Husband refuses to allow our child to see unvaccinated family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild. People are really letting vaccination status tear apart their family? Sounds like there was already a rift, but c’mon. You’re not letting your kid have a normal childhood because of covid? I can’t imagine going to such extreme measures to avoid covid. I’m assuming you lived a normal life pre-COVID even though it was full of risks including for your spouse. I’d try to take a step back, look at the big picture and figure out what the end game is for tour family. This seems like no way to live.

Op here.

You’re really blowing this out of proportion. I took the advice of DCUM and DH is fine with DS and I to see my sister and her children at a park or in public with a mask until DS can be vaccinated.

He is not comfortable with indoor gatherings with unvaccinated family with prolonged contact, shared surfaces, food, etc.

It’s not "tearing my family apart", my sister chose to not vaccinate and my husband is choosing boundaries for our family. Yes, he does not like my sister and thinks she’s a user. But he only has to see her at thanksgiving or Christmas. We won’t be in town this year for my nieces birthdays and my family doesn’t really get together for big gatherings aside from holidays.

Does this mean your family is traveling? This is what I dont understand. You are describing how covid conscious he is, yet you are traveling over the holidays and he got mad about your sister wanting testing and isolation before gatherings.

[Anonymous]

I am team husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is wild. People are really letting vaccination status tear apart their family? Sounds like there was already a rift, but c’mon. You’re not letting your kid have a normal childhood because of covid? I can’t imagine going to such extreme measures to avoid covid. I’m assuming you lived a normal life pre-COVID even though it was full of risks including for your spouse. I’d try to take a step back, look at the big picture and figure out what the end game is for tour family. This seems like no way to live.

It's not vaccination status that is 'tearing families apart'. It is the choices people are making regarding vaccinations. People who are candidates for vaccination but choose not are choosing to disregard the safety of others and consume medical resources when they get COVID. Remember the guy who had to wait a week to have surgery for a gunshot wound because his area medical facilities were overwhelmed by COVID patients? It's not vaccination status that's the problem. Selfish behavior is the problem.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/08/16/joel-valdez-houston-covid-hospitals/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild. People are really letting vaccination status tear apart their family? Sounds like there was already a rift, but c’mon. You’re not letting your kid have a normal childhood because of covid? I can’t imagine going to such extreme measures to avoid covid. I’m assuming you lived a normal life pre-COVID even though it was full of risks including for your spouse. I’d try to take a step back, look at the big picture and figure out what the end game is for tour family. This seems like no way to live.

It's not vaccination status that is 'tearing families apart'. It is the choices people are making regarding vaccinations. People who are candidates for vaccination but choose not are choosing to disregard the safety of others and consume medical resources when they get COVID. Remember the guy who had to wait a week to have surgery for a gunshot wound because his area medical facilities were overwhelmed by COVID patients? It's not vaccination status that's the problem. Selfish behavior is the problem.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/08/16/joel-valdez-houston-covid-hospitals/

Do you refuse to see family over ALL forms of "selfish behavior" or just this specifically?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't see unvaccinated family for a wide range of reasons. Your dh is right.

[Anonymous]

He probably doesn’t like them because they are selfish, stupid and dangerous. You married well. Don’t mess it up because you are related to idiots.

[Anonymous]

I can't bring myself to read this entire thing because I cannot believe there are still people that would cut ties with family over whether or not they are vaccinated against Covid. At this point, seriously?

Your husband is using this as an excuse because he doesn't like them. Or if that's not the case, he needs to do something about his anxiety. He is encountering lots of people that are unvaccinated, and I bet he's encountered a bunch that are covid-positive. This is why it's important that he have a vaccine. Using a 3 year old as an excuse...is a bad excuse.

Separately, my sister in law and niece (age 6) are both on methotrexate. At the beginning of the pandemic they were (understandably) freaked out and never left the house. But they have all come around. They even ended up getting Covid, and all were completely and perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't bring myself to read this entire thing because I cannot believe there are still people that would cut ties with family over whether or not they are vaccinated against Covid. At this point, seriously?

