Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

[Anonymous]

Stop parroting and pretending it’s not you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

What… the. He needs a parenting class. For real. I would sit him down and say you need to take a basic parenting safety class and/or review some books and materials if you want me to trust you with the kids. Otherwise I’m separating and going for full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop parroting and pretending it’s not you OP.

NP - Crazy troll poster back again!

[Anonymous]

I would never put him in charge of kids again. Get a babysitter.

I would divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, baby submerged alone in tub is real real bad. He must have bad ADD. I don't think it's safe for him to be alone with real little kids. I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

OP is a nut job, I hope the husband takes the kids and runs far far away.

[Anonymous]

OP - when the bathtub incident happened how did he react? did you guys make any changes then? did he feel bad or did he think you were overreacting? how is your relationship otherwise? i agree with PP that you need to take some time to cool down. but then you need to make a plan - you should make him get a neuropsych evaluation - this will be helpful if/when you do pursue divorce. how do you think he would respond to that? does he realize how messed up this is? thank God your twins are ok. look, young kids are hard and we all mess up - but these are really big and scary mess ups. there needs to be some soul searching on his part here. as for you - you know you can't trust him with the kids so you need to overcommunicate - yes it's unfair, but you need to overcompensate for him to keep your children safe.

ALSO for all the dcum lawyers and wannabees saying 50/50 custody until they're blue in the face - that's not always what the dad wants. does he actually think he could parent 3 young children alone half the time? doubtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not enough information. It does point to a pretty bad situation with the two of you, however. If he thought you were home, wouldn't he say, hey, I'm heading out? If not at least to be nice and thoughtful, more so to make sure you knew so that the twins weren't roaming around alone. Do you often go into your room with your toddler with the door closed? The whole thing is strange.

This. If you were in the room with door closed with preschooler, why the hell would he not pop in and say, hey I need to go out, you need to watch the twins?! Failure to do that is reason enough to be pretty pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not enough information. It does point to a pretty bad situation with the two of you, however. If he thought you were home, wouldn't he say, hey, I'm heading out? If not at least to be nice and thoughtful, more so to make sure you knew so that the twins weren't roaming around alone. Do you often go into your room with your toddler with the door closed? The whole thing is strange.

This. If you were in the room with door closed with preschooler, why the hell would he not pop in and say, hey I need to go out, you need to watch the twins?! Failure to do that is reason enough to be pretty pissed.

Why wouldn’t she do that when leaving to go get the other children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - when the bathtub incident happened how did he react? did you guys make any changes then? did he feel bad or did he think you were overreacting? how is your relationship otherwise? i agree with PP that you need to take some time to cool down. but then you need to make a plan - you should make him get a neuropsych evaluation - this will be helpful if/when you do pursue divorce. how do you think he would respond to that? does he realize how messed up this is? thank God your twins are ok. look, young kids are hard and we all mess up - but these are really big and scary mess ups. there needs to be some soul searching on his part here. as for you - you know you can't trust him with the kids so you need to overcommunicate - yes it's unfair, but you need to overcompensate for him to keep your children safe.

ALSO for all the dcum lawyers and wannabees saying 50/50 custody until they're blue in the face - that's not always what the dad wants. does he actually think he could parent 3 young children alone half the time? doubtful.

If I were the judge I wouldn’t leave these children with either parent. They both messed up big time. OP can’t even admit her faults and who knows about her husband. They both seem unfit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shaking with rage. He said he thought I was in the bedroom with my preschooler with the door closed. I was picking her up from school like I do every day at that time. We are never home at that time. Why would he think that? Toddlers were just roaming around the house on their own. Probably about a half hour and I completely lost it when I realized what he had done. My mind is spinning. I don't want him to set foot in this house again. Is this divorce worthy. Am I overreacting.

Was he horrified? I feel like this is not something that would happen but the couple of times one of us have messed up we are SO upset. If he’s not taking responsibility I’d been so angry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not enough information. It does point to a pretty bad situation with the two of you, however. If he thought you were home, wouldn't he say, hey, I'm heading out? If not at least to be nice and thoughtful, more so to make sure you knew so that the twins weren't roaming around alone. Do you often go into your room with your toddler with the door closed? The whole thing is strange.

This. If you were in the room with door closed with preschooler, why the hell would he not pop in and say, hey I need to go out, you need to watch the twins?! Failure to do that is reason enough to be pretty pissed.

Why wouldn’t she do that when leaving to go get the other children?

Yes I just realized that. In a house of three kids under 4, you should always be communicating with each other when leaving the house.

[Anonymous]

Where did he go?

He didn't notice your car was gone when he left?

If you had your door CLOSED wouldn't someone need to be watching two year old twins? - this is the part that's confusing to me. If I left the house with two year old twins roaming around, i would (1) put them in their cribs or bumbos or whatever and (2) find the other adult to say "he larlo and barlo are in the bumbos" - be back in 15...

something about this story is very off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

WHY ON EARTH WOUKD YOU HAVE ANOTHER KID WITH THIS PERSON?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. this is not the first time. When eldest was six months old he left the then infant alone in the baby bathtub because I had just been in the bathroom and he thought I was paying attention to what he was doing. I wasn't. I walked in to find baby fully submerged. Grabbed her and spent the next 24 hours watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She was fine but I almost left him then.

Wait, this happened before and you didn’t communicate to your partner that you were leaving the house to pick up another child when there were other children in the house? Just as much your fault as his. Your reaction is absolutely uncalled for and you both need therapy to address communication.

+1 not his fault, this is on you op. Never ever leave a home with children in it without talking to another adult first.

You pps are totally off base. The DH is the one who left the house without talking to an adult and the one who left the bathroom. If he had talked to an adult he would have noticed that his assumptions are incorrect. This board never ceases to amaze me.