Officially done with *preferences* of picky eaters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

Ahh, so even if picky eaters enjoy the company and don’t make a scene or any trouble about the food, they’re persona non grata at your exclusive events. Noted. And it confirms what I’ve thought about people judging picky eaters - the ones, again, who keep their preferences to themselves because it’s no one else’s issue.

It is what it is. No thanks, I’m not going to go to a lot of trouble and expense only to have someone sit and push food around the plate. I’ll still enjoy your company—in a setting with lots of food choices where you can make a plate. But for dinner parties, I prefer not to waste my time, money and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. You can be “there for just the company” in other scenarios in my home. Dinner parties are for grown-ups who appreciate the time, effort and expense it takes to make a lovely menu for adults. I don’t want to make a lot of effort for someone who is just going to eat a roll; you’re taking up the seat of someone who can handle a nice dinner party with adults.

Yep. You have confirmed what I thought. It is what it is and you are what you are. Even people with preferences - preferences that they don’t push on you or make your problem at all - are unwelcome at your table. Noted.

I'm not the poster you're quoting -but it's absurd to me that you think you've had some sort of "gotcha" moment here or that the poster you're responding to said something outrageous or arrogant.

If someone doesn't appreciate something, it doesn't make sense to spend your time or money getting it for them. I wouldn't buy my friend who is happy with her Mazda a Maserati. If my daughter likes swimming, I'm not going to buy her a horse because I like riding. This is exactly the same - the poster is saying she won't waste her time or money making a meal for people who visibly don't enjoy it. She's not saying she's ostracizing them from her life for not participating fully in dinner parties - she's saying she's going to stop inviting them to dinner parties. What is so controversial about this?

So a dinner party is just OP’s chance to show off her cooking? It’s not for socializing? Because that’s the part I’d enjoy.

And what’s so controversial about this? OP’s rant. “Yes, this is just a rant. No, I am not talking about food allergies, food restrictions based on religion, actual medical conditions, or even those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan *who take care of themselves and don’t make a scene.* […]” but now she admits that even those of us who take care of ourselves and don’t make a scene are unwelcome. That’s the gotcha.

I hate being picky. I hate it. I have overcome it in many ways but have “lost” other foods to random things (for example several foods to associations from them being the last food I ate before actively vomiting from food poisoning). I am on the spectrum and truly cannot overcome some of my inability to eat foods.

And now to know that no matter how little fuss I make, if I’m not part of team “eat like everyone else” I’m not welcome at all. Gee, what about that makes me sad.

You need to get over yourself. Really. You don't have to be invited to every single little thing in order to have friends and family who enjoy your company. But dinner parties hosted by people who love to cook are for people who love food/food and wine--it's a special interest, a hobby, a shared experience. It's not for you, and that's OK. Just like book club is not for people who don't like to read, and game night is not for people (like me) who hate board games and charades and stuff, and knitting or quilting parties are for people who enjoy those things. Dinner parties are people who love food and cooking to the point where it is a passion, a hobby. You can still be invited to parties and holidays and other things where it is about spending time together and celebrating. Dinner parties are different. Really do grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

Ahh, so even if picky eaters enjoy the company and don’t make a scene or any trouble about the food, they’re persona non grata at your exclusive events. Noted. And it confirms what I’ve thought about people judging picky eaters - the ones, again, who keep their preferences to themselves because it’s no one else’s issue.

It is what it is. No thanks, I’m not going to go to a lot of trouble and expense only to have someone sit and push food around the plate. I’ll still enjoy your company—in a setting with lots of food choices where you can make a plate. But for dinner parties, I prefer not to waste my time, money and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. You can be “there for just the company” in other scenarios in my home. Dinner parties are for grown-ups who appreciate the time, effort and expense it takes to make a lovely menu for adults. I don’t want to make a lot of effort for someone who is just going to eat a roll; you’re taking up the seat of someone who can handle a nice dinner party with adults.

Yep. You have confirmed what I thought. It is what it is and you are what you are. Even people with preferences - preferences that they don’t push on you or make your problem at all - are unwelcome at your table. Noted.

I'm not the poster you're quoting -but it's absurd to me that you think you've had some sort of "gotcha" moment here or that the poster you're responding to said something outrageous or arrogant.

