Would it be rude to send her home after an hour vs. taking to pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell the kid thr terms you're OK with - come back after your kids are done lunch, play an hour, whatever. These kids that show up alone can handle direct communication. Just be clear. "I'll tell you when it's time to go" and done. Don't make it a thing. You want to feed her? Do. You don't? Ask her to come back after yours are done. These kids off on their own either have instructions about lunch or a laid back approach and eat whenever. If she asks for food and you don't want to feed her t her she needs to go home. I actually came to enjoy these kids when I learned to be very explicit and direct.

So not rude at all.

DCUM: home of the high powered 6 figure career mommie who needs assertiveness training to deal with 12 year olds...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a kid come by and ask to play with no parent communication. We said yes and the friend ended up making chocolate chip cookies with us, as that was our plan for the afternoon. I let each kid have 3 warm cookies and milk (the cookies were small). The mom had the audacity to text me later and say she didn't appreciate that I gave her daughter cookies!

LOL.

And yes, I agree that if you send your kid over with no communication, we may end up somewhere besides our house, like going on a walk to have a picnic in the park that's about a 10-minute walk for us. If you're not OK with your kid going to a second location or need them home by a certain time, you'd darn well better communicate and you have no right at all to complain if you don't know where your kid is or they aren't home when you want them to be.

I think this is fine, as long as the means of getting to the second destination is the same (or slower) than the means of travel that the kid used to reach your house. If my kid walked or biked to you unannounced, please don't put her in your car. Feel free to walk to the nearby park though -- she could get there on her own.

How would you be sure that another parent wouldn't take your kid in the car without ever communicating to that effect? If you let your kid roam on their bike and the dad of the house says hey, I'll take the kids with me to McDonald's for lunch you don't really have a leg to stand on if you're mad about that.

Well ok, I guess I can't ever be sure about what's happening with my kid when I can't see her. But isn't that all about letting go and giving kids some independence? Sure, there's risk, but what's the alternative? Watching her every move? Theoretically things worse than putting her in a car to go to McDonald's could happen, but she's knocking on doors of families we know, who have some common sense. They've never put her or another kid in a car without talking to the parents as far as I know. Genuinely can't figure out what some posters are imagining this all actually looks like in real life.

As far as you know…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell the kid thr terms you're OK with - come back after your kids are done lunch, play an hour, whatever. These kids that show up alone can handle direct communication. Just be clear. "I'll tell you when it's time to go" and done. Don't make it a thing. You want to feed her? Do. You don't? Ask her to come back after yours are done. These kids off on their own either have instructions about lunch or a laid back approach and eat whenever. If she asks for food and you don't want to feed her t her she needs to go home. I actually came to enjoy these kids when I learned to be very explicit and direct.

So not rude at all.

DCUM: home of the high powered 6 figure career mommie who needs assertiveness training to deal with 12 year olds...

Idk, I used to feel bad for these kids that no one was watching them or cared where they were, so tended to want to be more mother like towards them. But that was my issue, and stopping my assumptions or judgements helped me see it differently and just be direct for my and my kids needs.