SAHM's, What do you do all day?

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. every now and then, I check facebook in the middle of the day. Every time, I notice that my friends who are sitting at work have updated their status 5 times that day and none of my SAH friends have been on at all. So, I'm wondering what YOU do all day, OP. Just because you get a paycheck doesn't necessarily mean you are a productive person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. every now and then, I check facebook in the middle of the day. Every time, I notice that my friends who are sitting at work have updated their status 5 times that day and none of my SAH friends have been on at all. So, I'm wondering what YOU do all day, OP. Just because you get a paycheck doesn't necessarily mean you are a productive person.

Intensity matters, too. So while these working moms may have 5 minutes of down time to update status, I'm sure during the rest of the day, they are working on projects. Furthermore, how hard is it to check FB status when most of our jobs involve desks and computers? You do know that you can have several windows up at once, right?

For the SAH, a computer isn't necessarily something that's in front of you all day long.

So your example is pretty weak.

And YOU seem to find the time to troll FB to check status updates. So I don't think you're a very good judge now, are you????

[Anonymous]

I think everyone else has pretty much covered the fact that there are ways to be a useful and productive person without earning a paycheck. So I'd like to point out something that I don't think has been discussed although I haven't read all 18 pages.

Here's something that many don't understand about SAHM. One big factor for many of us is that our salary was such a small percentage of the household income. It just doesn't always make sense to go back to work. When I got pregnat with my first, DH was making $115K and I was making $30K. So it was kind of a no-brainer considering all the costs of day care, work wardrobe, etc. BTW, that's not because I was less successful - I was 25 and he was 32. ten years later and my youngest (3rd) is in half-day K. It still doesn't make sense for me to return to work. Not sure if it will next year either. Even though they will all be in school all day, we will still have the issue of getting them to school (which doesn't start until 8:50), child care after school, what to do all the days that they don't have school, and especially winter/spring/summer breaks. In my field, part-time or WAH is not an option so it's all or nothing for me. I stay relevant in my field through volunteer work and networking because someday it will make sense for me to go back to work.

Anyway, my small salary is by no means the only reason I stay home, but it's definitely a factor. It seems that most working moms have an income that's closer to 50% of the household income, so they really have no choice but to work. So I certainly don't judge anyone's decision to work. Even if they can get by on DH's income, I respect their decision and realize that staying home is not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. every now and then, I check facebook in the middle of the day. Every time, I notice that my friends who are sitting at work have updated their status 5 times that day and none of my SAH friends have been on at all. So, I'm wondering what YOU do all day, OP. Just because you get a paycheck doesn't necessarily mean you are a productive person.

Intensity matters, too. So while these working moms may have 5 minutes of down time to update status, I'm sure during the rest of the day, they are working on projects. Furthermore, how hard is it to check FB status when most of our jobs involve desks and computers? You do know that you can have several windows up at once, right?

For the SAH, a computer isn't necessarily something that's in front of you all day long.

So your example is pretty weak.

And YOU seem to find the time to troll FB to check status updates. So I don't think you're a very good judge now, are you????[/quote

Yeah, but it's the content of the status updates that make me wonder. It's usually something like "Oh, I'm so bored at work!" or talking about something they just bought online, articles they are reading about celebrities. And I see that they are active on Farmville, Pinterest and such during the day.

FWIW, I check facebook while I'm waiting for my kids in the car loop at school. Right now, I'm sitting here waiting on an oil change.

[Anonymous]

Oops. Don't know why my reply is in the quote box.

"FWIW, I check facebook while I'm waiting for my kids in the car loop at school. Right now, I'm sitting here waiting on an oil change."

[Anonymous]

Yeah, but it's the content of the status updates that make me wonder. It's usually something like "Oh, I'm so bored at work!" or talking about something they just bought online, articles they are reading about celebrities. And I see that they are active on Farmville, Pinterest and such during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, but it's the content of the status updates that make me wonder. It's usually something like "Oh, I'm so bored at work!" or talking about something they just bought online, articles they are reading about celebrities. And I see that they are active on Farmville, Pinterest and such during the day.

That says more about your friends than working moms. I'm on FB but don't even know anything about those other things. I update my FB status maybe 5-6 times a year, usually when I'm posting some pictures I know relatives and good friends may want to see. There are plenty of people who abuse FB and overpost and are annoying, it's not a WM/SAHM thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone else has pretty much covered the fact that there are ways to be a useful and productive person without earning a paycheck. So I'd like to point out something that I don't think has been discussed although I haven't read all 18 pages.

Here's something that many don't understand about SAHM. One big factor for many of us is that our salary was such a small percentage of the household income. It just doesn't always make sense to go back to work. When I got pregnat with my first, DH was making $115K and I was making $30K. So it was kind of a no-brainer considering all the costs of day care, work wardrobe, etc. BTW, that's not because I was less successful - I was 25 and he was 32. ten years later and my youngest (3rd) is in half-day K. It still doesn't make sense for me to return to work. Not sure if it will next year either. Even though they will all be in school all day, we will still have the issue of getting them to school (which doesn't start until 8:50), child care after school, what to do all the days that they don't have school, and especially winter/spring/summer breaks. In my field, part-time or WAH is not an option so it's all or nothing for me. I stay relevant in my field through volunteer work and networking because someday it will make sense for me to go back to work.

