feeling guilty that husband left church because of me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.

My wife was raised Catholic and she insisted on marrying outside the church because we would have had to pledge to raise our kids Catholic. We are now the parents of two happily non-Catholic kids. I don't know if you have kids or plan to someday, but it might have been a factor for him.

We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

Why don't you just take him at his word?

Because we had arguments about it when we first married. I had no idea what I'd gotten into.

OK, but now he is saying that it is fine. Why don’t you just accept what he is telling you?

Wouldn't you change your mind if your mother told you how you were about going to your wife's church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

But you won’t sit through Mass because you can’t receive communion. And you won’t get your marriage convalidated in the church because you met a mean priest who used imagery in his speech but upheld catholic teaching on marriage. And you’re upset your MIL acknowledges the Catholic reality of you and your DH’s situation. You should talk to a priest about your scrupulosity, but your conscience is clearly inflamed right now for legit reasons.

My conscience is not inflamed. Would you like being called a whore when you waited for your wedding night? I doubt it.

This whole thread is literally about you feeling guilty! You literally said the priest didn’t actually call you a whore! Ok maybe you are a troll after all LOL

AND she said this “whore” comment occurred after they were married. Here she says it was before her wedding night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

Fine. I suspect you’re angry at me, simply because I suggested you try compromising a bit. Perhaps your husband would feel comfortable going himself to Mass if you made a small, temporary gesture of support. I suppose your anger toward me means I somehow overstepped. (Note I NEVER suggested you should convert. Heck, I even defended you to others.)

YOU came here expressing guilt. I made a reasonable suggestion. If that brings out such rage in you, then you really are closed to any conversation. I’m not sure, then, why you posted here. If you wanted support and assurance, you actually had that from me.

You're right. I am sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

But you won’t sit through Mass because you can’t receive communion. And you won’t get your marriage convalidated in the church because you met a mean priest who used imagery in his speech but upheld catholic teaching on marriage. And you’re upset your MIL acknowledges the Catholic reality of you and your DH’s situation. You should talk to a priest about your scrupulosity, but your conscience is clearly inflamed right now for legit reasons.

My conscience is not inflamed. Would you like being called a whore when you waited for your wedding night? I doubt it.

This whole thread is literally about you feeling guilty! You literally said the priest didn’t actually call you a whore! Ok maybe you are a troll after all LOL

AND she said this “whore” comment occurred after they were married. Here she says it was before her wedding night.

I said it happened during convalidation discussion. We'd already been married for a while by that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

They may have “mass” (as in numbers or bodily weight, but they categorically do not have “Mass,” as in the Eucharistic sacrifice because their ministers lack both the capacity and the requisite intention to confect the Eucharist.

In the Lutheran Church we have both the Mass and the Eucharist. We are part of one holy catholic and apostolic church.

You can believe whatever you want, but the Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on the apostolic succession or the Real Presence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

They may have “mass” (as in numbers or bodily weight, but they categorically do not have “Mass,” as in the Eucharistic sacrifice because their ministers lack both the capacity and the requisite intention to confect the Eucharist.

In the Lutheran Church we have both the Mass and the Eucharist. We are part of one holy catholic and apostolic church.

You can believe whatever you want, but the Catholic Church does not have a monopoly on the apostolic succession or the Real Presence.

This. And how arrogant to claim so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Lutherans have the mass. So do Episcopalians. Catholics and the Orthodox do not have a monopoly on this.

Lutherans have “divine service.” With the possible exception of some Scandinavians, they are even farther from the idea of Eucharistic sacrifice than the Episcopals. Both groups are offspring of the Roman church and abandoned many Catholic beliefs. You can call what they do whatever you like, but they don’t even call it a “Mass” themselves and the ones I know would hasten to distinguish it since they don’t believe in what the Catholics believe occurs at Mass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church


, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

But you won’t sit through Mass because you can’t receive communion. And you won’t get your marriage convalidated in the church because you met a mean priest who used imagery in his speech but upheld catholic teaching on marriage. And you’re upset your MIL acknowledges the Catholic reality of you and your DH’s situation. You should talk to a priest about your scrupulosity, but your conscience is clearly inflamed right now for legit reasons.

My conscience is not inflamed. Would you like being called a whore when you waited for your wedding night? I doubt it.

But you backtracked from that position (the priest calling you a whore)) about five pages back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Lutherans have the mass. So do Episcopalians. Catholics and the Orthodox do not have a monopoly on this.

