feeling guilty that husband left church because of me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

I’m the Catholic who joined as an adult. I’m calling you out on this. Perhaps that parish made you feel this way, but I know others would not. I attended our parish for years before converting. Years. I served on a committee, helped with young kid activities, attended evening events, and I was very much involved during Mass. I went up for the Eucharist each Sunday. Yes, I had to cross my arms and I *hated* that, but I understood why. No priest, deacon, or parish member treated me any differently. In fact, the meaningful conversations I had about my Protestant upbringing were very welcomed by others.

You had a bad experience. My experience was entirely different. A different parish may have been much better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

It nEvEr hApPeNeD To mE, sO ThE PoStEr mUsT Be a tRoLl.

As if there are priests that fiery and ultra-ultra-orthodox left in the dioceses in the 2010s-2020s! Plus, parish priests are so busy they would hardly have the time, knowledge, nor werewithal to call some random non-attending parishoner’s non catholic wife a “whore”, and ESPECIALLY NOT since a marriage between two baptized persons is already legit although irregular.

Two baptized non-Catholics. Not a non-Catholic and Catholic.

Also, we were married in 2008, convalidation talks where this took place happened in 2009.

You’re right, my bad. His marriage is invalid and continues to be. Why did you try convalidation talks? And how specificallly did the whore thing slip out?

I agreed because I honestly didn’t realize they didn’t consider us married. I didn’t realize I’d have to say vows again, and once I learned that, I realized what a mockery we’d be making of our wedding.

The whore thing…honestly, I don’t remember the details. And to be fair, I think he was using whore in the genre sense as someone in between Christ and His church, not toward me, but that’s difficult to see the difference in the moment.

It’s unfortunate, but this is precisely why the church discourages mixed marriage. With that being said, I can tell by your own sense of piety and conscience why you would feel a certain guilt but ultimately his falling away from the church is his burden not yours. What do you want besides to not feel guilty anymore? You say he’s a better Christian than ever before in your eyes?

A thought. You could do a truly Christian act of heroic virtue and submit to the Church’s teachings despite your feelings for the sake of your husband’s salvation if you genuinely feel that bad. Who knows, that may be a catalyst to spur him out of his present spiritual lethargy.

Otherwise, ruminating isn’t doing you any good and seems to be a sign of a lack of committing fully to one belief system. Either his soul is at stake or it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

But is this getting in the way of your marriage, which also needs attention? What’s going on currently isn’t working if it is causing you guilt. Perhaps it’s time to talk and try new paths - either together or with each others’ sincere blessings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

I’m not PP but um, this is vile. You aren’t making the case you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

No she's not. She also shouldn't pretend she has any guilt over the situation. She just wanted to bash Catholicism

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

I’m not PP but um, this is vile. You aren’t making the case you think you are.

Truth hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

I’m not PP but um, this is vile. You aren’t making the case you think you are.

+1. That is definitely vile.

OP seems angry and upset, which are understandable emotions we all feel. That doesn’t mean she is “empty.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

I’m not PP but um, this is vile. You aren’t making the case you think you are.

+1. That is definitely vile.

OP seems angry and upset, which are understandable emotions we all feel. That doesn’t mean she is “empty.”

She's empty because she is a narcissist.
She's us not genuinely upset by the situation nor does she feel any guilt.

She likes the idea that she has so much power over her husband that he gave up his faith for her

She likes the idea that it's her against the Catholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

No, I have issues being denied the sacraments and being called a whore by DH's priest because we weren't married in his church. So yeah. No interested in the flavor of Christianity who thinks it's ok call someone a moron, thanks!

DP.
I feel it is worth pointing out that this “flavor of Christianity” didn’t call you that. Instead, one very bad representative of it did.
I had a teacher call me a b**** once. My school didn’t call me that.

Also, did he actually say that? And if so, I certainly hope you reported that to the Archdiocese.

I'm sure it never happened. OP is a troll who can't keep her story straight.

I don’t think OP is a troll. I suspect OP harbors a lot of anger regarding the Eucharist and the fact it isn’t extended to non-Catholics. As somebody who joined the Catholic Church as an adult, I can empathize if that is the case. I can also see how that could lead to arguments in a marriage, and ultimately a husband just dropping it to keep the peace.

Or this is all just my speculation. Little to go on here.

Yes. You get it. Only I really don’t care if they deny it to non-Catholics, as long as I’m not expected to sit through it. When people insist I do, yes, I get angry and defensive. That’s wrong of me, and it’s something I’ve been working on for well over a decade. I am FINE if he goes. But I will not, because I need to receive His grace in other places.

Honestly you know nothing about grace if this is your attitude.
Your husband has demonstrated it better by attending a Church you approve though I'm sure there are things he disagrees with

And you know nothing about human nature and kindness, so what's your point? You're sure not selling your faith, I can tell you that. You think I agree with everything our current church teaches? No way. But they welcomed me a Christian and allowed me to practice my faith when his did not.

My faith?. I'm not Catholic or Protestant. I rejected Christianity in large part due to people like you that like to play victim but are at the core vile and narcissistic.

You'll never be happy with religion or otherwise because at your core you are deeply insecure.

You don't feel guilty.

You fear one day your DH will discover the empty vessel he married

I’m not PP but um, this is vile. You aren’t making the case you think you are.

+1. That is definitely vile.

OP seems angry and upset, which are understandable emotions we all feel. That doesn’t mean she is “empty.”

She's empty because she is a narcissist.
She's us not genuinely upset by the situation nor does she feel any guilt.

She likes the idea that she has so much power over her husband that he gave up his faith for her

She likes the idea that it's her against the Catholics.

Literally not. I have zero self-esteem. But keep thinking you know everything - who's the narcissist?