Anyway, my small salary is by no means the only reason I stay home, but it's definitely a factor. It seems that most working moms have an income that's closer to 50% of the household income, so they really have no choice but to work. So I certainly don't judge anyone's decision to work. Even if they can get by on DH's income, I respect their decision and realize that staying home is not for everyone.

This is a really fair point. I think the reason it has not come up is because many, many women in this area and who post on this board make a lot more than 30K. For many of us it DOES make sense financially to work, and even if we don't absolutely have to (which is totally subjective and will depend on people's comfort level and how risk adverse you are in these times of ridiculous health care costs, insurance issues connected to employment, lack of pensions, etc.) it is a lot to give up. Many of didn't have kids at 25. So in your circumstances I could understand the limitations you faced by the time you had three kids and not a strong career background to return to (since you didn't work that many years before kids). But many moms on this board have other considerations to weigh - advanced degrees, years of a career they have invested in and may really enjoy, very valid earning potential, etc. Not saying anyone should work or stay home, it depends on so many factors and what is right for one family is not right for another, but I think your situation is less common in these discussions on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to add fuel to the fire...

What do SAHMs do with kids in school AND a live-in nanny (my SIL)?????

(I know, OP, you weren't trying to start a fight. I kinda am.)

This.
I don't really think that SAHMs or SAHDs have a hard time filling in the hours of 9am to 3 pm with school drop offs/pick ups, home and yard care, errands, grocery shopping,etc. and a wee bit of personal time. Sounds lovey to me(I SAH as a full-time parent to a 4.5 yr old and a 2 yr old so I get almost zero personal time).
However I do always wonder what it is that women who "SAH" and employ a full-time nanny do. Or rather I can guess what they do, but I wonder how they can say the are a full-time parent...
opps must go. my personal time is spent for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not trying to be funny, but if your kids are in school, what do you do all day? I've been on vacation all of this week, and LOVING it. Wishing I didn't have to go back. But, now that it's the end of the week, I'm wondering what would I be doing if this was my way of life? I feel like I'd run out of money & things to do.

Just curious....

What do you care?Writing a book or something?Poor you don't know how to manage money or find things to do.If more people would mind their own business I'm sure their marriage,money problems would be over.Instead unhappy people see happy people and want to cause trouble.I assume your one of them.

Wow, I am pondering why the hell it took you just under a year to dig up this old, tired thread and how you are still so angry about this persons post?! WTF?
The Md/va fight wasn't enough for you so you thought you would start a more feisty mommy war fight?
Don't feed the fire people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work-from-home part-time, project plan, conference calls (again part-time), hit the gym, clean my house, do laundry, call my mother, schedule play dates, wrap birthday presents, garden, paint my nails, take a shower, write emails, prep for house guests, make dinner, make lunches for next day, interview sitters, get car serviced, draw plans for house renovation, read a book, various errands, oh yeah, and masturbate in the bathroom.

Does that help?

Hmmm...I do all this AND work full-time.

hahhahaha... me too!

[Anonymous]

As you suspect, I eat bonbons and read love stories all day.

[Anonymous]

"It seems that most working moms have an income that's closer to 50% of the household income, so they really have no choice but to work. So I certainly don't judge anyone's decision to work. Even if they can get by on DH's income, I respect their decision and realize that staying home is not for everyone. "

Yes, my income is half of our HHI. It doesn't follow though that I "have" to work; I want to work. I've spent years working and training in my field. I also didn't have my first child until I had been working 10 years. Why would I want us to "get by" on DH's income? That's such a 1950s viewpoint.

[Anonymous]

I've been a SAHM for several years. It has pros and cons.

Pros:

- I have time to shop for quality food and take time to cook delicious meals

- My house is clean and little errands are taken care of. Like taking the dog to the wet, or paying bills, or making travel arrangements.

- DD is thriving. I have time to supplement DD's education at home, read to her, and take her to a number of extra curriculum activities and playdates. Just being able to go to a park is very enjoyable.

- I have time to go jogging or swimming or classes at the fitness center.

- I have time to hang out with my friends, read books, watch a movie occasionally, to garden.

Cons:

- I spend a lot more time doing housework and child activities than on myself.

I don't get rewarded for it - I don get paid neither do I get recognition for what I do.

- My social status is low because the society doesn't consider my work "work". SAHM are looked down on.

- There is no security. If something happened to DH or our marriage it would be hard for me to support myself given the gap in the resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Work-from-home part-time, project plan, conference calls (again part-time), hit the gym, clean my house, do laundry, call my mother, schedule play dates, wrap birthday presents, garden, paint my nails, take a shower, write emails, prep for house guests, make dinner, make lunches for next day, interview sitters, get car serviced, draw plans for house renovation, read a book, various errands, oh yeah, and masturbate in the bathroom.

Does that help?

Hmmm...I do all this AND work full-time.

hahhahaha... me too!

I can just see you two painting your nails and showering at work. Do you get company loofahs?