SAHM's, What do you do all day?
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Anonymous
| Very organized, very un-bored SAHM here. I said this earlier in the thread but... only boring people get bored. |
Anonymous
| This conversation might even be worse than the formula feeding vs. breastfeeding one. I work because I am happier working. My job isn't terribly satisfying but we definitely need the income and I am happy going to work. I work 50hrs a week on average (im an attorney) and still do all those errands SAHM proudly list as their activities. I dont understand how they dont want more but whatevs--each to their own. If you dont have to work or make the decision not to work and that makes you happy, then that's great. It's all that matters. Life is too short. |
Anonymous
You must be very simple, too. |
Anonymous
I think you have it the other way around. Don't we do a disservice to ourselves and our peers to assume that we're all too stupid to keep ourselves challenged and entertained without paid work? Do you get all of your intellectual stimulation and fun from your job? Don't you have hobbies? Why is it "simple" that I am able to have lots of time and still be able to fill it with rewarding things? I like to do a lot of stuff. Now that I'm at home, I have more time to do the things that I'm passionate about. |
Anonymous
| 21:16 again. Just to be clear -- I don't think there is a thing wrong with anyone working outside the house whether it's out of necessity or desire. I just think it's a very flawed argument that if you're able to keep yourself happy and challenged without paid work that you must be stupid. I think most people who have some measure of creativity and intellect can keep themselves busy and entertained no matter how much time they have. |
Anonymous
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as a WOHM, I just don't get 21:11's comment that SAHMs should want more...I know what she's getting at, but the thing is, most of us aren't curing cancer or feeding the hungry at our jobs. Is being a middle manager at a software company (totally an example, not knocking these careers) or selling insurance "more." I mean, why is that somehow more worthwhile or an admirable way to spend one's time? I totally get wanting the have a less frazzled life, not wanting to deal with cobbling together before care, after care, care on teacher workdays and in the summer, just having time to breath...
Like AP, I just find it fascinating that this topic raises so much ire whenever it comes up. I feel like this is something that comes up over and over on this message board - that women sort of compete as to who has it tougher, who can do more, handle more, etc...it's somehow not okay to live an easier less frenetic life. |
Anonymous
I am the PP who made the comment about wanting more. I guess I didn't explain myself well enough. I think if you're happy at home, then that's totally fine. A lot of my friends are SAHM and do GREAT GREAT things with their time or are "good at being a SAHM"--as in it's in their bones. Some of my SAHM friends are miserable. They dont make good use of their time but think they're doing what is best for their child. An for me personally, I am happiest and therefore a better person by going to work. That's an aside from the fact we need it financially. So by wanting more, I meant that a life of errands wasn't for me. I cant see how one wouldn't want more. But, i didn't mean it to mean that everyone should feel that way. Maybe what i am saying is still contentious. |
Anonymous
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Happy, un-bored SAHM here. I wouldn't be happy with a "life of errands" either. Thankfully, my life is full of so much more than that. Isn't yours? Don't you do more than just go to work and run errands?
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Anonymous
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Wow, PP, you don't get it. Your follow-up just shows how truly judgmental you are. How do you know what's best for your friends' kids? And describing SAH as a "life of errands" is pretty myopic, too.
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Anonymous
The "life of errands" part is a bit condescending, yes. But I think you are just being unimaginative. Think of it this way -- do you ever plan to retire? Assuming you do, and you have your health and some money and all that -- will your life basically end, just because you aren't in paid employment? If ALL you are is your job, if that's the ONLY way you know to stimulate your mind, or to contribute to the greater good, watch out for retirement. |
Anonymous
You may wonder why they don't "want more" but they are probably wondering why you are OK working 50 hours a week. |
Anonymous
| My mother, M.Ed., stayed at home when my two siblings and I were little. When I was 12 (I was the oldest), she went back to teaching full time. I will always remember how ecstatic she was when she got the job and how fulfilled she was at work. It made her a happier, better person. Plus, all during my junior high and high school she was off my back b/c she had her own life (not that I was a wild child... but maybe that b/c she had laid a good foundation for me when I was small...). So obviously it goes both ways... |
Anonymous
| Because I have yet to meet a SAHM whose day isn't mostly made up of errands. I talk to my friends all the time and their "busiest" day is characterized by ERRANDS that i usually can fit in a weekend morning and be done with it. You dont need all week to get groceries, do laundry and cook dinner. So yes, I am judgemental of people whose lives consist of that. However, I acknowledge that many moms who chose to stay at home do so much more than pick up dry cleaning and cook meals. And even if they didn't and just did errands, if they were HAPPY, then that's fine too. |
Anonymous
I work 50hours to put a roof over our heads and food on the table and to pay our bills and mounting debt. That's why I am OK working those hours. I get paid by the hour. If my child is sick, i stay home but dont get paid. Can you wrap your mind around the fact that not everyone is fortunate? |
Anonymous
This is not the issue. Being a SAHM isn't boring to me not because I am a great organizer, but because I use my "down time" for things that I (I!!) choose. When nothing is scheduled for me, there are no more errands I have to run or places I have to be, I fill that time with things I love to do. The PP who said that only boring people are bored is right. I am truly NEVER bored because I can find something enjoyable or fulfilling for my time. Previously, when I was a working mom, I had my rewarding job and no time for anything else. That rewarding job wasn't enough for me. It's my choice, and you can't say it's wrong because you don't even understand my position. |