If someone doesn't appreciate something, it doesn't make sense to spend your time or money getting it for them. I wouldn't buy my friend who is happy with her Mazda a Maserati. If my daughter likes swimming, I'm not going to buy her a horse because I like riding. This is exactly the same - the poster is saying she won't waste her time or money making a meal for people who visibly don't enjoy it. She's not saying she's ostracizing them from her life for not participating fully in dinner parties - she's saying she's going to stop inviting them to dinner parties. What is so controversial about this?

So a dinner party is just OP’s chance to show off her cooking? It’s not for socializing? Because that’s the part I’d enjoy.

And what’s so controversial about this? OP’s rant. “Yes, this is just a rant. No, I am not talking about food allergies, food restrictions based on religion, actual medical conditions, or even those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan *who take care of themselves and don’t make a scene.* […]” but now she admits that even those of us who take care of ourselves and don’t make a scene are unwelcome. That’s the gotcha.

I hate being picky. I hate it. I have overcome it in many ways but have “lost” other foods to random things (for example several foods to associations from them being the last food I ate before actively vomiting from food poisoning). I am on the spectrum and truly cannot overcome some of my inability to eat foods.

And now to know that no matter how little fuss I make, if I’m not part of team “eat like everyone else” I’m not welcome at all. Gee, what about that makes me sad.

You need to get over yourself. Really. You don't have to be invited to every single little thing in order to have friends and family who enjoy your company. But dinner parties hosted by people who love to cook are for people who love food/food and wine--it's a special interest, a hobby, a shared experience. It's not for you, and that's OK. Just like book club is not for people who don't like to read, and game night is not for people (like me) who hate board games and charades and stuff, and knitting or quilting parties are for people who enjoy those things. Dinner parties are people who love food and cooking to the point where it is a passion, a hobby. You can still be invited to parties and holidays and other things where it is about spending time together and celebrating. Dinner parties are different. Really do grow up.

OMG so very much THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

Ahh, so even if picky eaters enjoy the company and don’t make a scene or any trouble about the food, they’re persona non grata at your exclusive events. Noted. And it confirms what I’ve thought about people judging picky eaters - the ones, again, who keep their preferences to themselves because it’s no one else’s issue.

It is what it is. No thanks, I’m not going to go to a lot of trouble and expense only to have someone sit and push food around the plate. I’ll still enjoy your company—in a setting with lots of food choices where you can make a plate. But for dinner parties, I prefer not to waste my time, money and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. You can be “there for just the company” in other scenarios in my home. Dinner parties are for grown-ups who appreciate the time, effort and expense it takes to make a lovely menu for adults. I don’t want to make a lot of effort for someone who is just going to eat a roll; you’re taking up the seat of someone who can handle a nice dinner party with adults.

Yep. You have confirmed what I thought. It is what it is and you are what you are. Even people with preferences - preferences that they don’t push on you or make your problem at all - are unwelcome at your table. Noted.

I'm not the poster you're quoting -but it's absurd to me that you think you've had some sort of "gotcha" moment here or that the poster you're responding to said something outrageous or arrogant.

If someone doesn't appreciate something, it doesn't make sense to spend your time or money getting it for them. I wouldn't buy my friend who is happy with her Mazda a Maserati. If my daughter likes swimming, I'm not going to buy her a horse because I like riding. This is exactly the same - the poster is saying she won't waste her time or money making a meal for people who visibly don't enjoy it. She's not saying she's ostracizing them from her life for not participating fully in dinner parties - she's saying she's going to stop inviting them to dinner parties. What is so controversial about this?

So a dinner party is just OP’s chance to show off her cooking? It’s not for socializing? Because that’s the part I’d enjoy.

And what’s so controversial about this? OP’s rant. “Yes, this is just a rant. No, I am not talking about food allergies, food restrictions based on religion, actual medical conditions, or even those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan *who take care of themselves and don’t make a scene.* […]” but now she admits that even those of us who take care of ourselves and don’t make a scene are unwelcome. That’s the gotcha.

I hate being picky. I hate it. I have overcome it in many ways but have “lost” other foods to random things (for example several foods to associations from them being the last food I ate before actively vomiting from food poisoning). I am on the spectrum and truly cannot overcome some of my inability to eat foods.

