I’ve been honest with my daughter about what we can afford but….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she says she wants to at least SEE if she can get in to these places like Princeton and Pomona. I have no idea why. What is the point?

Let he know what you can pay, run the NPC to see the estimate, then let her take her shot. This is her one chance to apply to college, and there's no good reason to keep her from seeing what happens. There's a good chance she won't get in, but then the school has squelched her dreams, not you. If she gets in, there's a small chance that the financial package is better than you feared. But even if she gets in and you can't afford it, she can take pride in being "good enough" for the school, even if it's too expensive to attend.

That said, I'd also make sure she has a robust list of schools of varying costs and selectivity, and including some strong schools known for merit aid. Bonus: some of those have early action, so she can get a response before the rest of her applications are due. It's great to know that college is a sure bet, especially one that is affordable, well before the rest of the schools release their decisions.

I'm sure she'll take great comfort in that when you tell her "sorry" as she clutches her acceptance letter. "You set me up - why did you give me false hope?"

[Anonymous]

Clearly there are two minds of this.

There is no way in the world I would let my kid apply to Princeton if my current savings were $50k short of the tuition price per year (as is the case with OP).

I personally would much, much rather never get in than get in and then not go. The longer you string this on, the more emotionally invested a person becomes. end it now shrike it's just a brief thought.

[Anonymous]

Oops strike = while

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Plus, ask your DD to split the application fee for the expensive schools; the application fees add up and you can offer to refund her portion of the fee to her for any of the schools that she receives acceptance. She also should apply, as a baseline, to your and your DH's alma maters regardless of whether she 'wants' to go to either or not. Ideally, any letters of reference to the private schools that are not your family's alma mater(s) will also be from an alum teacher (ie HS teacher who went to Yale writes the letter for the application to Yale).

P

Legacy status at any of the Ivy League schools only makes a difference if the student applies Early Decision, and even then it's not much of a difference. Regular decision, forget it. Other schools, it may still make a difference but schools are moving away from legacy preference.

I also don't think your baseline application argument makes sense to start with. Different schools are fits for different people, and colleges (not to mention the admissions process) are very different than they were 20-30 years ago when most of us parents went to undergrad. My husband and I both went to a prestigious school, for example, but it was absolutely not the right fit for my oldest kid even though my husband and I both loved it when we were there. Also, admissions officers can see right through the applications where the kids were forced to apply because their parents went there, unless the kid can come up with their own good story about "why Mom's alma mater is a great fit for me."

Nearly all schools have made changes since you and your DH attended; the school you attended may be a fit for your DS now even though it would not have been a fit for him 20-30 years ago.

Legacy status is a factor that is tracked at all schools. The info is required as part of the Common Application.

I don't think you understand my post. Our son made his decision about our Ivy League alma mater based on current information, not our experiences 30 years ago. A school is never a fit simply because a parent went there, so the idea that a parent's alma mater is a no-brainer must-apply is simply silly.

Also, you don't understand how legacy works. Yes, legacy is still a factor in admissions at many schools -- but it doesn't mean it's a decisive factor when AOs are making up a class, particularly when they have a number of categories to fill. It may increase your odds, but the odds are long regardless.

PP, I do understand how legacy works and I stand by my encouragement to any family reading this to strongly consider (encourage) their DC to apply to their alma mater; especially their extremely highly selective alma mater(s).

Additionally, for every family reading this, the Common Application requires your DC to list where his/her/their parent(s) attended college and whether or not they graduated and whether or not they continued with their studies beyond college.

Good luck to all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Additionally, for every family reading this, the Common Application requires your DC to list where his/her/their parent(s) attended college and whether or not they graduated and whether or not they continued with their studies beyond college.

I suspect legacy can cut both ways. My kid got into my alma mater, but not its competitor (despite being qualified). I wondered whether that listing of our information was helpful in the case of my alma mater but unhelpful in the case of the other school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Additionally, for every family reading this, the Common Application requires your DC to list where his/her/their parent(s) attended college and whether or not they graduated and whether or not they continued with their studies beyond college.

I suspect legacy can cut both ways. My kid got into my alma mater, but not its competitor (despite being qualified). I wondered whether that listing of our information was helpful in the case of my alma mater but unhelpful in the case of the other school!

