Would it be rude to send her home after an hour vs. taking to pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently DCUM would hate my neighborhood. Kids stop by each other’s houses to play. They ask if it’s a good time, and if it’s not, they go home or somewhere else. I like that my child is learning to navigate social situations. I’m not her cruise director.

Are you in the habit of sending your kid down to someone else's house for lunch?

She came to play. She didn’t ask for lunch. Maybe she eats later. My kid eats lunch around 11. Her closest neighborhood friends eat around 1 or 2. They just send her home when they’re ready to eat. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

No one wants your kid knocking on their door demanding they be allowed to come in. You are the mom people hate and we only take the kids as we feel sorry for then. If you send them to my house and don’t care where they are I owe you nothing. Grow up and try being a responsible parent. If your kid wants to play with friends you host.

Why do you think “Can Sally come out to play?” is a demand? It’s a question and one perfectly acceptable response is “No.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

Welp, I guess you don’t know what the other parent thinks is acceptable or OK for kids your age unless you…text or call and get on the same page! Knock knock can Janie play? Sure, we’re going to the pool. And we’re having ice cream while we’re there…

I guess if you want to know where your kid is and what they’re doing you should communicate with parents before you send kids around to be supervised by other people.

So you're going to kidnap their kid to teach the parents a lesson? Great idea! Or just say that your kids can only play for an hour b/c you have plans or just say sorry you're busy. That's how this works. But I doubt kids like this would make a stop at your house because you don't exactly sound like a go with the flow the more the merrier type so this would never happen to you.

That is correct you dog face beeyatvch

Like I said, nobody is sending their kid to your house. Yours is the house the kids pedal faster by because the crazy witch lives there and they're scared.

[Anonymous]

I’m so glad I’m somebody who enjoys kids. This would not stress me out in the least. Personally I’d have fed the kid, drive to her house to get a suit and taken her to the pool.

Only time I don’t enjoy kids and will send them packing is if their have bad behavior outside the range of normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad I’m somebody who enjoys kids. This would not stress me out in the least. Personally I’d have fed the kid, drive to her house to get a suit and taken her to the pool.

Only time I don’t enjoy kids and will send them packing is if their have bad behavior outside the range of normal.

Yup. This is probably why I have 4 kids and a minivan that can haul 8 passengers. I keep my garage fridge packed with drinks, snacks, and flavor ice. Neighborhood kids come over to play and can help themselves. If there’s extra food for lunch or someone is still here around dinner time I offer a plate if there’s enough. For gods sake I don’t work, it’s not like I have a thousand things to do. If a bunch of kids want to join at the pool the more the merrier. My kids fight less when there’s a few friends around to break up the siblings focus on each other.

I also grew up in a faith community where it was normal to have a lot of kids. I’m used to kids and really cherish this time. In a few years the house will be quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad I’m somebody who enjoys kids. This would not stress me out in the least. Personally I’d have fed the kid, drive to her house to get a suit and taken her to the pool.

Only time I don’t enjoy kids and will send them packing is if their have bad behavior outside the range of normal.

Yup. This is probably why I have 4 kids and a minivan that can haul 8 passengers. I keep my garage fridge packed with drinks, snacks, and flavor ice. Neighborhood kids come over to play and can help themselves. If there’s extra food for lunch or someone is still here around dinner time I offer a plate if there’s enough. For gods sake I don’t work, it’s not like I have a thousand things to do. If a bunch of kids want to join at the pool the more the merrier. My kids fight less when there’s a few friends around to break up the siblings focus on each other.

I also grew up in a faith community where it was normal to have a lot of kids. I’m used to kids and really cherish this time. In a few years the house will be quiet.

I find this to be more the norm with families who have a lot of kids themselves and have a SAHP. Good for you! A neighbor is a SAHM and has 5 kids and doesn't really blink when an extra kid comes wandering through and just throws some extra food on the table.

I'm happy with letting a kid in, kicking my kids out, or saying no. I have a hard time feeding them lunch, though. That's just me and my organizational capabilities while I'm still WFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

Yeah, I think this is exactly it. The crazy responses are from parents of little kids. Anyone with a 10+ year old kid can't possibly think this scenario is weird or somehow dangerous. An extra carseat? wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

No one wants your kid knocking on their door demanding they be allowed to come in. You are the mom people hate and we only take the kids as we feel sorry for then. If you send them to my house and don’t care where they are I owe you nothing. Grow up and try being a responsible parent. If your kid wants to play with friends you host.

We have a neighborhood mom like you. Trust me - my kids, and most of the kids in the neighborhood, know better than to knock on your door. It's your kid who is missing out on an awesome fun summer with neighborhood friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

Welp, I guess you don’t know what the other parent thinks is acceptable or OK for kids your age unless you…text or call and get on the same page! Knock knock can Janie play? Sure, we’re going to the pool. And we’re having ice cream while we’re there…

I guess if you want to know where your kid is and what they’re doing you should communicate with parents before you send kids around to be supervised by other people.

