Mom can't get over that DH doesn't participate in weekly FaceTime calls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really just do not understand pushy people. If someone doesn’t want to chat with you why do you think forcing it will yield an enjoyable experience? It’s the same as relatives trying to invite themselves to things. Why would you want to force yourself into an event where you weren’t invited.
We have a few relatives like this and the more they push, the more everyone avoids them.

Regardless, your mom pushing and pushing, is her problem. Not yours and not your husbands. She doesn’t get to dictate that your husband will chat with her weekly. You don’t need to explain or justify. Just say no and move on and don’t let her put her monkey on your back.

It’s a control freak thing, and also wanting what they perceive (incorrectly) as their “due” payback for all the uncomfortable hours they spent “visiting” with their own in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey Mom, I've been rather concerned myself over the continued negative response you seem to be having to the weekly video chats with us. Seems like time to back off on them a bit. We will start with every other week and go from there.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom, you’re right. Let’s schedule on Sunday instead so he can join more often.

LOL. Nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your parents are really trying to foster a relationship with your husband while he remains steadfast in being cold and distant to them for no good reason. He could try harder to be friendly and not hide behind “but I’m shy or an introvert”. He managed to date and marry you so he isn’t a total mute or social dud, right?

Found the pushy, rude MIL (or future pushy, rude MIL)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. “He’s an introvert with mild social anxiety” is a pathetic, made up excuse. Get over it and learn to behave like a normal human. I’m so sick of all the “introvert” crap.

Nobody cares what you are “so sick of.” You aren’t entitled to order other people around. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband needs to learn to deal with his poor social skills. Having a young child is going to offer more opportunities to interact with others, he needs to be able to do it.

He doesn’t have poor social skills. Her parents are draining and he prefers not to engage. It’s not his job to foster a relationship with her parents it’s her job. He can take care of interacting with his family. Also, the comparisons with her other SIL are not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Your mother is a manipulative control freak. Your DH knows this and is not playing her game. Good on him! Team DH!

[Anonymous]

Does your mom really want to speak regularly with your husband or is she getting caught up in what is proper behavior? Each requires different answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like your parents are really trying to foster a relationship with your husband while he remains steadfast in being cold and distant to them for no good reason. He could try harder to be friendly and not hide behind “but I’m shy or an introvert”. He managed to date and marry you so he isn’t a total mute or social dud, right?

Found the pushy, rude MIL (or future pushy, rude MIL)!

Found the pushy, socially inept arsehole DIL.

[Anonymous]

Do you love your children? Do you not understand that Mothers love their children?
Mothers are still Mothers when their children are adults. Same feelings. So many cruel people on this site. Probably sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you love your children? Do you not understand that Mothers love their children?
Mothers are still Mothers when their children are adults. Same feelings. So many cruel people on this site. Probably sick.

What does this have to do with the current thread??

[Anonymous]

Team OP. FaceTime is no fun. No way should DH be compelled to join WEEKLY. Popping in occasionally to say hello is 100% appropriate (assuming he is engaged and polite during in-person visits). Grandma is out of line to keep pushing. OP needs to say something like, “Mom, the point of these calls is for you and I and for you and Larla to connect. Larlo has a responsibility to FaceTime with Larla and his parents and he doesn’t need to always join ours. It’s making these less enjoyable if you aren’t able to enjoy the time we have together.”

[Anonymous]

Have you never talked to your Mom about your husband being more of an introvert and he just dies not talk a lot. It is nothing personal.

[Anonymous]

What I find fascinating is the idea that thrMIL thinks a good marriage is one in which the couple has to socialize with her parents together

[Anonymous]

“We have a 2 year old. We both work full-time. If you want to wait to FaceTime until we both have free time, calls will be infrequent. Let’s just enjoy the time we have!”