Why do men only date women they’re attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a tall 5’8 woman and date men who are 5’9 and taller. Anything that’s taller than me works. Just not attracted to anyone shorter than myself. But I don’t see why a 5’5 woman wouldn’t want to date 5’7 man. Really ?

Anonymous wrote:Not all men like tall women so it sounds like really wishy-washy thinking. If I was 5'5 woman I wouldn't care for my partner to be 6' tall. I would date 5'7+ men

But you're not a 5'5 woman, so you don't know for sure if that's what's you'd choose. Short women can be insecure about their heights too, and some may choose to overcompensate for that insecurity by looking for an extremely tall partner.

Also, imagine growing up as a short girl and into a short woman. People treat you patronizingly for decades because they assume you're younger than you look. You are told that tall men are the physical ideal according to society, but you should not date them because you're short. You should not date tall men because only tall women deserve to date tall men. You should stick to dating the men that average height and tall women refuse to date. How would you feel? And then you enter the real world and discover that men of all heights are perfectly happy to date you, and may even prefer to date someone of your height.

FWIW, I married someone of average height because I know the pain of being short and didn't want that for my kids.

I’ve literally never experienced any of this as a short woman. Nobody has ever told me I should stick to dating short men. Lol.

Heh me neither - I'm five feet on a good day, and have never experienced anyone telling me who I should and shouldn't date. Though when I dated a guy who was 6'4'' we definitely looked weird together.

My dad is short and my mom is tall. They worked out great! Happily married 53 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men place physical attractiveness above all else. I’m not saying a man will always choose a 9 over a 7, but there’s a minimum threshold that if a woman doesn’t meet she has zero chance with men who have options, regardless of her other qualities. Men can more easily make up for physical shortcomings with money and personality

You don't see the contradiction in your post. Men do have a "minimum threshold" but that does not mean they put physical attractiveness above all else. If he is choosing among women who are above the threshold, then he will take into account other factors. For example, many men will likely choose "well educated professional who is less physically hot" over "poorly educated waitress who is physically extremely hot" - at least for marital purposes, heh heh.

No they still do prioritize physical attraction above all else. In your example he would pick the educated professional who was less hot than the waitress but only if the professional was still decently hot. If a man can get a 9, he might settle for a 7 if she’s got other things going for her, but it’s going to be hard for a 5 or 6 to compete with a 9 regardless of her other qualities.

[Anonymous]

This thread is ridiculous, it border on the "we must have equality in the looks department" so that I have access to all men and they should be required to date me because I said so. JFC, dating is something that has been around for a very long time, and somehow, people seem to find their matches and move along happily. Maybe Op and others should look in the mirror and not look at their physical image but at what lies underneath to understand why certain men might not be interested in dating them. A man does not have to date you because you thing it makes everything fair.

[Anonymous]

Men are simple beings. It just is not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

A great way to complicate your life in a very bad way is to date a man who doesn't really think you're attractive. There is no way that ends well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men place physical attractiveness above all else. I’m not saying a man will always choose a 9 over a 7, but there’s a minimum threshold that if a woman doesn’t meet she has zero chance with men who have options, regardless of her other qualities. Men can more easily make up for physical shortcomings with money and personality

You don't see the contradiction in your post. Men do have a "minimum threshold" but that does not mean they put physical attractiveness above all else. If he is choosing among women who are above the threshold, then he will take into account other factors. For example, many men will likely choose "well educated professional who is less physically hot" over "poorly educated waitress who is physically extremely hot" - at least for marital purposes, heh heh.

No they still do prioritize physical attraction above all else. In your example he would pick the educated professional who was less hot than the waitress but only if the professional was still decently hot. If a man can get a 9, he might settle for a 7 if she’s got other things going for her, but it’s going to be hard for a 5 or 6 to compete with a 9 regardless of her other qualities.

I think your range is too narrow. If a man can get a 9 he will take a 5. He would rather have a 9 or an 8 but will drop lower. I agree with a PP that says if there is something about the woman that he loves then he will go lower.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and would never date a man I'm not attracted to. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t people wear mumus everyday? Why don’t people plant more kudzu instead of flowers? Why does anyone do anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. It just is not that complicated.

This, in a nutshell. That being said, I have seen the most handsome, successful men with the what appear to be perfect women, ditch that woman after many years and marry a rather homely looking woman in place of the perfect woman (not in my eyes, but in many). Go figure, you just never know what is the true attraction between two people. I guess it really is not all physical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men place physical attractiveness above all else. I’m not saying a man will always choose a 9 over a 7, but there’s a minimum threshold that if a woman doesn’t meet she has zero chance with men who have options, regardless of her other qualities. Men can more easily make up for physical shortcomings with money and personality

You don't see the contradiction in your post. Men do have a "minimum threshold" but that does not mean they put physical attractiveness above all else. If he is choosing among women who are above the threshold, then he will take into account other factors. For example, many men will likely choose "well educated professional who is less physically hot" over "poorly educated waitress who is physically extremely hot" - at least for marital purposes, heh heh.

No they still do prioritize physical attraction above all else. In your example he would pick the educated professional who was less hot than the waitress but only if the professional was still decently hot. If a man can get a 9, he might settle for a 7 if she’s got other things going for her, but it’s going to be hard for a 5 or 6 to compete with a 9 regardless of her other qualities.

I think your range is too narrow. If a man can get a 9 he will take a 5. He would rather have a 9 or an 8 but will drop lower. I agree with a PP that says if there is something about the woman that he loves then he will go lower.

Men do not think in terms of I can date a 9 but I will settle for this 5. They just date women who they find attractive and they enjoy being around. What women find attractive in other women is not what men find attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. It just is not that complicated.

This, in a nutshell. That being said, I have seen the most handsome, successful men with the what appear to be perfect women, ditch that woman after many years and marry a rather homely looking woman in place of the perfect woman (not in my eyes, but in many). Go figure, you just never know what is the true attraction between two people. I guess it really is not all physical.

Men like to be praised. Sometimes hot wife #1 just doesn't have the strength to keep up with her DH's ego's needs. Downgrading can make it possible for a man to continue to receive the praise he needs to go on.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to read the 9 pages, but I'm a woman and I wanted to say I've never dated a man I wasn't attracted to. I've been married for a long time now, but every guy I was with, including my husband, was because I had the hots for them first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. It just is not that complicated.

This, in a nutshell. That being said, I have seen the most handsome, successful men with the what appear to be perfect women, ditch that woman after many years and marry a rather homely looking woman in place of the perfect woman (not in my eyes, but in many). Go figure, you just never know what is the true attraction between two people. I guess it really is not all physical.

Men like to be praised. Sometimes hot wife #1 just doesn't have the strength to keep up with her DH's ego's needs. Downgrading can make it possible for a man to continue to receive the praise he needs to go on.

You don't think highly of men. I can tell because I don't, either. I'd like to think I'm wrong, but...

[Anonymous]

How insulted would anyone feel if they found out they were dating someone who doesn’t find them attractive?

Stupid premise from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. It just is not that complicated.

This, in a nutshell. That being said, I have seen the most handsome, successful men with the what appear to be perfect women, ditch that woman after many years and marry a rather homely looking woman in place of the perfect woman (not in my eyes, but in many). Go figure, you just never know what is the true attraction between two people. I guess it really is not all physical.

Men like to be praised. Sometimes hot wife #1 just doesn't have the strength to keep up with her DH's ego's needs. Downgrading can make it possible for a man to continue to receive the praise he needs to go on.

Lady, you are unhinged from reality. Rule #1 of being a man is no one appreciates or praises you, least of all your female partner.