Officially done with *preferences* of picky eaters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a single food that I won't eat. I find picky eaters really tiresome.

Hey! So do we!
- every emotionally mature picky eater. Just leave us alone and we’ll eat it what we like (and bring a dish we like, too, if the situation calls for it)

Op isn't complaining about your type of picky eating. It's the type that "requires" special treatment that annoys op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a single food that I won't eat. I find picky eaters really tiresome.

Hey! So do we!
- every emotionally mature picky eater. Just leave us alone and we’ll eat it what we like (and bring a dish we like, too, if the situation calls for it)

Op isn't complaining about your type of picky eating. It's the type that "requires" special treatment that annoys op.

Op sounds thin skinned and is filling blanks for other people’s motivations (like most of us also do here on this site…)

[Anonymous]

I’d rather know so all my guests feel comfortable and sated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a single food that I won't eat. I find picky eaters really tiresome.

Hey! So do we!
- every emotionally mature picky eater. Just leave us alone and we’ll eat it what we like (and bring a dish we like, too, if the situation calls for it)

Op isn't complaining about your type of picky eating. It's the type that "requires" special treatment that annoys op.

Op sounds thin skinned and is filling blanks for other people’s motivations (like most of us also do here on this site…)

It sounds like OP has borne the brunt of hosting for a long time for a group of picky people with demands and shifting “needs” who don’t reciprocate or even offer to bring dishes. No thanks. Why are you taking that personally, if you are so “emotionally mature”? If someone else’s behavior doesn’t describe you, then it doesn’t apply to you, now does it? “Emotionally mature” people tend to understand that.

[Anonymous]

The people who quietly take care of themselves are not the problem.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a problem with the person who was gluten free but is now keto, and now won't eat grains but at this restaurant will order the salmon.... You know that person.

If you are that person can you please please tell us why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a single food that I won't eat. I find picky eaters really tiresome.

Hey! So do we!
- every emotionally mature picky eater. Just leave us alone and we’ll eat it what we like (and bring a dish we like, too, if the situation calls for it)

Op isn't complaining about your type of picky eating. It's the type that "requires" special treatment that annoys op.

Op sounds thin skinned and is filling blanks for other people’s motivations (like most of us also do here on this site…)

It sounds like OP has borne the brunt of hosting for a long time for a group of picky people with demands and shifting “needs” who don’t reciprocate or even offer to bring dishes. No thanks. Why are you taking that personally, if you are so “emotionally mature”? If someone else’s behavior doesn’t describe you, then it doesn’t apply to you, now does it? “Emotionally mature” people tend to understand that.

Hi. Your hypotheticals have no relationship to actual events or my experience/mindset. Weird take to make accusations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who quietly take care of themselves are not the problem.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a problem with the person who was gluten free but is now keto, and now won't eat grains but at this restaurant will order the salmon.... You know that person.

If you are that person can you please please tell us why?

Wait. Is salmon now made of grain?

[Anonymous]

Have a few of those single serve microwavable bags of rice on hand and just have the Pocky eaters eat one of those if there is nothing else they will eat. They can go in the kitchen and microwave it themselves...takes 60 seconds. I think everyone can eat rice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who quietly take care of themselves are not the problem.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a problem with the person who was gluten free but is now keto, and now won't eat grains but at this restaurant will order the salmon.... You know that person.

If you are that person can you please please tell us why?

Wait. Is salmon now made of grain?

You're missing the point. The person changes. They were vegan but now eat salmon, just at this one place. They are all over the place, trendy, and a PITA. Is this you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who quietly take care of themselves are not the problem.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has a problem with the person who was gluten free but is now keto, and now won't eat grains but at this restaurant will order the salmon.... You know that person.

If you are that person can you please please tell us why?

Wait. Is salmon now made of grain?

You're missing the point. The person changes. They were vegan but now eat salmon, just at this one place. They are all over the place, trendy, and a PITA. Is this you?

