SAHM's, What do you do all day?
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Anonymous
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Just to add fuel to the fire...
What do SAHMs do with kids in school AND a live-in nanny (my SIL)????? (I know, OP, you weren't trying to start a fight. I kinda am.) |
Anonymous
Hmmm...I do all this AND work full-time. Yes, and some of the tasks simultaneously. But I would still love to SAH. More time for masturbating in the bathroom. |
Anonymous
| OP, I can see that you're not trying to be offensive, but it really does sound pretty belittelling. I'm a SAHM to a two year old and a 8 months old, so I'm not the one you are talking about, but I have to stand up for the other SAHM out there. No one asks a working mom what she does all day when she very well could be staring at a computer screen or sitting in a cubicle in a not very intellectually stimulating job. It's not fair to assume that a SAHM whose kids are in school has nothing to do but entertain herself. Sure, there are a few of those, but the majority of people lead very busy, fulfilling lives taking care of their families, households and communities. |
Anonymous
Yes, and some of the tasks simultaneously. But I would still love to SAH. More time for masturbating in the bathroom. If you're SAHM and your kids are in school--why do you need to masturbate in the BATHROOM? Might as well do it on the sofa in the living room, or the kitchen, or wherever... |
Anonymous
If you're SAHM and your kids are in school--why do you need to masturbate in the BATHROOM? Might as well do it on the sofa in the living room, or the kitchen, or wherever... If you're at home you can use the showerhead. Ohmygod!!!!!!!!!!! |
Anonymous
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Why do people care what other people do all day? I am a new SAHM and I don't go around asking, "What do you do at your job all day?"
I feel blessed that I am able to be home with my baby (yes, I know I am not exactly the demographic you first described), however, I don't plan to go back full time even when our kids (hope to have more in the future) are in school. I have been a teacher and let me tell you, I will never allow my children to be at school from 7:00 am to 6:00 pm. However, I will not judge those that do. That is simply not the choice I will make for my family. Be comfortable with the choices you make for yours and you won't wonder what other mothers do all day. |
Anonymous
| as a sahm I sit around and think about how lucky am NOT to be a working mom |
Anonymous
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I had this conversation with my DH the other day after he asked me the same question. It was not a conversation that went well for him, let me tell you. That man is still pissed off with me for putting him in his place.
As an artist I am able to work from home and it tends to be very part time. Currently non existent. I make phone call after phone call setting up therapies, doctors appointments, intervention appointments and queries into ongoing studies. Then I take our special needs child to all of the appointments necessary. I go running every other day for a couple of hours at a time. This is my therapy. I cook every meal at home and clean and do laundry. The cleaning and laundry are more on an as needed basis right now. I still have one child at home, our special needs child, and he requires constant attention. I live in a house that isn't as clean as it should be because I don't have freaking time. Heck, I don't even get to shower every day because of all the craziness that goes on in my day to day life. I am looking forward to the fall when all of my children are in school and I pursue my own interests. It has been a long time since I have been able to finish one work project in a day or have a couple of hours to read a book. If it wasn't for my forcing my DH to watch our sn child for a couple of hours every other day I would never get any time alone or relieve my stress. I can only dream of being able to go out to lunch with the ladies or catching a movie in the middle of the day. I know it won't happen though because I will still |
Anonymous
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I'm a SAHM with a 9th grader, a 1st grader, a preschooler (who is out for the summer) and a 12 month old. I am a college graduate but guess I would now call myself a glorified Family Administrator, not sure what else to call it. Think of it as an Office Administrator or maybe a Human Resources Director. There is always something that needs to be done, fixed, taken somewhere. My husband works from his home office and while it's nice to have him here it actually creates more work for me.