And now to know that no matter how little fuss I make, if I’m not part of team “eat like everyone else” I’m not welcome at all. Gee, what about that makes me sad.

You need to get over yourself. Really. You don't have to be invited to every single little thing in order to have friends and family who enjoy your company. But dinner parties hosted by people who love to cook are for people who love food/food and wine--it's a special interest, a hobby, a shared experience. It's not for you, and that's OK. Just like book club is not for people who don't like to read, and game night is not for people (like me) who hate board games and charades and stuff, and knitting or quilting parties are for people who enjoy those things. Dinner parties are people who love food and cooking to the point where it is a passion, a hobby. You can still be invited to parties and holidays and other things where it is about spending time together and celebrating. Dinner parties are different. Really do grow up.

OMG so very much THIS!

+1 People are allowed to have interests and have events related to those interests. Some of my neighbors who I'm close to like to go for runs together. I don't like to run so I'm not offended when I'm not included.even though I enjoy their company. Some people really enjoy cooking and want to stretch their skills by hosting dinner parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

Ahh, so even if picky eaters enjoy the company and don’t make a scene or any trouble about the food, they’re persona non grata at your exclusive events. Noted. And it confirms what I’ve thought about people judging picky eaters - the ones, again, who keep their preferences to themselves because it’s no one else’s issue.

It is what it is. No thanks, I’m not going to go to a lot of trouble and expense only to have someone sit and push food around the plate. I’ll still enjoy your company—in a setting with lots of food choices where you can make a plate. But for dinner parties, I prefer not to waste my time, money and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. You can be “there for just the company” in other scenarios in my home. Dinner parties are for grown-ups who appreciate the time, effort and expense it takes to make a lovely menu for adults. I don’t want to make a lot of effort for someone who is just going to eat a roll; you’re taking up the seat of someone who can handle a nice dinner party with adults.

Yep. You have confirmed what I thought. It is what it is and you are what you are. Even people with preferences - preferences that they don’t push on you or make your problem at all - are unwelcome at your table. Noted.

I'm not the poster you're quoting -but it's absurd to me that you think you've had some sort of "gotcha" moment here or that the poster you're responding to said something outrageous or arrogant.

If someone doesn't appreciate something, it doesn't make sense to spend your time or money getting it for them. I wouldn't buy my friend who is happy with her Mazda a Maserati. If my daughter likes swimming, I'm not going to buy her a horse because I like riding. This is exactly the same - the poster is saying she won't waste her time or money making a meal for people who visibly don't enjoy it. She's not saying she's ostracizing them from her life for not participating fully in dinner parties - she's saying she's going to stop inviting them to dinner parties. What is so controversial about this?

So a dinner party is just OP’s chance to show off her cooking? It’s not for socializing? Because that’s the part I’d enjoy.

And what’s so controversial about this? OP’s rant. “Yes, this is just a rant. No, I am not talking about food allergies, food restrictions based on religion, actual medical conditions, or even those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan *who take care of themselves and don’t make a scene.* […]” but now she admits that even those of us who take care of ourselves and don’t make a scene are unwelcome. That’s the gotcha.

I hate being picky. I hate it. I have overcome it in many ways but have “lost” other foods to random things (for example several foods to associations from them being the last food I ate before actively vomiting from food poisoning). I am on the spectrum and truly cannot overcome some of my inability to eat foods.

And now to know that no matter how little fuss I make, if I’m not part of team “eat like everyone else” I’m not welcome at all. Gee, what about that makes me sad.

You need to get over yourself. Really. You don't have to be invited to every single little thing in order to have friends and family who enjoy your company. But dinner parties hosted by people who love to cook are for people who love food/food and wine--it's a special interest, a hobby, a shared experience. It's not for you, and that's OK. Just like book club is not for people who don't like to read, and game night is not for people (like me) who hate board games and charades and stuff, and knitting or quilting parties are for people who enjoy those things. Dinner parties are people who love food and cooking to the point where it is a passion, a hobby. You can still be invited to parties and holidays and other things where it is about spending time together and celebrating. Dinner parties are different. Really do grow up.

OMG so very much THIS!