USC does not care that parent went to UCLA. Not at all.

Princeton in recent years was 40% legacy. You tell me if it still is important.

[Anonymous]

This thread is like all similar ones in that the suggestions for the excellent ROTC magic bullet solution falls on completely deaf ears. I know billionaire’s kids who are in the military, but you DMV folks would sooner pass up on a Princeton education than get within ten miles of Quantico.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is like all similar ones in that the suggestions for the excellent ROTC magic bullet solution falls on completely deaf ears. I know billionaire’s kids who are in the military, but you DMV folks would sooner pass up on a Princeton education than get within ten miles of Quantico.

We've had 20+ years of stupid wars fought stupidly with no intention of winning and I don't blame anyone who doesn't want their kid caught up in that. Is getting your legs blown off in Afghanistan worth the price of a Princeton education? My answer is no. I would very strongly advise any young man or woman today to avoid military service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about crossing that bridge when you get there?

Because then it becomes that much harder to say NO and there will be more disappointment and tears. If there really is a halfway decent chance for enough aid, that's one thing. But if the NPC and/or other data shows it is not realistic, better to head it off at the pass.

I disagree. Let her apply, and see how it pans out.

In 1990, I applied to Georgetown (from the Midwest) and was so excited to get admitted. My parents could not afford it, and so I did not go. But still, at age 50, I have a little bit of pride in myself that I was admitted there. I've gone on to have a successful career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you get need based aid at $250k?

Yes. Our DC got need based aid.

Where was this? That's almost unheard of at that HHI level, particularly anything over a nominal amount. No one should think they might get need based aid with that income unless there are unusual circumstances at play (e.g. 3 kids in college at the same time). We don't even make $200K and we still get an EFC of more than $60K.

Yes, 3 tuitions. We aren’t expecting this in two or three years.

Sorry but this bothers me. Why should you get a break because you had multiple kids? But we don't get a break for living in a high COLA area and made the decision to forego more kids, more expensive purchases in life to save for the kids we have?
This is the BS unfairness of this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you get need based aid at $250k?

Yes. Our DC got need based aid.

Where was this? That's almost unheard of at that HHI level, particularly anything over a nominal amount. No one should think they might get need based aid with that income unless there are unusual circumstances at play (e.g. 3 kids in college at the same time). We don't even make $200K and we still get an EFC of more than $60K.

Yes, 3 tuitions. We aren’t expecting this in two or three years.

Sorry but this bothers me. Why should you get a break because you had multiple kids? But we don't get a break for living in a high COLA area and made the decision to forego more kids, more expensive purchases in life to save for the kids we have?
This is the BS unfairness of this process.

But one could argue that you chose to live in a high COLA area-- that's a choice too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you get need based aid at $250k?

Yes. Our DC got need based aid.

Where was this? That's almost unheard of at that HHI level, particularly anything over a nominal amount. No one should think they might get need based aid with that income unless there are unusual circumstances at play (e.g. 3 kids in college at the same time). We don't even make $200K and we still get an EFC of more than $60K.

Yes, 3 tuitions. We aren’t expecting this in two or three years.

Sorry but this bothers me. Why should you get a break because you had multiple kids? But we don't get a break for living in a high COLA area and made the decision to forego more kids, more expensive purchases in life to save for the kids we have?
This is the BS unfairness of this process.

Having more kids and raising them successfully is a great benefit to society.

You living in a high COLA area and refusing to have more kids is a detriment to society.

It is not at all unfair that the former should be rewarded and the latter punished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. It's insane to tell your kid to apply when there is no realistic way that the parents can pay for it.

I'd be that OP probably has a HHI of $250K. Clearly a good HHI but not one that generally allows a DC resident (with the associated cost-of-living) to pay for $85K/year for college for two kids back-to-back.
However, it's way too much to qualify for financial aid at any school (Princeton, Harvard included).
There is zero way these schools are going to magically come up with aid.

I'm in this income bracket as are most of many of my friends in DC. We don't send our kids to Amherst or Northwestern or Harvard because we can't afford them.
There is a whole slew of kids at Walls and Wilson (Jackson Reed) who go to lower ranked schools because their parents don't have the $80K+/year for these school but because they're in the $200K+ income
range they do not qualify for aid. The kids who do attend are either 1)wealthier 2) poorer. Plenty of both in DCPS.