Lutherans have “divine service.” With the possible exception of some Scandinavians, they are even farther from the idea of Eucharistic sacrifice than the Episcopals. Both groups are offspring of the Roman church and abandoned many Catholic beliefs. You can call what they do whatever you like, but they don’t even call it a “Mass” themselves and the ones I know would hasten to distinguish it since they don’t believe in what the Catholics believe occurs at Mass.

+1. I’m very dear friends with a Lutheran pastor in one of the traditional flavors and he is adamant that it is not a mass in either name or in what is happening. And their version of how the host becomes the body of Christ, they don’t know, it’s just a mystery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.

My wife was raised Catholic and she insisted on marrying outside the church because we would have had to pledge to raise our kids Catholic. We are now the parents of two happily non-Catholic kids. I don't know if you have kids or plan to someday, but it might have been a factor for him.

We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

Why don't you just take him at his word?

Because we had arguments about it when we first married. I had no idea what I'd gotten into.

OK, but now he is saying that it is fine. Why don’t you just accept what he is telling you?

Wouldn't you change your mind if your mother told you how you were about going to your wife's church?

No, I would not. And if I did change my mind, I would talk to my spouse about that and not to my mother.

I would also tell my mother to mind her own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church


, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

But you won’t sit through Mass because you can’t receive communion. And you won’t get your marriage convalidated in the church because you met a mean priest who used imagery in his speech but upheld catholic teaching on marriage. And you’re upset your MIL acknowledges the Catholic reality of you and your DH’s situation. You should talk to a priest about your scrupulosity, but your conscience is clearly inflamed right now for legit reasons.

My conscience is not inflamed. Would you like being called a whore when you waited for your wedding night? I doubt it.

But you backtracked from that position (the priest calling you a whore)) about five pages back

He did use the word in relation to me stepping in between DH and the Church. Combined with him insisting that we're fornicating...come on. Don't act like I'm overreacting. It was meant to inflame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Lutherans have the mass. So do Episcopalians. Catholics and the Orthodox do not have a monopoly on this.

Lutherans have “divine service.” With the possible exception of some Scandinavians, they are even farther from the idea of Eucharistic sacrifice than the Episcopals. Both groups are offspring of the Roman church and abandoned many Catholic beliefs. You can call what they do whatever you like, but they don’t even call it a “Mass” themselves and the ones I know would hasten to distinguish it since they don’t believe in what the Catholics believe occurs at Mass.

+1. I’m very dear friends with a Lutheran pastor in one of the traditional flavors and he is adamant that it is not a mass in either name or in what is happening. And their version of how the host becomes the body of Christ, they don’t know, it’s just a mystery.

Doesn't matter. It's not a symbol like Catholics pretend we believe.

[Anonymous]

This entire thread is 1000X insufferable 😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is 1000X insufferable 😩

Which is why I'm bowing out. Sorry to disturb everyone's Friday night.

- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services. You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.

DP.
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me.

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it. You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured). And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers. He is an adult. He decides.

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way).

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.

Fundamentally she’s angry that the catholics won’t give her the sacraments of the eucharist and marriage (although they could give her this one if she accepted being barred from the former). But in her heart of hearts, she is rightfully incensed that her DH is failing to live up to his unequal yoke.

No, I received the sacraments elsewhere, so I not angry about being barred from them. I am angry at the poster who keeps insisting I "try" Catholic mass, knowing it's an empty gesture for a non-Catholic.

But you won’t sit through Mass because you can’t receive communion. And you won’t get your marriage convalidated in the church because you met a mean priest who used imagery in his speech but upheld catholic teaching on marriage. And you’re upset your MIL acknowledges the Catholic reality of you and your DH’s situation. You should talk to a priest about your scrupulosity, but your conscience is clearly inflamed right now for legit reasons.

My conscience is not inflamed. Would you like being called a whore when you waited for your wedding night? I doubt it.

This whole thread is literally about you feeling guilty! You literally said the priest didn’t actually call you a whore! Ok maybe you are a troll after all LOL

AND she said this “whore” comment occurred after they were married. Here she says it was before her wedding night.

I said it happened during convalidation discussion. We'd already been married for a while by that point.

If you went to a convalidation meeting you must have known that to go through to the ceremony you would have had to convert. If not, surely your husband knew the rules and knew you would have to convert, be baptized., etc. before the marriage would be validated. Is that where the fighting started. You refused to become Catholic for the convalidation, which I assume your husband wanted?