Why Does "Lacrosse Culture" in Highschool and College seem to be so BAD these days?

[Anonymous]

My sweet, nice, kind, adorable 9 year old loves playing lacrosse. We were recently at a tournament with his whole team and it is truly a great group of boys and parents. I love how supportive and inclusive and kind these little guys are of/to each other. My son loves the game and loves his team and is showing potential.

When I hear these stories about the "culture" of Lax players at highschools and colleges it just freaks me out. I know all the boys who play lax, even the best players, can not all be bad, immoral a-holes. Read any newspaper these days however and it really sounds like they are equivalent of the a$$hat football players of Hollywood movies from the 80s, a stereotype I thought had kind of been exposed, ridiculced and mostly excised. Why is this "type" now showing up again but as the Lax players?

Even if I firmly believe that my son would be the exception, I wouldn't want him around other males with those attitudes, lack of morales, and sense of entitlement, regardless of how kind and "grounded" he is/will be. I would hate to tell him he can't play lacrosse anymore but if the sport really is dominated by such a cesspit of immorale jerks, I will. Opinions? Predictions? Will it change due to all the bad press? Are there any schools where the lax players are the "nice" boys, the real scholar-athletes?

[Anonymous]

Apart from the recent murder at UVA, what bad press do you mean?

[Anonymous]

wasn't there also a rape case a little while back...?

[Anonymous]

Let's face it, like it or not, the stereotypical LAX player in high school and college is an arrogant, well-to-do, women-are-disposable goods, asshole. Go ahead and burn through dozens of threads flaming me or attempting to make the case otherwise. But it's simply the perception out there.

I'm sure the answer is multi-layered and I do not profess to have all the answers save one. It has been, and I know this is changing, a sport populated by prep school boys and the wealthy east coast suburban public school set. There is a sense among both parents and students that this sport is somehow different in its exclusivity. Not many people play it. Not many people are given the opportunity to play it. It's like the Skull and Bones of sports. Those in the club skew rich, so there is already much potential for a sense of entitlement/arrogance, and this sense of clubbiness and exclusivity resulting from the LAX experience only fans the flames of asshole-ness.

[Anonymous]

That perception comes through the media. The lacrosse players I know are really terrific young men. (I'm not a lacrosse mom. My son plays soccer.)

[Anonymous]

This has always been the men's lacrosse culture .... it is not THESE DAYS.. you were just unaware.

It is just that recently there have been 2 very high profile situations involving lacrosse players that has highlighted this arogant, entitlement aspect of the sport.

Now we all know friends / family members / neighbors who played lacrosse and are great guys ... but this sterotype for the culture is the the few seriously bad apples that seem to be the leaders and influence some of the teams.

[Anonymous]

I've got a teenage son who wants nothing to do with the LAX players at his school. He says that individually they can be okay but as a group they're *&(!

Although they usually come across as terrific young men in their interactions with parents, the locker room and on the field culture can be toxic.

I don't think it's the same way with girls LAX though - is it? And if not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Maybe the physicality of the sport (contact, aggression) attracts a certain type of boy who is by nature more aggressive, physical, and confident? Similar to football? My son, who plays tennis, disdains the LAX BROS as well. But he also reports that the worst students (in his words, the most "stupid" kids) also tend to be lacrosse players, and I don't know why this would be true, unless it is part of the culture to act as though school is "uncool."

[Anonymous]

By and large the perception is true. It varies somewhat from school to school, player to player, but on the whole it is true. The stereotypical mega-jock attitude combined with the rich-boy attitude creates quite an indomitable ego. I know because I played lacrosse at a local private school before quitting in college. I know George Huguely and he isn't any different from most of the lax elite except for his serious alcohol problem (which runs in his family).

[Anonymous]

Because all the lacrosse jacka$$es we went to college with are now the parents and coaches.

[Anonymous]

I taught LAX BROS in college a few years back. As a group - entitled assholes.

[Anonymous]

A couple of comments up-thread about exclusivity and Skull-and-Bones are interesting to me because I know nothing about LAX really, yet I've noticed something.

There are two little 5 year olds in my son's class. Yes, 5. Their parents are clearly grooming them right now to play LAX at some high level. As in, it's OK to be casual about tennis (parks and rec camp) or soccer tots, but for them, LAX is serious.

I didn't get that -- I'm from the Midwest -- but I'm starting to understand I think. Why would it be so, so important for a child who is only 60 months old to excel at LAX? (when it's fine to be laid back and developmentally appropriate regarding soccer or swimming)? Hm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I didn't get that -- I'm from the Midwest -- but I'm starting to understand I think. Why would it be so, so important for a child who is only 60 months old to excel at LAX? (when it's fine to be laid back and developmentally appropriate regarding soccer or swimming)? Hm.

b/c there is no expectation (desire) that their child will swim or play soccer at the college level.

With lacrosse, once you have a step up vs your peers on skills, you get more playing time. More playing time = more time to further improve your skills. It is a cycle. You can't just put a stick in his hands in middle school and expect for him to pick it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I didn't get that -- I'm from the Midwest -- but I'm starting to understand I think. Why would it be so, so important for a child who is only 60 months old to excel at LAX? (when it's fine to be laid back and developmentally appropriate regarding soccer or swimming)? Hm.

b/c there is no expectation (desire) that their child will swim or play soccer at the college level.

With lacrosse, once you have a step up vs your peers on skills, you get more playing time. More playing time = more time to further improve your skills. It is a cycle. You can't just put a stick in his hands in middle school and expect for him to pick it up.

Is it supposed to be "easier" to play college lacrosse than other sports?

[Anonymous]

Lacrosse players may generally be complete douche bags, but it's seems there's something special about Landon that brings that douche bag disposition to a whole new level of felony violence.