How do you deal with a 20 something daughter moving in with boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My dd will turn 23 in September, (had to do math born in 99)
And she living with her boyfriend and wants to start a family with him, they just graduated but hoping he can provide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could never enter the house, and then give us a housewarming present after they get married, like my parents did.
- married 25 years next month

Wow. Passive Aggressive Level: Expert. I hope you can laugh about that now, because it’s totally ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not reading all the answers, but this was a Dr. Laura Call of the Day podcast 2 days ago. The daughter is heartbroken she spend 4 years with the guy who dumped her and she was having to move out.

How Can I Help My Daughter?
Play • 6 min

Debbie's grown daughter is brokenhearted since being dumped by her boyfriend, and Debbie would like to know how to ease her pain. - Dr. Laura: "The best parents can do is help their children learn from their mistakes."

Did..did you just quote “Dr. Laura,” the reactionary radio host? Oof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandma, prepare for daughter and grand baby moving in with you in 2 years or so, after the freeloader has drunk the free milk and didn’t leave a forwarding address.

Day drinking AGAIN, MeeMaw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandma, prepare for daughter and grand baby moving in with you in 2 years or so, after the freeloader has drunk the free milk and didn’t leave a forwarding address.

+1. Living together is so tacky and low class. No honorable and responsible "man" does this, it's man-children mooching without putting a ring on it.

Oh, you’re writing from 1958. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moved in with my boyfriend at 21 after 1.5 years of dating, been together another 14 years, married for 8, and have 3 kids. We’re doing well and I don’t regret it.

Shacking up for 6-7.5 years before he finally put a ring on it and you think that's worth bragging about? Bless your heart but you have mighty low standards.

And for every 1 of these "success" stories, there's 100 who got dumped or never got a ring after pissing away their 20s and often early 30s (READ prime and fertility) with a man-child bum who just used them until they finally wised up or he left for some new gullible idiot.

Hi, Brunch Granny! Welcome back. ROFL.

[Anonymous]

It's really rude and immature to dismiss the comments and opinions of people based on your assumption they are older or have the viewpoint or some beliefs of older people. It's ageism and it's tedious and ignorant. You may think the only valuable opinions are those of your age peers or those who agree with you but that only illustrates your close minded limitations. If you're lucky you'll get older someday and will look back at your arrogant younger self and be embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

My personal opinion (as a woman) is that if a woman desires marriage, it's ideal to wait to move in until a commitment is made (engagement). I am older than your DD (late 20s) but when my S/O broached this, I told him point blank that I would NOT be moving in without a ring, as it would require me to spend $$$$ on moving, selling or renting my current place, etc. and I needed a commitment from him as well. We went ring shopping several months later.

That being said, your daughter is an adult and at least you like the BF. Not the end of tbe world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My personal opinion (as a woman) is that if a woman desires marriage, it's ideal to wait to move in until a commitment is made (engagement). I am older than your DD (late 20s) but when my S/O broached this, I told him point blank that I would NOT be moving in without a ring, as it would require me to spend $$$$ on moving, selling or renting my current place, etc. and I needed a commitment from him as well. We went ring shopping several months later.

That being said, your daughter is an adult and at least you like the BF. Not the end of tbe world.

Engagements break, marriages end, there are no guarantees in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have been dating for over two years and met in college. Nice guy from good parents. I always told her do not move in unless there is a ring and a date. Some of her friends are living with SOs and I was always happy she was living on her own rather than doing this.

They are both turning 24. OK, get they are adults but both sets of parents are somewhat uneasy. If you have been in the same situation, how did you cope?

If both families think they are compatible and suitable, why get stuck on timing? They are in 20's not teens or tweens. Life is short. Let them be happy. May be both families can suggest an engagement.

[Anonymous]

Cope?

[Anonymous]

Always reminds me of a guy around this age was screwing a HS girl and Dad gave him the “talk” and he refused to listen.

He got snatched off street with bag over head driven out to the woods handed a shovel to dig his grave. Asked to kneel then they put a gun to head and pulled trigger.

No bullet was in gun. They then said we know where you live we can snatch you again and next time gun will be loaded if you ever get in touch, talk to or get in touch with so and so.

He was tossed back in trunk with hood still on and tosses back in street where he got picked up.

He immediately calls my two friends who tell him let me get this straight you are banging a HS student as a 27 year old man and Dad Told you to stop. You refused. You go to cops with this wild story two man kidnapped you and returned you back to safe spot unharmed a few hours later. After they are done laughing you go home and the two guys just snatch you again and kill you.

He did not call cops and stop seeing girl. It is a shame things no longer are that easy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your worry?

OP: her getting tied down when she should be using these years to learn more about herself. And the possibility he strings her along if she wants to get married.

Both those things are possible with two separate addresses.

+1. They are saving money by living together. They realize they would be spending the night at each other’s places anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always reminds me of a guy around this age was screwing a HS girl and Dad gave him the “talk” and he refused to listen.

He got snatched off street with bag over head driven out to the woods handed a shovel to dig his grave. Asked to kneel then they put a gun to head and pulled trigger.

No bullet was in gun. They then said we know where you live we can snatch you again and next time gun will be loaded if you ever get in touch, talk to or get in touch with so and so.

He was tossed back in trunk with hood still on and tosses back in street where he got picked up.

He immediately calls my two friends who tell him let me get this straight you are banging a HS student as a 27 year old man and Dad Told you to stop. You refused. You go to cops with this wild story two man kidnapped you and returned you back to safe spot unharmed a few hours later. After they are done laughing you go home and the two guys just snatch you again and kill you.

He did not call cops and stop seeing girl. It is a shame things no longer are that easy

.........what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really rude and immature to dismiss the comments and opinions of people based on your assumption they are older or have the viewpoint or some beliefs of older people. It's ageism and it's tedious and ignorant. You may think the only valuable opinions are those of your age peers or those who agree with you but that only illustrates your close minded limitations. If you're lucky you'll get older someday and will look back at your arrogant younger self and be embarrassed.

Deal with it, toots.