OP here. Thank you for posting. And yes, you are right. My stats match those you mentioned above. So then what do you do? Where does your child apply? The push for public is strong because of DC TAG and no need based financial aid, but she wants to see if she can get into harder schools knowing we can only give her about $30K/yr. Why not attend a fantastic public school who pays a strong student like you to attend is my thinking? Why be in a sea of high achievers at a place like Princeton only take out loans that force you into debt?

If you have a HHI of $250K and can give your kid $30K/year then there's no way your kid can attend Princeton or Pomona.
I don't think your kid can even borrow $50K/year. I'm not there (oldest kid is a junior) but there is ZERO way this kid should apply to schools that she is $50K/year out-of-range for.

I'm sorry OP. My kids are going to be in the exact same situation. We live in DC and have a decent income (mid 200's) but don't have $80K/year saved for college.
There are schools just below the top schools that offer merit aid. Again, I don't know off the top of my head but lots of DC kids attend them. You (and I) are not alone.

If OP’s kid has the stats to have a legitimate shot at getting into Princeton, there are dozens of great schools (private and otherwise) ranked in the 30-100 range in USNWR who give enough merit aid to make it work for OP’s kid. My DC got into four of them, and the merit aid was remarkably consistent (I think they all use the same consultants), with a total annual cost of attendance of around $40k (and he had high, but not “perfect” stats). A kid with Princeton-level stats would probably get more.

And not every kid is irrational about money. My DC’s college fund is sufficient to pay for 4 years of full tuition at any school, but DC only applied to one “top 20” school, and was relieved when he didn’t get in, because by then he had his merit offers in hand. He thought it would not make sense to spend an additional $200,000 for college that he can otherwise use for graduate school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she says she wants to at least SEE if she can get in to these places like Princeton and Pomona. I have no idea why. What is the point?

Let he know what you can pay, run the NPC to see the estimate, then let her take her shot. This is her one chance to apply to college, and there's no good reason to keep her from seeing what happens. There's a good chance she won't get in, but then the school has squelched her dreams, not you. If she gets in, there's a small chance that the financial package is better than you feared. But even if she gets in and you can't afford it, she can take pride in being "good enough" for the school, even if it's too expensive to attend.

That said, I'd also make sure she has a robust list of schools of varying costs and selectivity, and including some strong schools known for merit aid. Bonus: some of those have early action, so she can get a response before the rest of her applications are due. It's great to know that college is a sure bet, especially one that is affordable, well before the rest of the schools release their decisions.

I'm sure she'll take great comfort in that when you tell her "sorry" as she clutches her acceptance letter. "You set me up - why did you give me false hope?"

Exactly. At a private college where I worked at decades ago, that was basically an "admit, deny" situation. Student made the admissions cut (because of course you know the yield and need to offer x% more than the models calculates will come), however, there was too great of a gap between EFC and cost to attend, books, travel, spending $$, etc. for 4 years. Sometimes there is a grandparent or someone else paying, and you have need blind admissions, but I have to think it truly sucked to be in that household, and know that you got into a school and there is absolutely no way your family could fund going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you get need based aid at $250k?

Yes. Our DC got need based aid.

Where was this? That's almost unheard of at that HHI level, particularly anything over a nominal amount. No one should think they might get need based aid with that income unless there are unusual circumstances at play (e.g. 3 kids in college at the same time). We don't even make $200K and we still get an EFC of more than $60K.

Yes, 3 tuitions. We aren’t expecting this in two or three years.

Sorry but this bothers me. Why should you get a break because you had multiple kids? But we don't get a break for living in a high COLA area and made the decision to forego more kids, more expensive purchases in life to save for the kids we have?
This is the BS unfairness of this process.

Having more kids and raising them successfully is a great benefit to society.

You living in a high COLA area and refusing to have more kids is a detriment to society.

It is not at all unfair that the former should be rewarded and the latter punished.

Certainly one opinion. Another opinion is that for sustainability purposes, it is certainly not. More kids = greater use of depleting resources of the earth, eating food, buying so many things, large vehicles that run on energy--even EVs are not magical.