DP, and +1

This isn’t about Larla, who has been vegan since 6th grade.

This is about cousin Belinda, who states she is gluten free vegan, although last time she was over she was high calorie paleo. Both times host has jumped through numerous hoops to accommodate her special dietary perspective, but Belinda “just can’t resist” when the loaf of crusty bread made by grandma comes out, and takes a second helping of the cheesecake.

[Anonymous]

I would state your basic menu and everyone can then bring something else they want. Do a potluck so they just don't show up and get fed. Accomplishes two things: those picky people need to cook (or buy) something they like and bring it and they get some of the pain of hosting.

As a person with actual food allergies / intolerances I actually like it when I make a dish to bring because then I know there will be something I can eat.

Don't get fancy and have lists. Just say you will provide one meat or vegan main dish and drinks and dessert or something. Then everyone else can bring a side dish that fits whatever pickiness they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a single food that I won't eat. I find picky eaters really tiresome.

Hey! So do we!
- every emotionally mature picky eater. Just leave us alone and we’ll eat it what we like (and bring a dish we like, too, if the situation calls for it)

Op isn't complaining about your type of picky eating. It's the type that "requires" special treatment that annoys op.

Op sounds thin skinned and is filling blanks for other people’s motivations (like most of us also do here on this site…)

It sounds like OP has borne the brunt of hosting for a long time for a group of picky people with demands and shifting “needs” who don’t reciprocate or even offer to bring dishes. No thanks. Why are you taking that personally, if you are so “emotionally mature”? If someone else’s behavior doesn’t describe you, then it doesn’t apply to you, now does it? “Emotionally mature” people tend to understand that.

There’s no such thing as an emotionally mature picky eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a picky eater. I have tons of stomach issues and I don't like forcing myself to eat anything. I am perfectly happy for this to not be anyone's problem but mine. However, there are people who will constantly nag you about what you're eating, why you're not eating much, how they make the best pickled beets, etc. I just attended a conference with 2 co-workers and they are also picky/have some food issues. I was so relieved when we picked out places to eat. It was basically, "Would you eat here?" If so, we'd go and no one commented on anyone else's food choices. It was so nice knowing that I wasn't about to get an inquisition about how much/what I was eating. I know that some people can be really annoying about wanting you to accommodate them and I don't like that either. I wish we all could just be less critical of each other.

I don’t think it’s critical for OP to say she’s tired of being the host to a group of people whose pickiness gets worse and the “goalposts move.” OP never said she watches what people eat, she’s just tired of adults telling her not to make fruit salad and other demands. If you’ve cooked for a crowd and been a frequent host, you’d get it.

I don't think PP was accusing OP of that. She's saying that staying silent and handling one's own food issues also comes with pitfalls. (I've absolutely experienced this, solidarity.)

PP just said "there are people" but I'd go farther and say that most hosts, who have gone to some trouble to cook, notice what you don’t eat. Some don't realize that it's uncomfortable to comment on it.

I don’t notice or care if it’s a big holiday meal like Thanksgiving. I never comment, but I do notice if it’s a dinner party. It’s fine, I don’t ask or even care what or why, I just make a mental note to only invite certain people to big events with lots of choices, and not to put them on my dinner party roster. I go to a lot of trouble for dinner parties, and I frankly don’t want to go through the trouble for picky people. They are welcome to come to bigger events.

You aren't going to trouble for your guest if you don't care about preferences. You are doing it for you and the show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would state your basic menu and everyone can then bring something else they want. Do a potluck so they just don't show up and get fed. Accomplishes two things: those picky people need to cook (or buy) something they like and bring it and they get some of the pain of hosting.

As a person with actual food allergies / intolerances I actually like it when I make a dish to bring because then I know there will be something I can eat.

Don't get fancy and have lists. Just say you will provide one meat or vegan main dish and drinks and dessert or something. Then everyone else can bring a side dish that fits whatever pickiness they have.

No potlucks. If you host you cook and provide everything. This isn't college.