compete the next day. They respond immediately to an invitation before the kids are even home from school, so the parents are making the choices.

To what end? These are simply local tournaments, and there will be another one next weekend. How sad that these competitions trump absolutely everything.

Sports have season, OP. It’s weird to think in such absolutes. Are you normally a rigid person?

[Anonymous]

I give my kids the choice in these situations. They usually choose the tournament because they are competitive. Occasionally they will choose the birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Putting this in sports forum because I think it belongs here.

My kids are as competitive as they come, doing travel sports, and generally very involved in their sports. So I get it. But I am finding more and more that parents have their kids skip out on birthday parties for local tournaments. Or missing the slumber party portion because they want their kids to be ready to compete the next day. They respond immediately to an invitation before the kids are even home from school, so the parents are making the choices.

To what end? These are simply local tournaments, and there will be another one next weekend. How sad that these competitions trump absolutely everything.

If your kids are skipping tournaments, they certainly aren't doing very high-level sports. So maybe you don't get it?

[Anonymous]

Travel sports teams require a different level of commitment and, no, we do not skip "regular" games, let alone tournaments, for things like a birthday party. Rec games are a little different, but even then, it's an "it depends" or come late to the party scenario. The sports are a priority for our kids and that's why we made a higher level of commitment with travel.

[Anonymous]

We don't skip any games for birthday parties - rec or travel. We made a commitment to a team. We try to make some of birthday parties when there is a conflict. We wouldn't even consider missing a game for a birthday party, and I assumed everyone comes out the same way on this?

[Anonymous]

This is the sports forum but my kid does community theater and we agree upfront very clearly that the kid won't miss any rehearsals (let alone a performance). You have to submit dates you will miss prior to even auditioning. A team sport is the same if you're doing it at a higher level. The group is counting on you and upfront you are told it needs to be your first priority.

You can question whether parents should allow kids to pursue these activities. But once they're in, they're in.

I tell my kids you need to finish the commitment you made once you've made it. But once the show or season is over, fine to prioritize other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the sports forum but my kid does community theater and we agree upfront very clearly that the kid won't miss any rehearsals (let alone a performance). You have to submit dates you will miss prior to even auditioning. A team sport is the same if you're doing it at a higher level. The group is counting on you and upfront you are told it needs to be your first priority.

You can question whether parents should allow kids to pursue these activities. But once they're in, they're in.

I tell my kids you need to finish the commitment you made once you've made it. But once the show or season is over, fine to prioritize other things.

And finishing the commitment means not showing up for a full weekend of shows (or games) with 4 hours of crappy sleep after a slumber party. I'd say no to that too.

[Anonymous]

My son has 10X as much fun with his friends at tournaments than he does with his school “friends.” It’s easy to look at the life we had and/or the life we want for our kids and think that’s ideal, but everybody is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a kid in travel sports? We signed a contract saying the kid will be there. There aren’t a lot of extra players so if two kids skip, the whole team would potentially forfeit. We knew this going in and so did our kids. I would it let my kid skip a tournament unless it was for a very best friend. Even then, I’d really have to plan it out. My kids love their sports.

This. Aside from the fact that my kids love to play (especially tournaments), the team and people who run it are screwed if several players can’t show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has 10X as much fun with his friends at tournaments than he does with his school “friends.” It’s easy to look at the life we had and/or the life we want for our kids and think that’s ideal, but everybody is different.

+1 My kids prefer hanging out with their teammates. The Panera in between games is more fun than most birthday parties, and the out of town hotel pool is much more fun. Now that they're older, the spend much more time texting with teammates than school friends.

[Anonymous]

My son does travel baseball and he would not miss a tournament for a birthday party.

What makes it a little tricky for us, personally, is that we’re a smaller kind of more independent team so our coach picks the tournaments we go to. He has a calendar with potential ones but nothing is set in stone for awhile. So it does feel like holding weekends open…very hard to make plans. Same with games- the good thing for us is that they always plays Sundays so you know Saturdays are free but you do have to keep your entire Sundays open while you wait for game times.