Why Does "Lacrosse Culture" in Highschool and College seem to be so BAD these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not be silly. People who did have years of training and private coaching will be more competitive than those without either - in any sport - including Lax.

Fake news

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my sons started lacrosse in kindergarten and have played ever since, and are rising 9th and 11th graders at a DC Catholic school, so they're obviously the target for a lot of the dislike here, based on what I've read.

What I will say from my experience as a parent involved with the sport is that you have a small group of complete f--kwits, a small group of genuinely nice/awesome people, and then a large group of just average types who aren't always nice but are also nice enough that I wouldn't throw them in the f--kwit group.

I.e., it's generally a bellcurve of behavior and --OMG--I'm pretty sure you'll find that same distribution across all competitive sports, and in all public and private schools. Lacrosse players are no more or no less obnoxious than your average teenager.

There's such a strong tendency across this whole message board to divide up society into "good"/in groups (of which the poster is a member) and "evil"/out groups (it's okay to attack them--they're the BAD guys!). It's pretty tiresome and if you're an adult doing this maybe look in the mirror and try to be better.

I’ll agree that this board is filled with polarized opinions, so I’m not surprised to see it on this thread.

I taught at a school with a strong lacrosse program. I’ll be completely honest here: the students I had to report for bullying and disrespect were almost always the lacrosse players. I had some wonderful and kind players over the years, but those students shared the poor reputation created by their disrespectful teammates. The program seemed to breed toxicity.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4 year old DS in a private NW DC preschool. The rudest, clubbiest families have all started moving toward LAX. It’s a much narrower, wealthier demographic than families going into soccer. Some of the moms agonize about which lax club is “least bro-ish” and I think, “if you have to ask this question now, why not take a different path with a preschool age child?” But the dads want it and they know it helps with college outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think lax culture necessarily breeds toxicity, but children who have problem behaviors in early elementary are drawn to it because it’s a physical game that can serve as an outlet for aggression and frustration in other areas of life. Good coaches work very hard to work with these kids and channel that behavior in a productive way. They find ways to reach a kid that are tough to find outside an environment like this. Some of these kids would be much worse off without lacrosse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do not be silly. People who did have years of training and private coaching will be more competitive than those without either - in any sport - including Lax.

Not true at all. Are you kidding? Anyone can train for years and pay a coach but that doesn’t make them more competitive than a natural gifted athlete. You can start your kid in 2nd grade with coaching year round but when they turn 12 years old there will be kids who just started the sport but have everything it takes and will take the spot from the overtrained naturally uncoordinated kid. It’s unbelievable that people think that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not be silly. People who did have years of training and private coaching will be more competitive than those without either - in any sport - including Lax.

Not true at all. Are you kidding? Anyone can train for years and pay a coach but that doesn’t make them more competitive than a natural gifted athlete. You can start your kid in 2nd grade with coaching year round but when they turn 12 years old there will be kids who just started the sport but have everything it takes and will take the spot from the overtrained naturally uncoordinated kid. It’s unbelievable that people think that way.

All of this and a bowl of chips

[Anonymous]

Can confirm. I have a kid who started playing in pre-K and years later, he is…not good. Kids who are naturally gifted athletes can pick it up right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the last bastion of wealthy white boys with middling athletic skills. Golf and tennis are gone. So will lacrosse, now that public schools (and football players) are starting to play. My son goes to a big lacrosse school and I'm SO glad he plays other sports. And the parents are obnoxious.

+1 My kids played lots of different sports growing up and of all the teams they were on the lacrosse parents were the worst to be with and deal with. Most but not all were so invested in the team, playing time and socializing with each other like they were reliving HS all over again. The Fathers were so obnoxious especially when a coach would substitute their kid for another. My worst days were spent going to the games and having to sit in the stands with them and listen to all the ranting and raging over every play and call. The coaches were not much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not be silly. People who did have years of training and private coaching will be more competitive than those without either - in any sport - including Lax.

Not true at all. Are you kidding? Anyone can train for years and pay a coach but that doesn’t make them more competitive than a natural gifted athlete. You can start your kid in 2nd grade with coaching year round but when they turn 12 years old there will be kids who just started the sport but have everything it takes and will take the spot from the overtrained naturally uncoordinated kid. It’s unbelievable that people think that way.

The sport growing at a super fast pace, and the kids who make it to the top have BOTH of the advantages - naturally gifted athletes and tons of private training. A boy who has one without the other will struggle to keep up with kids who have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple of comments up-thread about exclusivity and Skull-and-Bones are interesting to me because I know nothing about LAX really, yet I've noticed something.

There are two little 5 year olds in my son's class. Yes, 5. Their parents are clearly grooming them right now to play LAX at some high level. As in, it's OK to be casual about tennis (parks and rec camp) or soccer tots, but for them, LAX is serious.