My 9th grader is athletic and always has something going on with sports. His activities take up most of my time. Even with the three other children I spend a great deal of time dealing with the 9th grader. Older does not necessarily equate to not in need of maintenance. I actually had planned on staying home once my oldest went into high school. DH and I both volunteer at sports events (announcer, chain gang, organizing drinks, etc.). DH also coaches one of my son's teams. 1st grader has play dates out the wahzoo, I am her personal driver. I volunteer my time to her school's office (2 hours a week during school), bring items home to type/create/proof, and assist her teacher with special projects (mostly tasks I can do at home). I plan on being very involved with the schools that my children attend. Preschooler attends class three half days a week, but school is out for the summer. I coop at the preschool once month and help to organize a yearly fall fair. It's all going along on errands and playing in the yard for the preschooler. I put more energy into my older children's activities than I do into Little Gym or Toddler Music (both of which I think are super cool!). I think, for our family, the younger children receive enough stimulation from the older children. We have to make a decision as to where I want to invest my time, who needs it the most. I want to prepare the older kids for life, and let the little ones learn as we go until they are a little older. My 9th grader is showing leadership qualities and being nominated to various groups at school. It's very important to us that he is able to pursue the opportunities being offered to him as he is off to college in three years. And the baby, he just hangs out. He is super laid back, very smart and cool with anything we do with him. I shop (duh) for clothes, groceries, school supplies, birthday gifts. I plan parties and bbqs (for instance, a huge gathering for Father's Day). I run dry cleaning around (don't we all?), drop off items to the post office, call in repair services when needed, schedule doctors appointments, laundry (for six people is ridiculous when you factor in sheets/towels/sports stuff), I watch sales for good deals, I garden and grow some vegetables, I meal plan/cook for everyone, I read before bed, I make sure the cars are running/oil changed, I plan weekend stuff when we have free time, Ugh, there is so much more I do. I am always running. Doctor's appointments alone, I swear, take up a ridiculous amount of time. One child has allergies, one has skin issues, and one has the dreaded well baby check up what feels like every 2 months. I have migraines as well so I am at the doctor quite often. While I don't have a nanny I do have a college student come in twice a week for three hours (6 hours total). While she is here I try to schedule dr appts so I either don't have to drag all the kids or I can get out with the kid who needs to see the dr. I also use her time to get into the garden, get a little organized, change sheets, anything else that I need to be away from the little ones. I don't think SAHM's with school age children necessarily sit at home doing nothing, or spend all day getting manis and pedis, I mean they certainly can but I think unless they are afforded the lifestyle that allows them to do so there is cleaning, cooking, basic home maintenance, and plenty of other things that get done in a well oiled home (all of which sound super boring and dull now that I re-read this). At night before bed, once the kids are put away in their rooms (a nice time of night), the dishwasher is loaded, lunches are made and my wine glass is full, I try to sit down and read. Evening is also when I exercise. Or watch my guilty pleasure shows/blogs (RHNJ, Nurse Jackie, DCUM). Or snuggle up with DH, talk about the kids and what a great job we are doing with them! I cannot remember when I actually accomplished all of the above when I worked in an office (way back in 2000), and I did 100% feel like staying home was a vacation. I totally get what OP is asking, but please rest assured OP, we are busy busy busy people! |
Anonymous
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I disagree that the OP was not trying to be offensive. I think she knew that this topic would get both "sides" (it's sad because there really shouldn't be sides as we are all parents trying to do right by our kids) all worked up.
I work full time, including putting in some hours at night. Like another PP, I would love to be able to stay at home for all the reasons she stated. FWIW, my older sister has been out of the workforce for 20 years. Her youngest child is 16. When I was younger and thought I was cooler than cool, I never really respected her choice to stay at home and kind of assumed she was just living a life of going to the gym, hanging out with friends and not really using her brain. But, since I've gotten married and had my own kids, I realize that not everything is black and white. She worked her ass of with those kids. Sure, she has ALOT more time now that the kids are grown to work out, go to lunch, etc. But, who cares? Her kids are amazing, and she deserves it. She is also really smart and curious and I am just kind of sad that I didn't take the time to get to know her as a person due to my own judgments. |
Anonymous
If you're SAHM and your kids are in school--why do you need to masturbate in the BATHROOM? Might as well do it on the sofa in the living room, or the kitchen, or wherever... You, my dear, are apparently Super Woman. Please pat yourself on the back. |
Anonymous
Got someone else payin your bills, huh? What a sense of accomplishment you must feel! |
Anonymous
You get it. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| 22:10 -- Is your sense of accomplishment in life gained by bringing home a paycheck? Mine is not. It comes from knowing I am providing my baby the very best start in life that I am to give. It comes from being a very important part of a loving family. If yours comes from working long hours and making money, then I feel quite sad for your children. |
Anonymous
Jealous? While my husband is the one who brings home a paycheck, I am an equal partner in supporting him in making the money that he makes. Just as he equally supports me in being the best sahm I can be. You should meet our kids. They are lovely and I can say that I've enjoyed the heck out of the years at home with them and haven't missed that need for work "accomplishments" in the least. |