+1 People are allowed to have interests and have events related to those interests. Some of my neighbors who I'm close to like to go for runs together. I don't like to run so I'm not offended when I'm not included.even though I enjoy their company. Some people really enjoy cooking and want to stretch their skills by hosting dinner parties.

+100 and they want to share that experience with people who share their passion for food and entertaining and will appreciate it. That’s not saying that some people are “better” than others, they just have the shared interest of good food, good wine, new recipies, etc. I wouldn’t invite some of my friends over for a Fellini film appreciation night, because they like other kinds of movies, *and that’s OK.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

Ahh, so even if picky eaters enjoy the company and don’t make a scene or any trouble about the food, they’re persona non grata at your exclusive events. Noted. And it confirms what I’ve thought about people judging picky eaters - the ones, again, who keep their preferences to themselves because it’s no one else’s issue.

It is what it is. No thanks, I’m not going to go to a lot of trouble and expense only to have someone sit and push food around the plate. I’ll still enjoy your company—in a setting with lots of food choices where you can make a plate. But for dinner parties, I prefer not to waste my time, money and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. You can be “there for just the company” in other scenarios in my home. Dinner parties are for grown-ups who appreciate the time, effort and expense it takes to make a lovely menu for adults. I don’t want to make a lot of effort for someone who is just going to eat a roll; you’re taking up the seat of someone who can handle a nice dinner party with adults.

Yep. You have confirmed what I thought. It is what it is and you are what you are. Even people with preferences - preferences that they don’t push on you or make your problem at all - are unwelcome at your table. Noted.

I'm not the poster you're quoting -but it's absurd to me that you think you've had some sort of "gotcha" moment here or that the poster you're responding to said something outrageous or arrogant.

If someone doesn't appreciate something, it doesn't make sense to spend your time or money getting it for them. I wouldn't buy my friend who is happy with her Mazda a Maserati. If my daughter likes swimming, I'm not going to buy her a horse because I like riding. This is exactly the same - the poster is saying she won't waste her time or money making a meal for people who visibly don't enjoy it. She's not saying she's ostracizing them from her life for not participating fully in dinner parties - she's saying she's going to stop inviting them to dinner parties. What is so controversial about this?

So a dinner party is just OP’s chance to show off her cooking? It’s not for socializing? Because that’s the part I’d enjoy.

And what’s so controversial about this? OP’s rant. “Yes, this is just a rant. No, I am not talking about food allergies, food restrictions based on religion, actual medical conditions, or even those who choose to be vegetarian or vegan *who take care of themselves and don’t make a scene.* […]” but now she admits that even those of us who take care of ourselves and don’t make a scene are unwelcome. That’s the gotcha.

I hate being picky. I hate it. I have overcome it in many ways but have “lost” other foods to random things (for example several foods to associations from them being the last food I ate before actively vomiting from food poisoning). I am on the spectrum and truly cannot overcome some of my inability to eat foods.

And now to know that no matter how little fuss I make, if I’m not part of team “eat like everyone else” I’m not welcome at all. Gee, what about that makes me sad.

You need to get over yourself. Really. You don't have to be invited to every single little thing in order to have friends and family who enjoy your company. But dinner parties hosted by people who love to cook are for people who love food/food and wine--it's a special interest, a hobby, a shared experience. It's not for you, and that's OK. Just like book club is not for people who don't like to read, and game night is not for people (like me) who hate board games and charades and stuff, and knitting or quilting parties are for people who enjoy those things. Dinner parties are people who love food and cooking to the point where it is a passion, a hobby. You can still be invited to parties and holidays and other things where it is about spending time together and celebrating. Dinner parties are different. Really do grow up.

OMG so very much THIS!

+1 People are allowed to have interests and have events related to those interests. Some of my neighbors who I'm close to like to go for runs together. I don't like to run so I'm not offended when I'm not included.even though I enjoy their company. Some people really enjoy cooking and want to stretch their skills by hosting dinner parties.

+100 and they want to share that experience with people who share their passion for food and entertaining and will appreciate it. That’s not saying that some people are “better” than others, they just have the shared interest of good food, good wine, new recipies, etc. I wouldn’t invite some of my friends over for a Fellini film appreciation night, because they like other kinds of movies, *and that’s OK.*

+1000.