I didn't get that -- I'm from the Midwest -- but I'm starting to understand I think. Why would it be so, so important for a child who is only 60 months old to excel at LAX? (when it's fine to be laid back and developmentally appropriate regarding soccer or swimming)? Hm.

Maybe the kid likes LAX better than the other sports? Pushing your kids early is fine if the kid wants to be pushed. That’s how sports work. Worked out fine for Tiger Woods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sweet, nice, kind, adorable 9 year old loves playing lacrosse. We were recently at a tournament with his whole team and it is truly a great group of boys and parents. I love how supportive and inclusive and kind these little guys are of/to each other. My son loves the game and loves his team and is showing potential.

When I hear these stories about the "culture" of Lax players at highschools and colleges it just freaks me out. I know all the boys who play lax, even the best players, can not all be bad, immoral a-holes. Read any newspaper these days however and it really sounds like they are equivalent of the a$$hat football players of Hollywood movies from the 80s, a stereotype I thought had kind of been exposed, ridiculced and mostly excised. Why is this "type" now showing up again but as the Lax players?

Even if I firmly believe that my son would be the exception, I wouldn't want him around other males with those attitudes, lack of morales, and sense of entitlement, regardless of how kind and "grounded" he is/will be. I would hate to tell him he can't play lacrosse anymore but if the sport really is dominated by such a cesspit of immorale jerks, I will. Opinions? Predictions? Will it change due to all the bad press? Are there any schools where the lax players are the "nice" boys, the real scholar-athletes?

Your boy is now 24, How did it turn out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sweet, nice, kind, adorable 9 year old loves playing lacrosse. We were recently at a tournament with his whole team and it is truly a great group of boys and parents. I love how supportive and inclusive and kind these little guys are of/to each other. My son loves the game and loves his team and is showing potential.

When I hear these stories about the "culture" of Lax players at highschools and colleges it just freaks me out. I know all the boys who play lax, even the best players, can not all be bad, immoral a-holes. Read any newspaper these days however and it really sounds like they are equivalent of the a$$hat football players of Hollywood movies from the 80s, a stereotype I thought had kind of been exposed, ridiculced and mostly excised. Why is this "type" now showing up again but as the Lax players?

Even if I firmly believe that my son would be the exception, I wouldn't want him around other males with those attitudes, lack of morales, and sense of entitlement, regardless of how kind and "grounded" he is/will be. I would hate to tell him he can't play lacrosse anymore but if the sport really is dominated by such a cesspit of immorale jerks, I will. Opinions? Predictions? Will it change due to all the bad press? Are there any schools where the lax players are the "nice" boys, the real scholar-athletes?

Your boy is now 24, How did it turn out?

I am so here for the answer to this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sweet, nice, kind, adorable 9 year old loves playing lacrosse. We were recently at a tournament with his whole team and it is truly a great group of boys and parents. I love how supportive and inclusive and kind these little guys are of/to each other. My son loves the game and loves his team and is showing potential.

When I hear these stories about the "culture" of Lax players at highschools and colleges it just freaks me out. I know all the boys who play lax, even the best players, can not all be bad, immoral a-holes. Read any newspaper these days however and it really sounds like they are equivalent of the a$$hat football players of Hollywood movies from the 80s, a stereotype I thought had kind of been exposed, ridiculced and mostly excised. Why is this "type" now showing up again but as the Lax players?

Even if I firmly believe that my son would be the exception, I wouldn't want him around other males with those attitudes, lack of morales, and sense of entitlement, regardless of how kind and "grounded" he is/will be. I would hate to tell him he can't play lacrosse anymore but if the sport really is dominated by such a cesspit of immorale jerks, I will. Opinions? Predictions? Will it change due to all the bad press? Are there any schools where the lax players are the "nice" boys, the real scholar-athletes?

Your boy is now 24, How did it turn out?

I am so here for the answer to this!

Enquiring minds want to know.

[Anonymous]

He's probably in prison because he played lacrosse.

[Anonymous]

Most of these stereotypes are outdated. If you look at major college rosters, players on the teams are extremely athletic ie UVA's starting defense went 6-5, 6-6, 6-7, with the 6-7 guy being the fastest on the team. Rosters are no longer stocked with kids from hot bed areas, but pull kids from Tx, FL, GA and Canada.

What that means in today's world is that kids who once might have played D1 are now playing on D3 teams as they get replaced by guys with elite athleticism. But a hallmark for being a reasonably high level player ie HS and beyond is that hasn't changed is you need to be a good athlete, with the great thing being all manner of athletes (big/small/slow/fast) can excel.

Another false notion is that lacrosse parents are worse than any other youth sports parents. Lacrosse hasn't cornered the market for abhorrent parental behavior, with plenty of that to go around in every sport.