Your husband is using this as an excuse because he doesn't like them. Or if that's not the case, he needs to do something about his anxiety. He is encountering lots of people that are unvaccinated, and I bet he's encountered a bunch that are covid-positive. This is why it's important that he have a vaccine. Using a 3 year old as an excuse...is a bad excuse.

Separately, my sister in law and niece (age 6) are both on methotrexate. At the beginning of the pandemic they were (understandably) freaked out and never left the house. But they have all come around. They even ended up getting Covid, and all were completely and perfectly fine.

+100000.

[Anonymous]

If you are unvaccinated, you are subject to getting larger doses of covid in your system and therefore are also more able to expose others to larger doses of covid when around them.

I would not eat indoors around unvaxxed people if I could help it.

Sounds like you got a good result for everyone so good job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild. People are really letting vaccination status tear apart their family? Sounds like there was already a rift, but c’mon. You’re not letting your kid have a normal childhood because of covid? I can’t imagine going to such extreme measures to avoid covid. I’m assuming you lived a normal life pre-COVID even though it was full of risks including for your spouse. I’d try to take a step back, look at the big picture and figure out what the end game is for tour family. This seems like no way to live.

Op here.

You’re really blowing this out of proportion. I took the advice of DCUM and DH is fine with DS and I to see my sister and her children at a park or in public with a mask until DS can be vaccinated.

He is not comfortable with indoor gatherings with unvaccinated family with prolonged contact, shared surfaces, food, etc.

It’s not "tearing my family apart", my sister chose to not vaccinate and my husband is choosing boundaries for our family. Yes, he does not like my sister and thinks she’s a user. But he only has to see her at thanksgiving or Christmas. We won’t be in town this year for my nieces birthdays and my family doesn’t really get together for big gatherings aside from holidays.

Are you a Stepford wife? This sounds ridiculous. What else does your husband not allowed you to do? Sitting in a park to see your sister with a mask? Your husband is a complete douche bag. Or you are a troll because this is all completely stupid.

I’m beginning to think this is a troll story too because none of it makes sense unless you’re crazy. This marriage is doomed. She’s like “you’re blowing this outta proportion” as she proceeds to say how her husband won’t event let her go to a park. Just insane.

It's totally troll MO. Tell an unbelievable story, disappear for awhile, come back later and add some pertinent details deliberately omitted in the original OP (oh by the way Sis insisted on tests at Christmas but douche bag husband got pissy), then come back and say something like all the totally helpful advice gave me a solution to my totally fake problem. As if people really take relationship advice offered here Troll.

[Anonymous]

fwiw my husband and I were just talking about not going to Easter dinner with his family because some of them aren't vaccinated. Not OP, but this situation isn't that crazy. We love them, and we will see them at some point, but not eager to eat indoors with unvaxxed people.

[Anonymous]

This is another example of people using COVID as an excuse to not do something they didn’t want to do in the first place. Your DH doesn’t like your family and this is a way to not see them. I hope you are not really going to cut your family off because they won’t get a vaccine. Your kid is low risk. Go see your family and leave DH at home. He didn’t want to go anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:fwiw my husband and I were just talking about not going to Easter dinner with his family because some of them aren't vaccinated. Not OP, but this situation isn't that crazy. We love them, and we will see them at some point, but not eager to eat indoors with unvaxxed people.

Why? The vaxx protects them. Not others. It doesn’t prevent transmission. This is confirmed from the cdc.

I can see if this were a year ago, but to still say stuff like this makes no sense and you aren’t following the science.

If you’re going to any public place to eat, you’re surrounded by unvaccinated people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is another example of people using COVID as an excuse to not do something they didn’t want to do in the first place. Your DH doesn’t like your family and this is a way to not see them. I hope you are not really going to cut your family off because they won’t get a vaccine. Your kid is low risk. Go see your family and leave DH at home. He didn’t want to go anyway.

This in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

The nasty anti vaxxers are all over this thread.

What they don’t understand is that their behavior has consequences. They don’t get to demand to be back in with the rest of the normal family. Most were probably unliked before the pandemic but their awful behavior just pushed it over the line.

In our extended family, the one set of nasty anti vaxxers has basically been dropped. They aren’t being invited to weddings or any extended family events anymore. No one misses them either.