So you're going to kidnap their kid to teach the parents a lesson? Great idea! Or just say that your kids can only play for an hour b/c you have plans or just say sorry you're busy. That's how this works. But I doubt kids like this would make a stop at your house because you don't exactly sound like a go with the flow the more the merrier type so this would never happen to you.

Oh no honey, it's not kidnapping. Your kid came by to see if my kid can play. She sure can, we're going to the pool and we're getting ice cream while we're there--want to come? Or of course you can hang with us--we're going for a long hike that starts at the trail head at the end of our street. If your kid asks to call you first, I'll facilitate that. But otherwise, I am sure you're fine with whatever we'd like to do since you didn't communicate with me. Surely you told your kid they needed to be home by a certain time and they'll communicate to me--oh what's that, they forgot? And now you don't know where your kid is and they were supposed to be home an hour ago and now you're missing a family event? Oh dear oh dear maybe communicate with the parents next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

No one wants your kid knocking on their door demanding they be allowed to come in. You are the mom people hate and we only take the kids as we feel sorry for then. If you send them to my house and don’t care where they are I owe you nothing. Grow up and try being a responsible parent. If your kid wants to play with friends you host.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad I’m somebody who enjoys kids. This would not stress me out in the least. Personally I’d have fed the kid, drive to her house to get a suit and taken her to the pool.

Only time I don’t enjoy kids and will send them packing is if their have bad behavior outside the range of normal.

Yup. This is probably why I have 4 kids and a minivan that can haul 8 passengers. I keep my garage fridge packed with drinks, snacks, and flavor ice. Neighborhood kids come over to play and can help themselves. If there’s extra food for lunch or someone is still here around dinner time I offer a plate if there’s enough. For gods sake I don’t work, it’s not like I have a thousand things to do. If a bunch of kids want to join at the pool the more the merrier. My kids fight less when there’s a few friends around to break up the siblings focus on each other.

I also grew up in a faith community where it was normal to have a lot of kids. I’m used to kids and really cherish this time. In a few years the house will be quiet.

Why do your kids fight? Mine don't. I guess because we give them some attention and don't expect the oldest to raise the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

+2. And for an adult to be driving away the child or taking them somewhere without telling parents that would be kidnapping!

LOL, tell it to the officer. You sent your kid down unsupervised with no communication. “Can Carla play?” She sure can, we’re going to our cousins’ house and we’ve got an extra carseat. Shrug. If you gave a damn where your kid was or who they were with or what you’d be doing, you’d communicate with the other parent. If your child asks to call and make sure it’s OK first, oh sure here’s my phone. Don’t want your child going places and doing things with my family? Don’t send her down to my house without connecting with me.

You are insane, only have a toddler, or are trolling. My 10yo son goes out on his bike and knocks on friends doors and meets up with kids in the park. You think I should be texting all the parents in the neighborhood to see if their sons want to play?! No. My son is allowed to bike around the neighborhood by himself but I would certainly not be happy if another parent took him somewhere without texting me first!

No one wants your kid knocking on their door demanding they be allowed to come in. You are the mom people hate and we only take the kids as we feel sorry for then. If you send them to my house and don’t care where they are I owe you nothing. Grow up and try being a responsible parent. If your kid wants to play with friends you host.

I'm guessing your kids are younger? This will change as they get older.

Also, the kids aren't "demanding" anything. They're asking. It's okay to say no.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is just now at an age where she can bike to a friends house and knock on the door. We have been so busy this summer with camp etc she has not really yet but I’m hoping she will and her friends will do the same. We’ve just now had a neighbor run over a couple times after camp. We have been doing impulse control work and social skills work for years to help her build real deep friendships and I pray it’s finally payoff. I think it’s fine to send the kid home or include her, just know it’s a great problem to have.

[Anonymous]

I once had a kid come by and ask to play with no parent communication. We said yes and the friend ended up making chocolate chip cookies with us, as that was our plan for the afternoon. I let each kid have 3 warm cookies and milk (the cookies were small). The mom had the audacity to text me later and say she didn't appreciate that I gave her daughter cookies!

LOL.

And yes, I agree that if you send your kid over with no communication, we may end up somewhere besides our house, like going on a walk to have a picnic in the park that's about a 10-minute walk for us. If you're not OK with your kid going to a second location or need them home by a certain time, you'd darn well better communicate and you have no right at all to complain if you don't know where your kid is or they aren't home when you want them to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had a kid come by and ask to play with no parent communication. We said yes and the friend ended up making chocolate chip cookies with us, as that was our plan for the afternoon. I let each kid have 3 warm cookies and milk (the cookies were small). The mom had the audacity to text me later and say she didn't appreciate that I gave her daughter cookies!

LOL.

And yes, I agree that if you send your kid over with no communication, we may end up somewhere besides our house, like going on a walk to have a picnic in the park that's about a 10-minute walk for us. If you're not OK with your kid going to a second location or need them home by a certain time, you'd darn well better communicate and you have no right at all to complain if you don't know where your kid is or they aren't home when you want them to be.

I think this is fine, as long as the means of getting to the second destination is the same (or slower) than the means of travel that the kid used to reach your house. If my kid walked or biked to you unannounced, please don't put her in your car. Feel free to walk to the nearby park though -- she could get there on her own.